My boyfriend and I have recently had to deal with depression, on his end. When we first started dating he mentioned it when telling me that baggage was no problem and he would love to help me with my anxiety. I have been on and off dealing with anxiety, it has negatively affected our relationship and has brought out some of his depression. He feels he cannot be what I need and want (ie. how he was in the beginning) and we have had one big blow up of him attempting to isolate himself. I was not educated in the beginning and bit selfish, however during this blow up I sat calmly for over an hour explaining to him that I would be the one to sit through all of this and still love him. He still feels like what we're dealing with is heavy but said he would give me time to learn. What can I do? I am currently seeking help, but it seems when focused on helping him my anxiety is gone. I now know what all of my doubts came from and it was his depression causing his strange behavior. I would greatly appreciate any insight, I love him and am afraid of losing him.View Thread
So as I posted about a few months ago, my boyfriend finally left. He told me that he couldn't do this right now and that he needed to be alone. He said he was doing it because he cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me later on. Even though I have tons of resources showing he is by the book depressed and this is a normal reaction, it still hurts. He told me he felt good when I was there, but it wasn't enough. Why would he get rid of the one thing that made him feel alright? Any input on how I should go about things would be most appreciated.View Thread
I will keep all of that in mind, I think my biggest issue right now is the feeling of uncertainty. I miss getting text messages constantly, him laughing, and feeling like he wants to talk to me, however I'm trying to take the little hints as helpful reminders that he is too trying. I really need to find something to keep my mind from wandering into the dark places of doubt.View Thread
Thank you, that helps a lot actually. He has been better these past few days, acting like normal almost, so it's still a bit dodgy for me to bring it up during his good days. I think he will take the hint when I talk to him about my own personal doctor's visit and how it helped me.
I also hope you're getting the help you need, if you need an ear I would be willing to listen.View Thread
This was an amazing reply and I cannot thank you enough for taking time out of your day to help me. Unfortunately on the doctor situation he said he has tried doctors and they just don't work. He recently started taking his depression medication again, however I'm not sure if he is keeping on it like he should. He has been very very closed about his depression so bringing up going to a therapist with him feels a bit pushy as of right now. We had a really bad weekend recently where it almost ended and I sat there explaining that I want to be the one who sits with him during this awful time and still be there. I think my biggest problem is not knowing the signs just yet. I feel as if I'm tippy toeing around everything because not only do I want him to feel like he has space and time for himself, I don't want to constantly bring up the reminder that he has depression. It obviously doesn't feel good because I just want him to feel better, but I also know that it will take a while and am more than willing to sit there for it.
I am taking care of myself as well! I recently made my first doctor's appointment with a therapist to talk about my anxiety.
Do you have any tips on how I could help him along other than the reassurance?View Thread