Hi there -
I have been with my husband for over 20 years and can completely relate to what you are going through. The first thing is remember, you are not alone! Many couples face what we face. Secondly remember that it is your responsibility to yourself and your children to take care of yourself and be happy! A happy mother is a happy home and that's never more true than when the other spouse is depressed. Lastly remember you are not being disloyal when you commit to your happiness. In fact the opposite, by doing everything you can to build and live a happy life, you are actually doing the only and best thing we can do and that is being a great role model. Try the following:
1. tell your husband you love him and want nothing more than for him to be happy, and for you to be a part of why he is happy.
2. tell him you are committed to creating a happy life for yourself and hope and pray he is and will always be a part of it.
3. GET HELP for yourself. Find a therapist who is a good fit for you and commit to therapy 1xweek until you have a game plan. (interview a few if necessary until you find the right fit.) This game plan should include activities you and your husband can enjoy together, things just for you and things just for him.
4. Follow that game plan religiously, making tweaks along the way if necessary.
5. Set a goal date to assess your progress.
Good luck! Don't give up! And remember, at the end of the day, you have one life to live, you're allowed to and should make it a great one!
-MadyAllenView Thread
Posted byMadyAllen(FromDepression Support Group)
