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Reply: Help needed

There are other meds for depression that may have less of this side effect for him....

Posted by kindnesshelps

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Help needed There are other meds for depression that may have less of this side effect for him....

Reply: Bi-Polar, PTSD, DPD

Oh wow, what a heavy burden you carry. You deserve credit for having survived this...

Posted by kindnesshelps

Oh wow, what a heavy burden you carry. You deserve credit for having survived this long. I was a single parent of only 1 child and that was hard enough. I don't know if you have written here before but it is a good place to find folks who understand and can lend their encouragement and support to you.

I can relate specifically to the PTSD and depression, migraines and insomnia having endured molestation and other abuses as a child and a rape as an adult. The flashbacks and feeling out of my own body and unconnected to 'me' are such weird and frequently devastating experiences. It's like standing on the sidelines, watching me in my own nightmare only I am awake.

After years of a lot of really hard work in a number of courses of counselling, and trial and error with meds I have finally shed most of the blatant PTSD symptoms. I can still feel dissociated at times, still have night terrors, but they are mostly gone. When the depression is bad I go back to feeling like I am living with ghosts, I feel downright haunted, but when it lifts they fade away.

You don't say if you are in therapy now, but if not I encourage you to get back into it, even if you had a bad experience before. I know you know this, but you can't carry your burdens alone and the ways you learned in childhood to survive don't work now.

You don't say if you are seeing a psychiatrist now either, but if you are being treated by your family doctor or internist, I encourage you to see a shrink. If you are Bi-Polar I am surprised at the meds you are currently on.

As for the insomnia, one of the antidepressants I'm on is mirtazapine, generic for Remeron. One of it's side effects is drowsiness, and at it's max dose it nearly knocks me out so I take it at night. I can get to sleep and mostly stay asleep for at least 6 hours. If I miss a dose I don't sleep for squat.

You have me support and encouragement, and I hope you come back here to talk about what's happening with you.View Thread

Posted bykindnesshelps

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Bi-Polar, PTSD, DPD Oh wow, what a heavy burden you carry. You deserve credit for having survived this...

Reply: What has happened to me?

Hi maquan, It's such a devastating thing to endure the loss of a child. No one...

Posted by kindnesshelps

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What has happened to me? Hi maquan, It's such a devastating thing to endure the loss of a child. No one...

Reply: Gets too hard more and more often

Anneymay, your story is really familiar to me too. Oh man, it's so hard when every...

Posted by kindnesshelps

Anneymay, your story is really familiar to me too. Oh man, it's so hard when every day you have to sum up the energy to do anything, anything at all.

I started missing large chunks of time from a 'nervous breakdown' when I was 44, and have dealt with depression most of my life. I am now 58, and finally have Soc Sec disability for the past 4 years but geeze it sure doesn't go far. Poverty not only sucks, but even tho I try not to I am continually comparing myself to all my successful friends and relatives. I get so angry and resentful at myself for not being able to work, I feel embarassed and ashamed to be in this position.

I've had several spinal injuries so also live with pain every day. You are so right- depression plus chronic pain is a nasty combination.

So I too have spent a lot of time being so tired of the fight. If it wasn't for my son, I would have killed myself years ago, but I just can't do that to him. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with that, his own life is hard enough. But I have lived with the wish so long I have no fear of death and think of it as a release from this hell on earth.

But even with all that, I do have some times when getting up and taking care of myself does help me feel better, when I can push the pain and worry aside at least for a while and do something else. These days are like a gift to me, when I feel ok I appreciate it so much, like I've been given a precious gift.

Even tho you are poor as a church mouse, like Evalise I also think seeing a counsellor would be so helpful. There are low cost services available and I encourage you to check them out. You don't say whether you have done therapy before. Over the years I have done a number of courses, and each one helped so much. So it may be so difficult to find a place you can scrape up the fee for and get started, I think it might be the thing that makes the difference for you. It didn't stop the severe bouts of depression for me, but I did learn new and much better ways to manage myself, and gained a lot of insight into myself and my relationships.

And continue to visit here and write how you feel. I only joined recently, I was looking for a way to connect with people who could understand what I go through, to know I was not alone in this struggle, and to know other folks suffer as bad as I do and they still endure. So maybe I can do that. And you can too. It's such a long, hard road but it is easier when there are others who can really understand where you're at.View Thread

Posted bykindnesshelps

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Gets too hard more and more often Anneymay, your story is really familiar to me too. Oh man, it's so hard when every...

Reply: Thoughs....

Hi, and welcome to our group. I am still kind of new here myself, and I've found it...

Posted by kindnesshelps

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Thoughs.... Hi, and welcome to our group. I am still kind of new here myself, and I've found it...

Reply: i dont know what to do

Hi babygurl, it sure sounds like you are overwhelmed with so much going on. One thing...

Posted by kindnesshelps

12 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:i dont know what to do Hi babygurl, it sure sounds like you are overwhelmed with so much going on. One thing...

Reply: Changing is hard

Oh it's wonderful that you are reconnected once more to someone you feel good about....

Posted by kindnesshelps

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Changing is hard Oh it's wonderful that you are reconnected once more to someone you feel good about....

Reply: tired of waiting and fighting

I really feel for you, to me, flashbacks are one of the absolute worse things to deal...

Posted by kindnesshelps

I really feel for you, to me, flashbacks are one of the absolute worse things to deal with.

When my mom died I started having flashbacks and they were completely overwhelming, uncontrollable panic and pain, flashes of another world, another time, disjointing my mind and my life. They were purely crazy-making.

I had always had nightmares and the flashbacks were like night terrors, I was just awake. You just feel like you can't escape them anywhere, don't you? Feeling at risk, ashamed, vulnerable all the time. Triggers in unexpected places- a look or a smell, particular sounds, all of which were completely mundane to someone else but threw me into another world.

They eat up so much energy, I just felt completely washed out afterward.

Yes, a stranger in my own body. It also felt like there were strangers in my body with me, I felt surrounded by nameless ghosts that were trying to kill me, trying to take my soul away from me.

Three things helped.
I had to step up my therapy and work really hard to sort out my devils, name them and take my life back from them. It was the hardest work I've ever done in my life.

I used a relaxation technique and repeated a prayer over and over when I was trying to go to sleep and when I'd wake up in panic. It was a mantra that I used like a shield over my soul. I practived that every night for years, and still do it now- the difference is I rarely have night terrors anymore and find the routine comforting and relaxing.

And the last thing is in searching for meds that worked for me, I started taking the antidepressant mirtazapine / Remeron. It makes you sleepy so I started taking it at night. As the dose increased to the maximun you can take, I found for the first time in my life I started getting some decent sleep.

I rarely have flashbacks anymore. It does get easier over time, and it is a long, hard road. But it sure is a triumph to feel like I have taken my life back. I encourage and support you in your efforts to heal. Keep hanging in there, I know it's really hard.View Thread

Posted bykindnesshelps

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:tired of waiting and fighting I really feel for you, to me, flashbacks are one of the absolute worse things to deal...

Reply: Lost

Anon, you sound like you have a really good handle on how to manage your symptoms,...

Posted by kindnesshelps

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Lost Anon, you sound like you have a really good handle on how to manage your symptoms,...

Includes Expert Content

Reply: Creating Mental Illness?

Yes, I do know how hard it is for someone who has never had this illness to relate....

Posted by kindnesshelps

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Creating Mental Illness? Yes, I do know how hard it is for someone who has never had this illness to relate....

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