I am in that same situation. I'm wondering the same. He is not helping himself at all. He lies to doctors. Each week, I place his weeks' pills in boxes. He doesn't remember to take them. He lies that he did take them. He can't function at all now. He sleeps 18 to 23 hours every day. He misses all of the day's action. He is sleeping during whatever problems arise. I solve them, but he has no opinion on anything. When he does wake up, he has a couple coffees and then falls asleep in the chair, snoring loudly. We do not do things as a couple. He doesn't bathe, do housework, or even get the mail. He literally does nothing all day and night. I don't know how he gets up to go to his part time job, but he does do that. He is too exhausted for anything else.
I'm recovering from congestive heart failure and respiratory issues (2 hospitalizations with the last two months). He does not help at all. He doesn't ask how I am. I try to do some housework, but it's too much for me. I just went back to work (part time) and I feel like that is too much on top of everything else. I am all alone in this house. I have the responsibility of the entire household on my shoulders. I'm sorry, but I have to make a choice soon. I'm not going to die, because he is depressed. He is hindering my own healing process. I can't do this any more.View Thread
Hi, My retired military husband is very depressed. He doesn't want to do anything at all. No housework, yard work, no laundry, has no friends, no hobbies. He sleeps between 10-15 hours daily. He gets up to go to his part time job and comes home to go to bed. He wakes up in time to go to work again. If he doesn't work, then he sleeps in. He is seeing a a physiacrist and is on medication. They have tried to adjust the dosages and different other meds. He took a second part time job earlier this year. I said I would help him learn the functions. That was February. It's October and he doesn't retain any knowledge at all. Each time we go into the office, I have to re-explain the entire process to him. He acts like it is completely new to him each time. He doesn't take notes and doesn't remember what I tell him. It takes him 1 1/2 hours to do a couple of steps where it would take an average person to do in ten minutes. He watches TV in his free time, shows like the Military Channel, war shows, gory horror movies and the like. I suspect that he may have a drug problem too. He is prescribed codeine for restless legs. The script is for 1 month's supply (60 tablets). The prescription will only last about 10-14 days. He marks his calendar when to call the MD for a new prescription. During this 2 week time frame at the beginning of the prescription, he is incoherrent, falls asleep while eating dinner, is confused and exhausted. When the codeine supply runs out, he is awful, rude and very snappish. After 4/5 days, he then returns back to normal. Only to start this cycle again with the new prescription. I hide whatever pain meds that my doctor prescribes me for RA pain, because I found that he was helping himself to my meds. Not only do I have RA, I am also recovering from open heart surgery. I can't pace myself or properly take care of me when he is like this. I feel like he is dragging me down. Lately, I find myself feeling overwhelmed and thinking that I am dying. I feel isolated and exhausted. I do see a therapist for myself (I have seen her for years due to chronic depression and on meds). I feel like my days never end and I don't get any help from him. I hurt not only for him, but I am afraid that I may be also heading into a depression too. What to do?View Thread
Hi itmatsb, I don't know if I can wait for significant progress from my husband's doctor. He does not tell her the truth. I just found out that he was taking medication that he was supposed to have stopped a month ago. Like I said, he does not follow directions well. I just spent the better part of an hour with him helping him set his alarm clock for a meeting tomorrow morning. Very frustrating to say the least. I truly need some me time without worrying about him. I suspected drepession symptoms for just about a year. He found a doctor and likes her. I just don't think that she knows the whole situation. The last time that he was like this, he was found waundering around a local highway. A good samaritan called the police and they brought him home. Not that he knew who he was and where he lived. The police checked his wallet for that information. An ambulance was called and off to the hospital he went. The ER doc thought that he was trying to commit suicide. My husband insisted that he wasn't. We went home and I accompanied him to the his MD. She had no idea that he was like this at all. So it's been a rocky road for a awhile.View Thread