
tired
So much confusion...i'm tired of feeling utterly worthless. Reminders everyday all around...
Posted by onlysis
So much confusion...i'm tired of feeling utterly worthless. Reminders everyday all around me....struggling to find any good in me. Yes I've been here before...yes on meds.....yes to seeing drs....so don't blow me anything about getting help there.....my last therapist gave up on me so how do you even begin to move forward.....and I have been to many. So tired anymore I find it harder each day to not hide from the world. What's the point in going out or talking when they really don't hear what we are trying to explain they all judge.....everyone judges......i'm tiredView Thread
Posted byonlysis
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Reply: tired
Pain doesn't even begin to explain the feeling swirling through me. To answer your question...
Posted by onlysis
Pain doesn't even begin to explain the feeling swirling through me. To answer your question I have not went back to counseling why bother...they all have abandoned me and I have been to a lot of different ones each with there own approach to depression. Sometimes you just realize when you are no longer worth anyones trouble...that's just a fact I don't want sympathy. Deasertrose I know you aren't cold and sometimes we don't know what to say but you at least let me know you took the time to respond and reach out to me. Thank you.
I can't say I'm doing better but after so many years I guess we just remain on auto pilot and go about our work day. I've become so numb to all the negative in my day...I just don't care about much these days. I don't come here often post so don't worry about me...I survived over 30 years now with this and no one cared then and I really don't need anyone to start now.
The judgement....who needs it??? I'm just tired these days and the sun is going away for the season...what more reason to crawl under the covers.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
I can't say I'm doing better but after so many years I guess we just remain on auto pilot and go about our work day. I've become so numb to all the negative in my day...I just don't care about much these days. I don't come here often post so don't worry about me...I survived over 30 years now with this and no one cared then and I really don't need anyone to start now.
The judgement....who needs it??? I'm just tired these days and the sun is going away for the season...what more reason to crawl under the covers.View Thread
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Reply: Prozac
That is the one I started on. Give it a chance it took almost 4 weeks for me to feel it...
Posted by onlysis
That is the one I started on. Give it a chance it took almost 4 weeks for me to feel it just don't give up it worked for me in the beginning.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
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Reply: just giving up
I feel the same today. Just one minute at a time this is how we will get through this.
Posted by onlysis
I feel the same today. Just one minute at a time this is how we will get through this.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
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.......not a good day
I wanna scream I wanna yell I wanna run I wanna cry I wanna hide....I could just die Once...
Posted by onlysis
I wanna scream
I wanna yell
I wanna run
I wanna cry
I wanna hide....I could just die
Once again I will keep this all inside.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
I wanna yell
I wanna run
I wanna cry
I wanna hide....I could just die
Once again I will keep this all inside.View Thread
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Reply: Just Reality
I'm holding my own. I'm not taking any real pain meds just aleve. I figure I deserve to...
Posted by onlysis
I'm holding my own. I'm not taking any real pain meds just aleve. I figure I deserve to feel the pain and suffer. Taking it easy as much as I can but with a six year old there are things that have to be done. Very worried my depression will come back full force with me not being able to do much so I'm trying to stay busy so as to not let my mind think of how useless I really am now. It's only Tuesday and I'm ready to call it a week. How's your week?View Thread
Posted byonlysis
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Reply: What do you do when you know you can't be a good m...
I'm here to listen. I also have my doubts about my parenting ability but those days when my...
Posted by onlysis
I'm here to listen. I also have my doubts about my parenting ability but those days when my son says mom I love you it makes it worth it. How long have you tried staying with one medication? I'm also on medication for panic/anxiety and needs to be taken "as needed" maybe this is something you could also try if you have a hard time staying or remembering to take your meds. When I get to feeling frustrated this helps bring a calmness to me. Your kids will never be better off without their mother, even though you may not think you do anything with them you do many little things in the background for them. Have you tried journal writing, sometimes when you want to scream you can write to get it out?View Thread
Posted byonlysis
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Reply: Just Reality
I hope you had a good labor day weekend. I'm just getting back from the horse show and then...
Posted by onlysis
I hope you had a good labor day weekend. I'm just getting back from the horse show and then left right away for work to a week long conference. My emotions are all over the place and to top it off I broke my rib over labor day when I fell off a horse. I love horses and my niece and I had a blast even though I did get injured this time, my son even got a first place. I had to then leave by myself for work. While I was scared to take that adventure by myself I did survive and am back home now. Now that I have time to slow down I can't help but feel useless especially with my current injury. I'm just want to quit feeling so alone and keep facing all my challenges alone. I'm sure I will have many struggles in the week to come. A flower that's petals are slowly falling away.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
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Reply: Just Reality
Crazy lonely me I don't know what I was thinking. I still do take meds just not for...
Posted by onlysis
Crazy lonely me I don't know what I was thinking. I still do take meds just not for depression. My panic attacks were getting so bad that I have to take meds for them. They have worked the best for me even in dealing with the depression. All the other meds I tried while working with a pychristriat did not work for me in the long run. We tried many giving each new pill it's time to work, I just never did feel "right" on any of them. I will be out of town this weekend, famliy event, every time I do this I get more down. I feel my family never really cares about me. I just hope this time it is different and I can hold my head up high. My son enjoys the camping trip and to him he knows not of the struggles I will endear to see his smile each day. I'm still fighting the battle for another day.
As I also feel we have a common bond with our sons I will also be here for you.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
As I also feel we have a common bond with our sons I will also be here for you.View Thread
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Reply: Just Reality
I'm holding my own. Work has been crazy as it seems to be that way lately to em. Everyone...
Posted by onlysis
I'm holding my own. Work has been crazy as it seems to be that way lately to em. Everyone runs to me for there problems-I'm just the little peanut in the big circus I'm not the boss, I guess it's casue I get the results I don't know. Anyways let me clarify I have officialy been diagnosed w/ depression 3 years ago. About 15 years I think-I didn't feel wanted or happy I went to a therapist who really did me wrong I was told to get over myself, I just wanted people to feel sorry for me. I am so tired of feeling I'm being judged. Since then I have fought this battle myself-I can't say I really trust anyone wholely Even my current therapist tells me that the "wall" I have built is pretty thick, it is my defese to proctect myself from the world. It is my choice also not to let many people in. Coming from a divorced family I was 5 when it happend and "tossed" aside. Then around 6 I was raped. I'm not sure I know what love is. I try to give my son what think I know but sometimes I think I do more harm than good as I'm so withdrawn. This is the first place I have let more out than ever. Just typing those words make me want to throw up all over again. I'm tired of being judged and it seems everyone does not matter what. I too also choose not to let many people in, ya I have aquaintences but not many friends. I'm really glad you have taken the time to listen and show concern-thank you. It has helped me get through this week a little easier knowing someone also has been there and still going. I gotta run it's time for work.View Thread
Posted byonlysis
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