I read your post and really feel for you. My husband has a sexual addiction. He has stopped sometimes and traded the addiction for other narcotics. It is very hard to live with someone that has an addiction. Any addiction.
But it is you that is in pain. I agree with what June said. You should look into help for you. Whether that is therapy or Al-anon or Nar-anon. Your focus should be in making your life better and pain free for you. And siting in a room with other people that share your situation is so very comforting.
Your healing begins when you make the focus not on how you can change her behavior but on how you can make your life better.View Thread
Two years ago I was hospitalized for two weeks due to my suicidal thoughts. Since then I have struggled. It seems to me that for the past two years I have been choosing not to die. But it seems different then choosing to live.
by choosing not to die it is like I keep that option open. I do not have to do this, I do not have to stay in the constent emotional pain. I can opt out of life. Every day I choose not to die.
But what would it look like if I choose to live? What do I do differently?View Thread
I know that I can't talk or force myself out of depression. But I was more talking about changing the way I look at suicide.
That is what has been on my mind. and why do I keep coming back to that. Basicly a reflection if you will while my head is in a good place (cause right now committing suicide is the last thing i want to do). but if you asked me that a month ago, yah I was there.
I was thinking if I change the way I look at it then maybe when I am really depressed (which I know will come again since I am bi-polar) that I would react differently to the depression.View Thread
In the past two years I have been doing the things that would take care of me (ie taking meds, seeing regular pdoc and tdoc, eating health, going to group support meetings). I have not been doing the activities that use to be fun and fulfilling for me. I have just started doing those again.
But I still keep death in my back pocket. The choice is still there. Which makes me think that not only is life an active choice but also there needs to be commitment to the choice. Making death no longer an option.
A commitment with an active follow through. Is there anything else that I am missing?View Thread
I recently had to spend some time in the hospital. It is not just a "blue pill" I wish that it was. No it is a lot of work also. going to DBSA meetings, seeing my tdoc twice a week. working on my issues all of them. learning to trust, open up and depend on some one else.
If you want to change you can...the pills are just part of the solution. you have to do the work to get the rest of the way. but you can get there.View Thread
My first taste of depression was when I was 16. Most of my adult life I have been hypomanic. that is until last year. 2009 for me was just one long bought of deep depression.
this year I have a good cocktail of meds that seems right now to have me in a stable place.
The best things that we are to recieve are the ones we have to work hard to achive. Stability is a really great thing. I do not think I will ever be normal but that would be so boring anyway. I will take stable.View Thread