Sorry for not getting back to the discussion sooner. I how do you feel now about the incident after having your son? Take into consideration that hormones are still flowing now. How have things been for the two of you since learning about this?View Thread
What occured, happened, when you found out about the sexting when you were 2 mos pregnant? Do you consider the sexting as cheating( I ask because it varies from person to person as what their beliefs are)? How old are the two of you, and how long have you been married, together? Are you currently seperated? Where is your husband now?
More questions than answers or supoort. Sorry about that. More information would be helpful. As painful as this is for you, I'm certain you are experiencing many emotions. Recognizing those will be beneficial for you. With the limited information given I can only suggest a form of counseling for yourself.View Thread
I agree with the previous poster that secretively taking a day off from work while your spouse is away, especially for Dr's appts., is rather peculiar. Why would a spouse do that and keep it a secret!?! does he have a gambling problem or something? You mentioned 'somewhat turbulent', are you describing the marital relationship dynamics or the blended family dynamics? From what you've written, I would consider he was/is possibly cheating or at the very least a gigantic flirt, perhaps to stroke his ego. And if there isn't solid proof as you say, it's anyones guess. Have you mentioned couples counseling to them, as it seems as though there maybe deeper issues involved here.View Thread
As the other poster mentioned, the aging process does change a variety of things and there is no set age or time frame for this or changes to occur. How old is your wife(yourself)? Also as previously mentioned is that time has an effect on different things for couples in different ways. If your wife initiated for the most part during your more active years she may feel it's her turn to feel wanted and desired. Plus, think of all the changes happening around us, and how it is and/or maybe effecting her. Is there some sort or kind of stressors that may be on her mind? Do you have children? How long have you been going on business trips? Is the importance of passion and desire from your wife what or is the only thing that attracts you to your wife? Is that what makes a marriage in your eyes?
It is true that just because a person in such a situation whose libido has declined some does not mean they don't find their partner attractive. I don't think you're asking for too much, however, perhaps how you are going about it, maybe demanding it, is too much. If the times of engagement are pleasurable, why not continue to initiate them? I don't think this would be cause for divorce for myself.View Thread
From what you wrote, I see it as you are doing things you want to, when you want to and so on.
You mentioned that you are a recovering alcoholic and that your husband has normal drinking habits. So I'd like to mention the possibility that a person who has drinking habits may not see or as you said fully understand the alcoholic concept. Doesn't mean that he's not being supportive.
I'd also like to mention that if some of the other persons whom are asking why do you let him control you like you do are affiliated with the AA groups, you're probably not getting any 'Unbiased' feedback. All too many AA and NA/CA groups are one-sided and selfish in a sense that nothing else matters, only the things in the group and the 'person' in the group. Which is incorrect in the grand scheme of things. Life is about balance. Which is taught in the groups, yet they seem to negate away from the balance with partners/spouses.
Are you going nuts? No I don't think so. Could this be 'midlife', oh yes. Do others go through this, oh yes again. And it has very little if anything to do with a persons alcohol status(unless of course they're in need of some intervention).
Why not mention to him that for one day, one week-end a month you'd like to just do things for you by yourself? Or one day every other week-end? And how about turning off the TV as queston mentioned and have some quality one on one time. You don't want to exclude him completely from your life and life activities do you?View Thread
Has your husband ever been involved with his daughter in the past, like for visits or parental decisions? Does your husband pay child support? I'm assuming from what you have written that your husband has had no contact with the childs mother for many years.
I agree with queston, it really truly is not your place to do anything other than talk with your husband to better understand how he genuinely feels about having a commitment to being involved in her life from here on in/out. Let alone how he genuinely feels about or towards her for that sake alone.
And again, as queston mentioned, I can see how detrimental this would be for the girl/child. Something like this should not be considered on a whim or some notion or illusion that it would be fun to do, something nice to do, a hobby or fleeting fancy. Like looking through rose colored glasses, a situation like this is not a bed of roses or petals. You'd be opening up a door to a host of situations, not all of them pleasant. And the blended family, step-parenting, bio-parenting, etc... The maturity level of all the adults should be considered.