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Depression Community

IDK what to do???!

I honestly have never in my life felt as low as I do now. I struggled with anxiety and...

Posted by Lynqtpie301

I honestly have never in my life felt as low as I do now. I struggled with anxiety and panic attacks when I was a teenager. It mostly went away when I turned 20. I got married at 20, had my first baby at 22, had my second at 24, and had my 3rd when I was 25 years old. I bought a house with my husband in 2010. He had a wonderful career, and I was able to be a stay at home mom. Things were great until I had my 3rd child in June of 2011. I sort of felt trapped, anxious, and then the panic attacks started again. My husband lost his job in December of 2011 because I would ask him to stay home when I felt like I couldn't cope and take care of our kids. They fired him for "abusing his sick leave" which of course only made me feel worse

We had to move back to my mom's house. I take all of the blame of what happened with my husband's career. I started sleeping more, and not wanting to get out of bed. I have gained about 25lbs in the last 6 months which is making things worse! I have no motivation for anything extra besides doing the best I can to take care of my kids. I really can't go out and do anything because I have no money. I can't go to school or get a job because I don't have anyone to watch my kids because my husband is stuck working 2 jobs. I can't even go for walks because all 3 of my kids still need to be in strollers and I can't push 2 strollers. I feel so blah all the time, and I don't know what to do about it. I love my husband so much, and he is there for me as much as he can be. I just feel bad that he is stuck living with a zombie mommy

I feel so hopeless all the time. I try to be as motivated as I can be, and I do a pretty good job of hiding all of my feelings from my kids. I never yell or hit. I read them as many books as I can. I still find it in me to make healthy meals for them. I just eat like crap when they go to bed. I love my family so so so so so much, and I just want to be better for my kids and my husband!! I will do anything, but I am scared of getting hooked on medication. Does anyone have any tips or words of wisdom or anything??? I want to be happy again!View Thread

Posted byLynqtpie301

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