This isn't something you just get over. Ignore what they say, or tell them how you feel. You need to go through GRIEF counseling. You will learn a lot about getting through this GRIEF. Good Luck.View Thread
My Father died in 1998 on my 35th birthday a very respected man. I can't go on my birthday as that is the da I burried him. But I will take the 2 hour trip and leave flowers in front of his name. It is very hard for me to go to the cemetary as I'm not religious and I know he has gone no place except under the ground. I never say anything. I just run my hand across his name. A beautiful poem was chosen for him at his funeral. I still have that poem and read it everytime I think of him.
My husband is home from his trip to Montana. It's made me feel a little better. I sit and wish I had a friend to confide in. Friends are important but I never had any because I'm not a drinker or a drug addictic or a smoker. I don't like to go to Bars so that puts me in the dark.
I think a lot that has me down is that I have a lot of medical issues going on all at the same time. I have a bone in my foot that sticks out. My left knee has had surgery 4 times on it and there is nothing they can do to take the pain away without a knee replacement and they won't do it because I'm 51 and they want me to be at least 60 so I suffer in severe pain. My right knee is giving me problems. My lower back is giving me problems and I have had 2 back surgeries already but I think the pain is from limpin with my knee. I have been suffering chest pain for 6 years. My heart is fine. Nobody knows where the pain is coming from. That I will suffer from until I die. A tumor was found in my right lung but they say it's not big enough to do anything yet. They will do another cat scan in a year. And on Monday I have some minor surgery to check on the reason for some other pain.
My depression puts me in great pain to add to all of it. If only I had a friend to talk to. I had a break through at my last therapy session. My ECT's I've had have taken a lot of my memory, But I had a breakthgough about something that I tucked away for 33 years. I have never told anybody of this tragedy but told my therapist for the 1st time. It's something that I now have to work on getting through and putting behind me. I don't know how long it will take. It has my mind working every minute of the day just wondering how I could have tucked it away for so long and now how do I deal with it.
I've deceided not to do ECT. They are still looking into the insurance company to see if I can have MTS.
My heart aches but there has to be a friend out there someplace. BBView Thread
My new drugs have kicked in not that they did anything. I'm still feeling down and out. I wish I could figure out how to release my emotions. I keep everything in and that is because when I was a child and abuse was happening to me and I tried to tell I was told to shut up or go play. So I have that wall up protecting myself.View Thread
I find no joy in Hobbies. I have no memory of my childhood except the bad parts. My therapist is always trying to get me to paint but I have no skills and no desire.The only hobbie that I was good at was sports in HighSchool. But I have to much arthritis in my body to do that now. I joined the Y but I feel so alone and by myself when I go there.View Thread
I'm 51. My life to this point hasn't been ok either. I keep relieving my past. My husband and I also own property in Montana and I have to get better now as I will have even less friends and get more depressed. I have no hobbies, I don't want the rest of my life to be unhappy but I don't know how to change it. I know how to beat mine and that is with ECT but I don't want to go into the hospital. But ECT will snap me out of my depression. My last ECT last 10 years with my little ups and downs,. I hear where your coming from.View Thread
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