As i go along my roller coaster ride called life, i wonder who do i talk to when there's no one around? when my thinking is in another atmosphere, but i'm not suicidal? who do i tell my good feelings to when everyone seems busy? how many naps do i need to take to avoid having a conversation? how many journal entries do i write before i realize there's no one to read them? how do i handle my thoughts between group and individual therapy sessions? where do i go when there's no invitation, who do i turn to when no one wants to face me? how can i share when i trust no one? the loneliness never goes away. sometimes happy moments will come and go, but they never stay for long stretches. who do i bother, when no one bothers me. View Thread
I had a good week. I'm not getting absorb by things around me. This has helped me control my emotions. I have to make up my mind about nthe vacation, you are right about not stressing about an elaborate vacation. I can check irnto a fancy hotel for a few days. I haven't been over emotionally lately. I think my meds are finally starting to have an effect on my moods.. Which are better, but I need to be careful not to disconnect with feelings, mine and my families. One day at a time. I have some old wounds I've decided not to address at this time. I just to build my confidence and begin to make my own decisions. I want to not think everyone's always talking about me, I want to not think that I don't matter, I have so far to go. But I know I have made great strides. I'm ballad you're having fun. And I hope you continue your good relationship with your boyfriendView Thread
No. No biggie this weekend, I am not having a good day. I am disappointed because I had a good week. I want to go on vacation,but I want to go alone, At first I was so excited, but now my guilt level is high. Probably because I expressed it today, prior to now, It was private thoughts. But now my children and husband know. I go to the doctor this week. I feel so out of it, it's like I don't know my purpose right now. One of my daughters is being even mooches than I am, my other daughter thinks the world revolves around her, and my husband is a nag. This nagging has pushed me totally away from him. I don't even want to be home. He's not meeting his financial obligations, and he constantly finds fault in what my daughters and I do. I can't catch a freaking break. I need to pull myself together so that o can have a good work week. My meds have decreased my appetite as well, I seldom haves full meal. I didn't have any food today. But I have over indulged I. Sweets. Candy, gum and ice-cream. My waist is expanded with the sweet desires. I don't have any sleep pills for tonite, kneed a refill. I hope I can get a few hours of sleep, so that I'm no too cranky tomorrow. I hope you have a great week and I hope mussel gets better.View Thread
I'm glad to hear from you, I thought you maybe just dropped the discussion group. It's good to hear that you have been rolling out of bed easier, that hasn't been my success. I have been missing time from work because I just can't face the day. My therapist gave me some really good ideas for coping and finding happiness. Just as a coincidence, I was looking to see when my next dr. Appt was. It's in two weeks, I feel the same way you do. I want to have a noticeable difference on meds. Some days I have joy and some days I want to die. I just want consistency with whatever mood I'm going to have. At least you have let others in your world to get more support. I'm still struggling with that. Ashamed, embarrassed and anxious about anyone knowing that I take meds or see a psychiatrist and a therapist. I keep a journal, yesterday was my last page in that book. I skimmed through it, normally I never loopback into my words. Whatever I write, it's that days thoughts so I never loopback, but yesterday I did, and I saw how much I improved, but there is so many pages to write and so many obstacles to overcome. Tonite I start a new book. Who knows what the last page will look like.