I would not give up trying. Keep trying any new anti-depressants as well as combinations of medications. I hope that you have seen a good psychiatrist, instead of just a regular doctor. I was depressed for 25 years and then was helped by light treatment even though I was depressed year round. It took at full month to finally take effect. And what about ECT? It's not the nightmare that it used to be. Wouldn't it be worth it to have a happier life? Only you can answer that after looking into it. I sincerely wish you the best. Being depressed is not a good way to live.View Thread
It sounds like YOU need therapy to sort out what your role is and how to set boundaries on the situation which may include divorce. Your understandable reactions to your husband are very destructive. When you say that "my whole life has been taken over by his problems" and that you are blank, intensely bored and fed up", it sounds like you have to make a major change. I'm hoping that you can get some new insights on your situation.View Thread
You are amazed because you don't understand the great negativity that many ignorant people have about depression. They can be very critical of you. Hardly a way to get the support that you are looking for. Of course you can tell close friends and family about your depression, who may or may not understand.
Just know that if you publicly post about your depression on Facebook, many are going to judge you very negatively, especially if they are not close friends. And once it is in the public domain, it is there forever. Potential employers can find it and will likely discriminate against you. If you are looking for support, you are better off to post on here for support where there are many of us who do understand about depression.View Thread
Alissimo, I am the first one to suggest that spouses set boundaries and insist that their spouses do everything to treat their depression, but your statements sound selfish and irresponsible--just leave them without any assistance to help them get treated. Many people with depression do have chemical imbalances that need anti-depressants which do help millions of people--far from the miniscule percentage of people that you say. I hope that you never suffer from depression and are with someone with your viewpoints. And I would wonder whether your spouse dumped you due to your depression or because of your personality. And I hope that you will find more compassion for your daughters if they ever become depressed.View Thread
First of all, get the guns out of your home. They are too much of a hazard to you. You say that you haven't supported your wife financially, yet you say that you have luxury cars and a good home. So how much is your wife suffering from your business not taking off the way that you would like it to? It doesn't sound like the business gives you any joy though when you say that you have lost your motivation to excel. Perhaps you should try working at something else. And it is entirely possible for you to support your wife emotionally more if you want her to stay supporting you emotionally which you say that you don't think that you can cope without her. Another thing that I think is very important is for you to reach out to others to have some emotional support from friends. You shouldn't have everything in your psychological survival wrapped up with just one person. Lastly, see your doctor and tell them that you are still having depression, are deathly afraid of losing your wife--literally, consider suicide sometimes, etc. Your doctor, hopefully a psychiatrist, can better help you. I too have suffered far worse depression than you describe. Finding the right medication did finally treat it. Wish you the best.View Thread
I would take it seriously. Many people who commit suicide have voiced the idea to others ahead of time. People don't take it seriously and they do it. Ask him if he meant it and if not, why did he post it. I would tell him that you are very concerned and that he must see a doctor about it ASAP. How are you going to feel if he does in fact kill himself? The other option would be to have him committed, but I know that you are too afraid of losing him to do that. What a bad situation.View Thread
You reference the past, but what are you talking about currently? There is a huge success rate with anti-depressants helping depression. Yes, therapy is also promoted by psychiatrists. If you know what other treatments are better than drugs and therapy for depression and other mental illnesses, why don't you enlighten us? Your vague criticisms don't amount to anything concrete.View Thread
It sounds like you need to still find the right anti-depressant and perhaps an anti-anxiety medication as well. You don't say what your PTSD was from, but otherwise you have the usual events in one's life--parents dying, an accident which you were very fortunate not to be hurt at all, and a relationship that didn't work out. But you did have a new relationship at your age which is a miracle in itself. And to still have had a design business at your age is also a great thing. Many people are retired at your age. There's no reason why you can't keep at your design business. You sold the family home which is too bad, but you must have gotten a fair sum for it. Many at your age are very poor, especially those with severe medical problems. As far as your daughter-in-law, you just have to put boundaries up and stop the communication with someone who is destructive to you.
Yes as we get older, many of us have significant medical problems. It sounds like with only your foot not working well, that is not a lot to deal with at your age. In many ways you are very fortunate.
I had a major stroke at age 56 and am now 60 years old. I am barely able to function due the stroke causing me 24/7 migraines. I have a lot of other major medical problems. My mother died over a year ago. I had to visit her almost every day for 2 years while she was in hospice even though I could barely function. Then I was the executor of her estate also. Yes, it was a lot of work. Perhaps you are not able to count your blessings right now due to a chemical depression, but if you can get that treated, then perhaps you will see how much you have to be grateful for. That's the position that I have finally come to, but with the help of an anti-depressant. Before that I was nearly suicidal at having no life and being in severe pain almost every day. Also I had to take Klonopin (an anti-anxiety med) for a condition caused by my stroke of involuntary jerking called myoclonus. I hadn't realized how my constant low level anxiety with flares of major anxiety were hurting me. Due to my pain, I cannot travel for more than 1.5 hours away. I can go out socially very seldom. I can barely do any errands other than to get all my meds, get groceries and go to many medical appointments. But I could be so much worse. I can talk, eat, and walk, which I very nearly would not have been able to with the stroke that I had.. I'm still in a lot of pain and am currently looking at 2 surgeries.
I think that your main problem is the depression and anxiety. Perhaps you could move either closer to your close friend or closer to your family. What is stopping you, except your depression and anxiety which is sapping your energy. It doesn't sound like the therapy has helped you at all which implies that you have a chemical imbalance and need the right anti-depressant. I do wish you the best with getting those treated.View Thread
It does sound like your depression is probably a chemical imbalance as you suspect. That being the case, I wonder why you have only tried several meds? Are you seeing a good psychiatrist who can also add other meds together to try to help your depression? With you being a psychologist you must know that therapy is not going to help you. My later psychiatrist wasn't into talking much, but trying to treat my depression and asked about my side effects from the meds. If you go to a psychiatrist from a different institution, they can't see your previous medical records of a past diagnosis to label you for life. And if you have tried all the meds, what about light treatment or ECT? Wouldn't it be worth it to find happiness instead of your depression? I had tried every anti-depressant at the time, including an MAO Inhibitor which made me the happiest I had ever been in my life--too happy at times. But due to a bad side effect, I couldn't continue it. I was about to try ECT when my newer psychiatrist diagnosed a sleep disorder which he felt light treatment could help. It did work. And I had been suicidal for years. This was before all the newer anti-depressants were on the market--about 25 to 30 years ago. Then Effexor helped me, but only at a higher dose. I would encourage you to try everything to treat your depression. Good luck.View Thread