No sleep. Last night I took my regular meds and a few more, and I was up and down every hour. I can't get more meds until Thursday for sleep. I don't know what I am going to do for the next 3 days.View Thread
I have been on both sides. I hope that you get what you need to deal with your depression and past triggers but I don't think you should share your health with your employer, and they have no right to ask. I hope you find the strength to get out of bed and make small steps to feeling happy again.View Thread
I know what you are feeling. I'm feeling that way too. Unfortunately, its been too long. I have severe depression, and it was ignored for years dating back to my teens. I have created four walls around me;friends,family,career and spiritual. All of these things except career has suffered. I wear the masks to get me through my daily operations. But when it comes down to me and the world, me and my home, me and my relationships with people i fall flat on my face. I have programmed myself not to trust anyone to the point where outside of work I don't like going out; always afraid of what others think. But I will tell you, what has helped me over the last 5 years is therapy and medication. I was in denial for so long, I wonder if I or the people around me had accepted this when I was younger, whether I could be half normal by now. I have had several family members pass away over the last 4 years that I have also entered into grief therapy. In four years I have lost(in order of death) grandmother, mother, husband and aunt. I don't know how I am able to walk straight, and listen to others say "You're so Strong". My therapist has been so patient with me. I did change therapist, my initial therapist was a wrong fit for me, and i guess it was worth it because my therapist and I are in a good place, or least I think so. going to therapy has given me that safe place to share my anxieties, insecurities and self-doublt. I hope my short story has helped you, and I hope we can go back and forth. Entering this forum is a good start, I come and go frequently, and never seem to make connections, maybe that will change soon I hope.View Thread
I knew the holidays were going to be rough. The day before Christmas was the worse. Now two days after I feel a little better, but I'm still not where I need to be. I have created an empty world. I'm afraid to let anyone in. No judgements are better, but now I feel isolated. It feels like no one wants to talk to me or be in my presence. I wonder what part I played in this. I want a bff. No one wants the job. I don't know what to do.View Thread
I thought that she would see my uneasiness and call me. i don't want to call her because at this point i don't think she cares. i was hopeful that i would have a good experience but i have enough beating me up in life i don't need another group to do the same. All depressed people don't go the hospital because of suicide attempts or manic episodes, I'm one of those people. If my sharing has given the idea that i need an outpatient programs, then they really don't know meView Thread
I wish that people would understand that depression is a lonely place. People that are depressed go inside caves and sometimes they don't want to be found. Other times they just want to hear, i see you're hurting and i just want you to know that i care. People that are depressed don't want to hear "What's Wrong" or "How are You Feeling" because we really don't think you care. Actions mean more than words to a depressed person. Don't push, just give us a exit path out of our cave and when we are comfortable we will come out.View Thread
Thank you for your response. people have told me that i always look serious. but its hard. your advice seems doable, but i always feel like people are staring at me that why i tense up when i get around other people. i think the side conversations are about me. how do i stop thisView Thread
I received two really good recommendations for support groups from these blogs, so I thank you for the encouragement. I feel better today. i had a support group meeting today, it felt good to unwind. the pain is a little more bearable today. I'm going to start posting every night, and hopefully i will make more contacts.View Thread
needed to hear that, i have a problem moving from what i hear to what i believe. life is so hard. somedays i don't know how i get out of the bed. it feels like i'm the 52nd state, the one no one knew came into the union. i'm finding myself posting just to exhale some of these crazy thoughts. i feel so alone, it hurts so bad.View Thread
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