Yes, there is a solution to your problem. Don't worry about the monologue, I was happy to read it - it was well written and spaced out so I didn't have to strain my eyes! Thank you for that.
In case you have any doubt, depression is not a weakness. Usually it's a chemical imbalence in the brain. Sometimes it can be situational, like if you are under a lot of stress and expectations and feel as if you don't have any support. Or it can be biochemical. Your brain just makes too much or too little of one neurotransmitter or another. Or it can be a combination.
In any of these scenarios, there is a solution and hope. Your parents seem to have no clue about what depression really is, and your father's comment was particularly unhelpful. Don't let that dissuade you from doing what it takes to beat your depression. Sometimes that means counseling, because learning certain theraputic techniques and coping strategies can help immensely. Sometimes that means medication, sometimes it means a change in lifestyle, and sometimes it's more due to a lack of certain nutrients or homones. For example, I have bad depression when I'm low on thyroid hormone.
Here is a strategy to start you off: Think about getting a little more exercise than you currently do. That can really help. Make sure you eat well, and journaling or at least writing about what's going on in your head. That can really help if you have no one to talk to. It works better if you do it longhand. Possibly learn to meditate. Think about what you want in your life, and which parts of it serve those goals and which parts do not. Start easing away from the parts of your life that don't serve your goals. If you need to, look around for a counselor - I wouldn't suggest a psychiatrist at this stage, but a good counselor can really help. Whenever you have an opportunity to choose your reaction to events, do so. You have more control than you may know, and that knowledge can help empower you - which will help you feel better in itself.
Do what you can to reduce stress, that's a schoolwork killer. Get enough rest. If your parents get too overbearing, take a break. Calmly tell them that they are stressing you out, and in order to do your best job, you need a break. I know that is hard to do but remember that it's your right. You are doing a good job, you are taking care of yourself and you aren't acting like a fool.
Keep it up, I wish you the best, and I hope my suggestions help.View Thread
Letsgofishin, commercial pilots aren't allowed to take many types of medications, that's why it would endanger his career. I used to fly and so I'm pretty familliar with the medical requirements.
Flyboy, I think it's entirely possible to beat this and help yourself feel better, especially with situational anxiety and depression. But you may have to look around for another therapist, one who uses other forms of treatment. Do whatever you can to find support, even if it's just coming here. You are doing the right thing by looking for a group, however you may need to think creatively. I hope things get better for you soon.
By the way, if your wife is leaving, no wonder you are depressed! I wish you the best. I'll bump my "ways to help depression" post in case any of the ideas might help you.View Thread
That does sound like a tough situation. I think the best way to reach her might be to mention that you know life can be hard, but sometimes coping strategies make life easier. There are ways that stress (don't mention anger) can be dealt with that will help her feel better. Don't make her think it's her fault. If the idea of disease comes up, it might be helpful for her to consider that if you break a leg, there's no shame in getting it set. If you get diabetes, there's no shame in using insulin. Sometimes we have trouble with how we think too, and counselors are out there to help us think in new ways that help us deal with our problems.
If she's violent, she may be very resistent to any hint that there's anything wrong with her behavior. Tread carefully, let her know you are talking to her out of a desire to help her have an easier life, and do not threaten her or her children by mentioning consequences, legal or otherwise.
I wish I could give you a great big hug right now.
One thing you need to do as quickly as possible is stop taking responsibility for your mother and father's actions. You can't control how they are. And you don't have anything to do with whether they are happy or not.
It sounds like they are both stressed, and it sounds like your mom may have problems with depression, but you didn't do that, you didn't make that. You can support her by telling her you love her, and you could possibly even suggest that she seek help, but that's about it.
On the other hand, you don't have to feel bad or guilty because you are already doing the best you can with what you are doing. You do need a strong support system to fight. And I hope you have that. At the least, feel free to post here. You are welcome here.View Thread
It sounds like you are going through a really tough, stressful time right now and you have my sympathy. So thank you for reaching out! That can help, all on it's own. This forum is more set up for general depression, which can definitely be a part of self harm. As a friendly reminder, we usually appreciate it if you put a trigger warning at the top of any posts containing potentially disturbing imagery.
If you would like to post to the self harm forum, here's the link. It's a little hard to find, so I thought you might like it.
Welcome, it's good to have you here. I think your parents see their behavior as "encouragement." Unfortunately, they may be very difficult to convince that what they are doing is really hurting you and it's completely wrong.
You need encouragement, you need support, and you need people to reflect back what's beautiful about you so you can see it. You have passiosn and interests, they just don't happen to align with what they want. That's really hard to deal with.
I'm not sure what to advise here, except that talking about this and journaling about this is good. Never forget that you are a worthwhile human being, deserving of being treated with dignity and respect. Let your boyfriend help you if he wants to. Part of depression is feeling like a burden.
You aren't a burden. You may want to consider striking out on your own and getting as far away from your parents as you can. I know that can be really hard to do though so only you will know what's best. Please keep coming back, you will find people who understand and support you.
Those are some interesting points you make. I do agree that people shouldn't go around diagnosing others unless they have training. Similarly, I get really tired of people judging others when they don't know the full situation!
I have a friend. People constantly call her lazy and judge her because she's young, and looks healthy, but she walks slowly and sometimes needs a motorized cart in the grocery store. But she has rheumatoid arthritis, which people can't see. So people shouldn't judge unless they know all the facts. Same with depression.
Agreed also that people need to understand that men get depressed too. And everbody's different. It affects people in different ways. I don't think depression is the sole factor that causes someone to do bad things, same as you, but I could see how it could be a contributing factor - especially if the person who is depressed is so unsupported that they don't see a way out.View Thread
Sorry we missed this post, and welcome to the group! I'm sorry you are having a relapse, but that's a great attitude you have. You are absolutely right, you aren't alone. If you want some other possible ideas or tips on helping your depression, here's a thread about it: