I am responding to the opening post in this thread so no one thinks I'm directing my response at them.
I remember someone telling me once that I had no right to give them advice on raising their child because I didn't have any (children). Now that I have my son full-time all that "knowledge" I thought I had went directly out the window. You truly don't know the situation unless you have gone through yourself.
I knew I needed to end things with my sons mother about 10 months before I actually did it. The number one reason was my feelings towards her which were so strong at that point that I just refused to give up.
I'm assuming if you're legally married and have professed undying love, and commitment, loyalty, etc in front of a group of people you would want to fight tooth and nail to keep your marriage together. Even if it isn't a happy marriage. Humans by nature hate failure. A divorce is a sign to everyone in the world that your marriage failed (regardless of the reason).
A lot of people don't divorce because of the children. And yes, we've heard many times that it would be better to divorce than for your children to be in an unstable environment (even I've said it a few times). But, I believe Questons daughter is his foster-daughter (or there is a foster-child somewhere in the mix). That might be another reason as to why he's hesitant to divorce. I'm not entirely sure how the courts would handle that.
Maybe this is fairly new in the relationship. If you have 25 years of marriage, and one spouse acts like a complete fool for 1-2 years of it... I think you've done a pretty good job. Especially if it's not harming you, nor your children in a financial, or physical aspect. Yes, his wife is with-holding sex... and having experienced that myself, I can tell you... it's a pain and horror you just can't explain (not exaggerating). But, from his post his child/children are well taken care of. There is no physical abuse, etc.
I'm in no way saying that Queston should divorce, nor am I saying that he should stay in the marriage. I don't know, seeing as though we're only hearing about the bad things in his marriage (this is why the board was created I'm assuming). When I was having problems in my relationship everyone on here on heard about the negative aspects of it, because this was my way to vent, calm down, etc. Maybe it's the same with him. Maybe his wife really isn't that bad. I dunno... but I can certainly understand why he's so hesitant to divorce at this moment.
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them -- Maya Angelou
Seems to me that he has shown you who this "new" person that he has evolved into is. You need to understand, know, and believe that *is* him. Not only has he shown you, he has told you.
He seems to have wanted to leave (you don't mention him resisting or mentioning wanting to stay). At this point, you need to respect yourself and let him go (emotionally). Before you become so broken down and broken hearted that you can't be there 100% for your child.
April Fools day is always great when you work in a hospital.
We don't have a maternity ward, so we always turn away women who are in labor (if we can). We'll just stabilize them, and send them out to another hospital in the area that does. However, we do accept them if they're in active labor, seeing as though the baby could drop in any min.
Our CEO always runs to the ER when we have a woman in active labor.
So, someone in the ER called the code, and they took a CPR baby and covered it in tomato paste and cottage cheese. When the CEO ran down the hallway they sent out a nurse that was holding and baby and "accidently" dropped it. Everyone thought it was hilarious except the CEO... many people got written up.
I did my average "saline in the coffee pot" routine. I scared one of the surgery nurses by telling her that she accidently put nitro paste on a patient instead of anti-bacterial ointment... that one got me slapped in the back of the head once she calmed down.View Thread
Why is everything that's suppose to be bad... makes me feel good
One of the things that I find disturbing about this is that your wife *originally* agreed that your daughter was entirely too young to be spending the night with her boyfriend, then suddenly she has a change of heart. I know what I do when I spend the night with someone I find myself sexually attracted to (screw romantically at this point)... I can only assume that she's doing the same.
Second, I noticed that you wife never offers you sex if you agreed to her thinking... I see the use of the word "maybe" a lot. Which I'm sure you know (if you agree) will eventually turn into a "no".
I'm not telling you to get a divorce, but... what's stopping you?View Thread
Daughters, lock up your mothers! I'm single again!