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Reply: Fighting a losing battle

I can relate...that happened to me in the past. Just after my divorce i was...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Fighting a losing battle I can relate...that happened to me in the past. Just after my divorce i was...

Reply: Fighting a losing battle

Hard to Love, Glad you decided to over come that fear and open up, that alone...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Fighting a losing battle Hard to Love, Glad you decided to over come that fear and open up, that alone...

Reply: reverse

Anon, I am terribly sorry for your loses, dealing with those two events alone...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:reverse Anon, I am terribly sorry for your loses, dealing with those two events alone...

Reply: Rage/anger

Von, I can totally relate to what you are going thru. I would do the same sort...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

Von,

I can totally relate to what you are going thru. I would do the same sort of things, get angry and rage out and like yourself, the only thing that helped keep me alive was my family. I couldnt bear the thought of hurting them. I work 40 hours a week at a job that is well beneath my education and the training i have recieved. I too live at home, it was my only option after i got divorced. I too was bullied, as i have gotten older that has some what stopped because of the people i choose to be around. If your anything like i was, your family is probably your greatest support system and they think the world of you, mine is/was the same way. Problem was, i did see any of the potential that they said i had...to this day i still dont, but i am working on getting better. I dont know if you ever tried therapy, but it is a great way to get that rage/anger off of your chest and begin to disect why you feel that way. I was in therapy twice before the latest time where i just said...forget it, im going to not hold anything back and be an open book with my therapist. Is it easy? hell no, but what in our lives has been? I picked up book about shame, which ultimately was my crutch. Its called "healing the shame that binds you" its a great book with a lot of wonderful insight, that has helped me realize that everything that went wrong in my life was not 100% my fault. It helped me gain a new outlook on life and it helped me realize that i do need help. I am fairly early on in my therapy sessions but there are some great points that i have gotten and i always feel better the next few days afterwards.

I just want you to know that you are not alone, there are many of people out there, just like you and i. Many of them have beaten this disease and have gone on to live a wonderful fulfilling life, I plan on being one of them. I hope you decide to join us and take back your life and live the life that makes you happy and smile. Because at the end of the day, we are the only ones who can control our happiness.

You posted stumbled upon a great group and even better people who post and whom have gone thru similar battles.

I wish you the best of luck!

ICView Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Rage/anger Von, I can totally relate to what you are going thru. I would do the same sort...

Reply: adult son hates me

daberry, I have been battling depression for most of my life and I am around...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

daberry,

I have been battling depression for most of my life and I am around the same as your son. Obviously everyone handles their depression differently, but maybe I could help shed some light

A little over 6 months ago, I put myself in a similar situation as your son...posting a message on facebook about how depressed i was and illuding to the fact of suicide. I honestly had no intentions of offing myself, I think I did it just for a reaction, to know that someone cared. About 30 minutes after my post which came at about 3am, i got a knock on the door and it was the police. We talked for a few moments i assured them that i was not going to harm myself. I took the message down and spoke with my family to reassure them i wasnt going to cause myself any harm. In doing so I caused them great worry and they called a crisis team to come talk to me. I was not happy about meeting with these people at all, i didnt think i needed it. a few months later i was in a dark place and expressed feelings of not wanting to live. Enter the crisis team again...and again i was not happy to see them. I did not lash out, i met with them to apease them and to get them out of my hair asap. I dont know if your son has been in therapy before? I have had a couple tries at it and the last therapist started to make some headway...I started to discover that a lot of my issues where from childhood. please understand that i came from a very loving household and was never abused or anything like that as a child. I had two wonderful parents who love me very much, sadly almost to a fault. I do love them and always will, but as i am going thru therapy again there is a bit of resentment towards them. But i know that as i heal, so will the relationship with them. The hardest part for me is that they had no idea that they were causing this sort of emotional damage...and why would they? They loved me unconditionally, whats the harm in that?

Its obvious that you love your son very much and you are willing to do what ever it takes to get him help, that hardest part is that even though we may know we need help, we dont want to admit it to ourselves. Making that call to a therapist isnt the easiest thing to do. Even when i admitted i needed help, i had someone else make the call for me, just knowing that i wouldnt have done it.

Its understandable why your son is upset, but you didnt do anything wrong, you did what a loving parent would do. He made the situation worse by acting out, is he still in the mental health facility? As for why is he "punishing" you this way, well only he could answer that. But as the saying goes, you always hurt the ones you love. He could be acting out towards you because he knows you will keep trying and keep showing him more affection. Which would feed his ego, but it also gives him a sense of control, he knows that if he lashes out, he has some type of control over you.

