I'm really struggling right now and thought it might help to just write it down. I've got some legal problems right now, and my logical brain knows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just can't help but feeling trapped and taken advantage of. I've had crazy thoughts of I would love to just beat the snot out of the person who intigated all of this, to wondering if things would be better if I just drove my car off the cliff. I can't afford to go see a counselor right now, and the local "pay what you can clinic" is not an option. I have serious concerns about their ability to maintain confidentiaitly.
I feel myself getting paranoid, and questioning everyone's motivation. I used to be such a trusting person, and because of this I think that is part of my legal problems. I've allowed myself to be taken advantage of, and I think I also have some impulse control issues. I feel lost. I really want to take tonight and tomorrow to not think about anything negative, but how do I get the thoughts out? I have a son in college who I am so proud of I could just bust, he has turned into everything I hoped he could be. I'm ashamed of myself for my thoughts and feelings and don't want to burden him with my problems. My family is somewhat estranged so I don't feel like I have them to reach out to, and my closest friend suffers from major anxity disorder and I don't want to be the cause of her having another episode.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to get the thoughts out? I need to sleep but can't do it unless I take a pill and I don't want to become dependent on it.
Thanks for letting me get it out, I'm crying as I finish writing this and it may not make alot of sense to anyone... but thanks none the less. Maybe a good cry will help...View Thread
I just wanted to come back on and say Thank You everyone. I'm still struggling some, but have a little better perspective. I'm hoping that the weekend will not be a step backwards. Spending too much time by myself is not a good thing... but I've got some projects at home I want to work on so I hope that will help. Thanks again, I'll be back often as the support has really helped.View Thread
@toniDen you are right there really is no best way... just been looking for ways to go that someone doesn't have to clean up a big mess and that will be effective. Someone told me that people think about suicide when their coping skills are all used up. When you are at your breaking point. I'm at mine... I've leaned on friends and try to remember that my son in the end will pay the biggest price for me leaving. I just don't know how much more I can handle... I'm trying to be strong and work through my issues right now.View Thread
I'm having a rough time also... I can't see a better way right now. If I'm not here the problems go away and everyone around me will not have to deal with all of it. I'm the source of the problem... I've researched the best ways to go... if it were not for my son, I would have done it already...View Thread
Oh My... you do have a lot going on also. If I can stay distracted and know that people depend on me I can make it. Here lately I can sit in front of the TV for hours, and honestly I could not tell you what I've watched. I have to be really schedule minded or I lose focus.
Hang in there also and keep us posted. You have friends here... and its a safe place.
I'm going to try writing my feelings down and see if this helps me... maybe at least I can string some rational thoughts together.View Thread
Thanks for responding... if I can keep myself distracted I'm okay. I've battled issues before, but I just can't seem to pull myself together now. I will try writing them down... I had never thought of doing that and that might help...View Thread
Hey newbie, glad you reached out. I'm inconsistant on this board, but I think that I need to become a little more frequent right now. Got some issues going on myself...
I had a lot of success with a talk therpists a few years ago, really helped me to put things into perspective and I learned some coping skills. My employment status has changed in the last year and paying for her services are why I can't continue right now, so I'm hoping the community support will help me get through this rough patch. I would suggest asking a friend or trusted co-worker if they know of a good person for you to talk to. Everyone goes through times where they need someone, so if they don't know personally they may have a family member who had a successful experience and can give you a good name. When you meet with the person for the first time, this first session is as much about them as it is about you. Make sure you feel comfortable and relaxed (sometimes this may not happen until the 2nd or 3rd appointment though). So allow yourself a chance to get to know them... I had more success with a female, which actually surprised me as I usually bond with men first.
Hang in there... I wonder if I need to be tested for ADD... I've been rambling also. ***Hugs***View Thread
I'm strugging with large bouts of frustration and have been lashing out. I work alot, and have been under a lot of pressure for the last 18 months or so. I'm not sleeping well, and just having a hard time dealing with issues that should not be that big of deal. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get through this. I don't want to jepordize my job, and this is crepping in to too frequently.View Thread