But what do you do in my situation. Do I suffer through more time and hope the depression breaks or do I give in and go into the hospital for ECT. I've had over 50 ECT treatments over a period of 4 years and I have been doing good except my ups and downs. I do know that ECT was my life savor in the past. I'm just have no energy and I'm just so tired of fighting.View Thread
My insurance won't pay for the TMS at 11.000.00. They say it's still to experimental.
I can go into the hospital for ECT and that has done wonders in the past but I'm afraid to go. The last 4 times I went I felt so alone that I did nothing but cry. The last 4 times I did it they also didn't have any therapy or counseling sessions. All I had was arts and crafts. Couldn't watch the TV they had. You basically had to keep yourself busy. I would be so far away that my husband wouldn't be able to visit me during the week so I would have to wait for a Saturday or Sunday.
But all and all I need to get better. I have been feeling this way for 3 weeks. I have trouble eating or drinking because I'm just so upset. My family doesn't deserve a mother that can cope.
My daughter doesn't want to know anything about it and she is 29. My son doesn't understand it but loves me to death. My husband just wants me better no matter what I have to do.
I think if I had friends to talk to I would be able to feel better sooner but I litterly have no friends. Never have back to High School. I hold all my emotions in and can't release them. I was raised that way. I was always told not to cry or I would get in trouble. When I asked for help because of my abuse it was brushed aside and was told I was fine go play. I was not taught how to grow up in life. I learned it on my own and as I went along. Even though I worked through my past and was better for some reason it has all come back to me.
Do I go into the hospital for ECT or try and get through it.View Thread
They just put me on these drugs. They haven't kicked in yet. Yes I went to NAMI last night I was not impressed with it, but I'll give it another month. I listened to more people coming for other people then themselves. I was there for myself and nobody talked to me. I know I was new.
I feel very alone because I keep my feelings and emotions to myself. I see my therapist once a week at 170.00 a pop but it's worth it. And all I have to do is make a phone call and she will get me right in.
I contacted my husband is yes he is 5000 miles away but he said he would turn right around and come home if I needed him. I told him I promise to keep my feet on the floor but that doesn't hurt my hurting heart. For some reason this time with the depression I am going back to my abusive childhood and just keep wondering why me. I asked for help and got none but that was 40 years ago. I've considered ECT which I have had great results with except it takes my memory or TMS. But I just can't afford TMS it cost 11,000.00 for 6 weeks in 3 installments. I'm on disability I can't afford that. I'd rather do the ECT stay in the hospial for a few weeks and have the insurance pay. I went to a NAMI meeting last night and I wasn't impressed. Thanks for caring I need friends to talk to.View Thread
I'd call a hotline if I new they wouldn't call the police. That's when we make drastic decisions is when were down. I won't go to the ER as they will keep me and my husband is out of town for 3 weeks and I have to take care of his business. I don't have any energy left to stay on this earth. With all the therapy sessions I go to cost him 170.00 each time. I'm only a burdon. If I don't sleep tonight I swear I'm taking another medicine to sleep and if I dont' wake out I went out without any pain.View Thread
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