I have been struggling with depression and ptsd since I was eighteen years old. I have found a little relief from antidepressant and anxiety medication, but am not where I want to be at all. I have also been told by the counselor I was seeing that I have dissociative identity disorder. I am still not entirely sure of that. I do have a lot of reasons to be depressed, but it is hard to deal with the emotions alone and has ruined so really important relationships. I push people away and seem to withdraw into my own little world. I have some heart conditions that are likely to require one or two more surgeries and had an extremely traumatic childhood. I have worked with the counselor on processing some of the trauma, but have given up because notthing seems to change. EMDR did nothing to help. I have times that I don't want to do anything (get out of bed or be around anyone) Other times I just feel like crying for no reason. I got really irritated that she was having me weigh when I came for sessions. I was afraid of gaining weight. One of the main reasons I quit therapy in all honesty.
Due to the diabetis, heart conditions, asthma, and ptsd, I have a hearing with disability. I was on disability up until age 18, but wanted to try to work. I couldn't do it any more, working three jobs, 120 hours a week was literally killing me. I am extremely nervous about the hearing. I don't trust people very well and and used to trying to put up a facade.View Thread
Thanks for the encouragement. I know better than to expect overnigh change or relief from therapy. I just get frustrated wth the process. Although there has been a lot of growth. I have counseling today will see how it goes.View Thread