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I have reluctantly started cipralex again after about 2 yrs of no meds but at the same time suffered with vertigo badly for two periods of time plus then sciatica which is still not great - thus not as active as I had hoped to be - plus had no Vit D according to blood tests in my system so also started Vit D3 at 2000 units daily. I have gained weight just due to inactivity and antidepressant, I think due to some phsical limitations with vertigo and sciatia plus some pain meds - so feel hopeless ref the weight gain having been a bit overweight int he beginning. Woe is me. I know I need to stay on the cipralex however for awhile. Any advice is helpful. LilysjmView Thread
Having grown up in a Catholic family I began trying to bring my religion into whether or not I agreed with this procedure. Drawing from my faith, I believe that every person is a creation of a loving God; there's not one person whom God loves less than another. I have asked myself the question, "What did I do to deserve this?" which I'm sure many of you have asked yourself as well. While I have struggled with this question for the past few years, currently reaching my 18th birthday, I refuse to accept society's believes that God is punishing people with mental or physical illness. With this all being said, I have been able to come to terms with my illness and with medicine and therapy have been able to cope. Although, I am aware that for many people with depression this is not the case. I understand that for a number of people, these treatment options are non responsive and can have opposite affects on an individual.
In conclusion, I would like to say that to all of you considering undergoing ECT that while it may seem scary, the positive effects that it may be able to bring one may be worth the fear. (I'm not advising anybody to get it…because I have absolutely no medical credibility, being merely a high school student.) I would just like to say that I hope the best for all of you that are suffering from depression, and looking for a way out…suicide is not the option. Speaking from a personal place, I have struggled with self-harm and feelings of suicide, but now, being in a better place, can say that it gets better. I have found my happiness in service to others, and have found that in taking the focus off my own struggles and issues, I am able to live a fuller life. I hope that for whoever is reading this, they understand that I am in no way trying to impose myself because quite honestly, I don't know your story and your past, I just feel a sense of understanding for this group because I understand the pain.
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I am reading a great book, 'When You Love Someone Who is Depressed', and it's helping but it is also making me angry, sad and feel even worse and alone and I do believe his depression is becoming contagious! This book indicates I should be patient, understanding, not pushy, accept what's going on be there for him, work together and so many other things and I keep thinking...wait a minute, HE is on meds and he is going to therapy so HE is getting better but in the meantime I don't have anyone and I have to keep everything to myself!! It doesn't seem fair, where is the partnership a relationship is supposed to have? Why do I keep reading in this book and everything online "support the depressed person, be there for them" but I don't see anywhere that the depressed person has to support me and be there for me. I do realize this is a very serious illness for him and I am doing my best but it really is making me very sad to not have him to share when I have a lousy day. It is an emotional roller coaster to say the least! I miss my best friend, I miss someone to talk to, I miss sharing my life and all the ups and downs in it with the man I love and I don't know if I can keep supporting him when I feel so alone myself. I don't want to be that person who is constantly asking about the therapy, how is he feeling, etc. I want him to want to talk to me about it, share it and I think it would help to know what is going on. I am not quitting on either of us but I do want to know more about this for BOTH of us. Thanks for any words of wisdom and just typing all this out makes me feel better.
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Intellectually I know it's best for me to steer clear of this situation. How do I make that leap emotionally?View Thread
I am chronically depressed, have been this way consistently for the past 2 years or so. I'm not on any anti-depressants, and don't really know how to go about getting on any due to my situation. I do believe that I need something for depression and possibly other mental illnesses, and I'm sure a psychiatrist would agree. But, since that's not an option for me at this time, I'm trying my best to cope everyday with this debilitating illness.
The main problem I'm having now is feelings of worthlessness. I've always felt less than everyone else around me, even as a child. I've never felt important, never even new I was supposed to love myself, never new there was a such thing as respecting yourself, etc. As I grew into adulthood, I didn't look back too much, things were getting better for me, and so I just went on with life.
Later in my adulthood I started making a lot of mistakes in life, and I feel guilty about it now. It's been about 10 years, and I have been through hell and haven't come back. I attribute all of the things that have gone wrong in my life to the mistakes I've made. I look t how hard I've tried to turn my life around, and based on where my life is right now, I'm convinced things will not, cannot get better. I feel worthless. I have no friends in my life. Those that do know me and know my past, well I feel like they want to see me pay for all that I've done. No one, and I mean no one is on my side. I believe that I really am worthless. I don't even have my dad's support, and he's never been in my life even as a kid, but for some reason, no one I know seems to think that's a big issue. This just confirms my belief that I am nothing. Because I am worthless, I don't feel I deserve to go to the doctors for serious health issues I'm having. I don't feel I deserve to be happy. I feel I deserve to live how I live. I deserve all that is bad.
I know that feeling worthless is one of the symptoms of depression. But, I don't think that this is just a symptom for me. I think it is true. I know it's true. There is nothing in my life that lets me know I'm valuable, or someone. I don't even need to be special, but I always wanted to just feel like someone, like a part of this world. But I'm not, and I know I never will be.
So, since I can't end my life on my own right now, I am trying to find a way to live this way. It's so hard having to get out everyday and know that I am so worthless. I hate myself so much and it's just hard to keep going like this. I can barely stand it. I'm at the point where I am so overjoyed that life can't go on forever. To me, this means that I don't have to live like I do forever, and I can't even say how good knowing this makes me feel. Still, I have to try and find a way to survive without meds until that day comes. How do I do that without having a nervous breakdown, or stroke or worse?
I just want to see what others think before I just finally leave this mess alone.View Thread
She has major depression, borderline personality, PTSD, anorexia and panic disorder. She was admitted involuntarily in December, and taken back via Form 4 (Canadian terms) with police escort for reassessment last month.
I,m not sure where to start....View Thread
Please help me?View Thread
BBView Thread
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