It seems to me you answered your own question with the second part of your statement. Despite the other things going on in your life, being in therapy for almost two years and not seeing any progress is bound to be disheartening. It also depends on what you are in therapy for. If it's depression, then it's actually normal to feel tired and dissatisfied with your life, no matter how many wonderful people are in it or no matter how much you have.
In my opinion, two years is too long to try a therapy and not see any change. You might be better served by a different type of therapy or just a different therapist. There are many ways of working on many problems, and there is bound to be one better suited for you.
By the way, I hear you about pieces of advice like "voice your opinion" sounding false and hollow. What if you just can't come up with something to say because you're that depressed? The depression needs to be addressed before you can use that "advice," and then you don't need the advice!
I'm glad things are going fairly well for you in some ways at least. The number one tip I have is, keep your goals small. I know you have an avalanche of work to do, or what seems like it, but if you break things up into little tiny steps you can build confidence to do more stuff. Sometimes, you'll even build momentum and end up doing more than you expected.
So if your apartment is really messy, for example, put on some of your absolute favorite music. Then pick one little thing to do and do it. If you don't feel like doing anything else, don't. But if you feel like it, do one other small thing. Do NOT start a huge project. Just pick something small. For example, maybe you decide to wipe down the bathroom mirror. Maybe then you'd decide to clean the sink next. But don't go saying "I'm going to clean the whole bathroom" because that could overwhelm you.
If you break things up into small bits, and do them here and there as you have time, you will find it's easier - and you will have more motivation to do more. It's the same with anything. I wrote a whole novel, five minutes at a time.View Thread
I can see why you are worried about your friend. Perhaps she will be able to help herself but I'm not so sure. She's isolating, and that isn't any kind of way to beat depression. She's bascially saying "I'm going to try to beat this by doing exactly what I've been doing, and by doing things that will make me more depressed, not less."
Whether she likes it or not (and she may not, while in her depression) she is a social being at heart and isolation isn't going to do anything good for her. Can you enlist the help of family or closer friends, to make sure she has people stopping by to check on her and draw her out? Also, the antidepressants may not be working well for her, as they may be treating the wrong problem or may not work well with her body. Let the doctor know how she is, maybe they will have a suggestion.
I may be different than others, but when I'm depressed I tend to want to withdraw from everyone and everything. I don't want to talk, and I just can't see the possibility of getting better. My motivation is completely drained. Honestly, the only thing that has saved me is that I have to go to work, be around people, and pretend to be cheerful all day. If I had the luxury of isolation and could afford to just be alone all the time, I would be a lot more depressed, a lot more often. Deep depression is simply a luxury I can't afford.
So it may help to simulate that with her. Keep calling, tell her you care, keep texting, get friends and family members to do the same. It is her depression talking when she's quiet. You might even save a life.View Thread
You aren't kidding about the depression transfolk can get. Especially those who are kept from proper treatment. It can be absolutely crushing to know what you really are, and have to either portray a role that isn't you, or endure all kinds of abuse at the hands of society even if can start your transition. So this is a good subject.
So your depression is back even though you are on HRT again? That can make sense, as sometimes there can be drug interactions, and those can make the hormones more or less effective. If you have health care, it might be worthwhile to try to figure out if the medicatiosn could be causing the depression, or it's more caused by events in your life.
Now, when you say the return of the dsyphoria is one side effect of the medications, I wonder about that. Gender dysphoria is normally caused by having a woman's brain structure in a man's body, or vice versa. I haven't heard of it being a side effect of medications. Either way, I hope there is some way we can help or provide support.View Thread
Hi, I noticed nobody has responded yet so I wanted to give you a reply. You've been through quite a bit of heartache and pain and I can understand the loss of hope. The really difficult part here is, nobody is going to get you out of this but you. I can understand wanting an end to pain. But do you really want an end to your life? As hard as you have it, you have two things I don't - medical care and disposable income to smoke with. Use those two advantages. You can help yourself if you really want out of this situation. Many of your medical conditions can actually be controlled or reversed with effort and dedication. I don't think you really want to die, even if you are slowly killing yourself. If you did, you'd be gone already and you wouldn't have posted here.
Since we know you really want to live, I wanted to tell you that support and advice is available if you want it. There is hope but you have to want it. I wish you the best.View Thread
Sounds rough. I've been through that too. He needs to hear, and understand, that being depressed isn't a free pass to hurt his loved ones, whether by word, attitude, or deed. If he's having that much trouble, I wouldn't say he was midly depressed. Severity of depression is guaged by how much it affects your life. If he refuses to see anyone for it, that limits your options. You will have to start setting gentle, but firm, boundaries. You may need to let him know that his problems are getting to be too much for you to deal with and either he needs to decide that he really wants to get better, rather than dabbling at it, or you want to leave.
I've been through this only I was the depressed person. What helped me? Actually, for me, it was hormone problems. Thyroid to be exact. I still have rough patches but in general it's easier for me to be polite and treat my spouse in the respectful way she deserves. So don't rule out physical causes.View Thread
Sorry you are having such a tough time. I take it you are paying for everything since he doesn't work? It will probably cause a big fight because he doesn't want to change, but you might start by refusing to buy drinks, whether alcoholic or sugary. Maybe go on a bit of a fitness kick? Refuse to have anything in the house except healthy foods and if he wants to eat he has to cook? If he whines about it, tell him "you are an adult member of this household, I work and you don't so you need to contribute by cooking or doing other work around the home."
If internet weren't such a vital form of communication, I'd say cancel the account for a while, until he can start working and pay for it himself. But I know you need it too.
My point here is he has the tools to get better but he has to want to get better. As long as he has his comfortable bubble to be in, he has no incentive to change. If you could not work and game all day, and getting better meant you had to go off and work your butt off and be an adult, would you want to change? Or would you cling to your depression like a security blanket? I'm not saying this is conscious. But I've done this and I know it happens.
Love him by not enabling him. If everything you do or say causes arguments, withdraw and stop engaging. Explain calmly that you won't put up with that treatment. Stay strong. Maybe firm limits will help him feel better than coddling will.View Thread