As I said before, each person handles this disease differently and this is just my two cents. As for any suggestions I would continue to stand by him. Is there someone that he is close to that he would listen to with out lashing out? If there is, id approach them about possibly talking with him about getting into therapy. He will just meet you with resistance and angst.

I wish you both the best!

ICView Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:adult son hates me daberry, I have been battling depression for most of my life and I am around...

Reply: Depression off set by traumatic memories

247640 Im sorry to hear abuot your friend, traumatic memories are a very evil...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

247640

Im sorry to hear abuot your friend, traumatic memories are a very evil thing. I can relate somewhat to your friend. Are they seeking help from a therapist? The biggest thing you can do is to face those memories and confront them, having a trained professional there will help you deal with those emotions. Odds are those memories are what got her into the state of mind they are in. Sadly many people with depression have a very good memory when it comes to those moments in life. We can recall them with uncanny accuracy and the pain is just as real as it was when it happened. We will tend to over analyze the problem and find a way to place the blame on ourselves. Leading us down that slippery slope, into a very dark place. If i may recommend a book that has helped to open my eyes about my past, it is titled "Healing the shame that binds You." It confronts many of the issues that stem from those tragic memories and it gives you tools to over come them. One of the processes is call thought stopping, basically when you feel yourself going down that road to a dark place. You try to remind yourself that you are a good person and that what ever happened wasnt your fault. One of the ways the book i suggested, recommends doing that is wearing a rubber band around your wrist and when you start to have those thoughts, you snap the rubber band. Painful i know, but that little snap, can help take your mind away and remind you that everything is going to be okay. It takes practice and work, like anything in life and a trained professional can help with that greatly.

I wish your friend the best of luck and all you can do is be supportive. Its easier said than done, because you see the beauty in that person, even though at times, they dont. You can remind them till your blue in the face, but often times they dont want to hear it. Dont give up, if they are not in therapy, it may take some time for them to realize that they need help. Even if they know it now, making that phone call to set up that first appointment can be the hardest thing to do. So maybe if you talk to them and they seem interested in help, you could reach out and get them on the right track.

regards,

ICView Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Depression off set by traumatic memories 247640 Im sorry to hear abuot your friend, traumatic memories are a very evil...

Reply: Great Read..."Healing the Shame that Binds You"

Your very welcome. As far as putting things on your children, my parents where...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Great Read..."Healing the Shame that Binds You" Your very welcome. As far as putting things on your children, my parents where...

Great Read..."Healing the Shame that Binds You"

I picked this book up a few months ago for a trip i was taking and on vacation...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Great Read..."Healing the Shame that Binds You" I picked this book up a few months ago for a trip i was taking and on vacation...

Reply: Trigger Alert : I'm in a very dark place and not s...

Well if he is not there for you, then you might just be better off on your own....

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Trigger Alert : I'm in a very dark place and not sure if I ever will get out of it... Well if he is not there for you, then you might just be better off on your own....

Reply: Need to talk to someone who understands

I totally know how you feel, I have been dealing with depression for about 10...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

I totally know how you feel, I have been dealing with depression for about 10 years off and on. My family knows I am depressed, but like yourself they dont know the severity of it all. Most people just associate being depressed with feeling sad or blue. It wasnt until recently that I let that inner screaming voice finally be heard. You dont have to go into detail with all of your family members, but if there is a person or two that you trust and feel that you can open up to them, do so. That will open their eyes as to how you are truly feeling and maybe then they will realize the amount of pain you are in. The main reason i didnt talk about it in depth with my family was because i didnt want their sympathy, i didnt want them to feel like they were obligated to help me. But that was the wrong way to go about it, because then i started to ask my self if they really cared about me? why cant the see the pain im in? The truth of the matter is that after a while, we learn how to mask our depression when we are around others and try to put on a smile and make it seem like everything is ok. Im not saying to be glum and sad when your around family, Im saying be yourself. And if your feeling down that day, its ok to show it, they will probably ask whats wrong or are you ok and thats a time when you can tell them your having a rough day, but you dont want to talk about it at the moment. Its a great way to atleast get that conversation started, tell them that you would like to get a few things off your chest when the time is right. When that conversation happens, you will start to spew all of those horrible feelings at them and they may get overwhelmed. But that will give them a glimpse into how your feeling and hopefully that will gain their interest and they will want to help. Venting to a family member is much better than talking to a shrink, your family knows you and your situation and they care about you. Not saying that a Dr. doesnt, but you get the idea. Thats the nice thing about family, is they are there for you. They remember the good times when you werent down and when they see how upset you are, they will want to help bring that happier person back to life. Stay strong, you got this!View Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Need to talk to someone who understands I totally know how you feel, I have been dealing with depression for about 10...

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