My WebMD Sign In

Please enter email address

Enter your password

Keep me signed in on this computer

Show more Information

If you select "Keep me signed in on this computer", every time you visit WebMD.com you won't have to type your email address and password. This means that a cookie will stay on your computer even when you exit or close your browser which may reduce your levels of privacy and security. You should never select this option if you're using a publicly accessible computer, or if you're sharing a computer with others. Even if you select this option there are some features of our site that still require you to log in for privacy reasons.

Forget your password? Having trouble signing in?

Why should I
sign up for WebMD?

With a WebMD Account you can:

Track your way to weight loss success
Manage your family's vaccinations
Join the conversation

See more benefits Sign Up

Why WebMD?

My WebMD

Show Menu

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

WebMD Home

Depression Community

Reply: I'm leaving

Deasertrose, It is okay to be angry....actually, it can be very healthy!! It means...

Posted by Survivor2007

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I'm leaving Deasertrose, It is okay to be angry....actually, it can be very healthy!! It means...

Reply: Deep Depression

That is a lot on your plate!!! I cannot imagine loosing my husband, even though I know...

Posted by Survivor2007

That is a lot on your plate!!! I cannot imagine loosing my husband, even though I know that it will someday happen. How long were you married? I can only imagine how hard it would be to have my life turned upside down by that kind of loss, especially with the pressure of having depression as a health issue.
Give yourself a break.....you have a lot to deal with. Of course it must feel like you are drowning....big changes like death, moving, isolation from family are tough to handle one at a time, much less all in a relatively brief time period.
It sounds like the issues with your daughter have been going on for a long time. Sometimes there just is no explanation. I have a lot of difficulties with my daughter in law, and that has caused me to not have the relationship with my grand daughters that I had always hoped to have. So, I write to them.....not letters that I send, just letters to keep for them for someday. I tell them about family, about me, about how I love them, about the advice I would give them at various times in their lives.
I think that one of the things that happens with depression is that we get this black or white attitude about dealing with life and it's pressures. Stating that you are certain that you will never feel better is an example of that. Our rational selves know that the only constant is change....everything changes, always. Call it growth, evolution, alteration, etc......But our depressed self can only see/feel what is going on right now and refuses to see the potential for change.
For me, my relief from some of the things that my depression says will never change is to journal. I am a breast cancer survivor, and also experienced a traumatic fall that caused ongoing pain issues with my back. The issues that I deal with with my physical health are permanent and debilitating. So I write.....just for myself. It helps me to express myself...to get the feelings out of my head. Sometimes I write on paper that I can take out and burn.....that is also helpful for me.
I guess sometimes all we can do it go through the motions, do what we can, and just hold on until the next day. I have definately "white knuckled" it.....especially through the cancer.
Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break, focus on what you can do and not on what you can't do.View Thread

Posted bySurvivor2007

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Deep Depression That is a lot on your plate!!! I cannot imagine loosing my husband, even though I know...

Reply: Looking for answers

Sounds like you have a lot to take into consideration. It is good that you are seeing...

Posted by Survivor2007

Sounds like you have a lot to take into consideration. It is good that you are seeing a good psychiatrist, and have started lithium. It is a strong medication, but should be helpful. The self abuse issue is definately something that you need to address with a combination of medication and therapy.
Working second shift is definately a life changer. I worked night shift for almost 10 years, and constantly felt that I was out of sync with the rest of the world. I think second shift is even tougher. At least on night shift I could sacrifice sleep to participate in life. Being socially isolated is definately not good for someone with depression, too much time in your own head. I'm sure you have had suggestions like get involved in some activity that you are interested in......but those are very valid suggestions. Consider being able to do volunteer work at an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, etc. Volunteer work is a great way to get out of the house, out of your head....and increase your sense of self worth.
To be honest, it sounds like this would be a good time to pull back and go home, sort things out, focus on your treatment. That is assuming that your parent's home is supportive and respectful of your decision making skills. The self abuse is what would concern me. Do what you can to find as many sources of information and treatment.....hypnosis can be very helpful, meditation, yoga, cognitive behavior therapy. No reason that you can not utilize all of these.
I know this will sound awful, but see if you can get let go from your job....fired if you will......and then be able to collect unemployment. At least it would give you some income to help with basics like gas money, personal expenses. Maybe you will find another job that is similar to what you do now and has better hours.
Mostly, take care of yourself!! You know that....but sometimes it helps to really focus on that for a while.
Best wishes....will be watching for your response.....View Thread

Posted bySurvivor2007

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Looking for answers Sounds like you have a lot to take into consideration. It is good that you are seeing...

Reply: I'm leaving

Wow, you sound more angry than depressed. Very angry. And threatening....that somehow...

Posted by Survivor2007

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I'm leaving Wow, you sound more angry than depressed. Very angry. And threatening....that somehow...

Reply: Really struggling right now....

I don't know what state you are in, but check into the state insurance program....

Posted by Survivor2007

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Really struggling right now.... I don't know what state you are in, but check into the state insurance program....

Reply: What's wrong with me?

I would very much like to recommend that you look up the definition of borderline...

Posted by Survivor2007

I would very much like to recommend that you look up the definition of borderline personality disorder. It sounds like that is what you have been dealing with with both your mother and your ex girlfriend. You have not been able to resolve your issues of rejection and distance with your mother, and have found someone who treats you the same that she did in your efforts to resolve those issues. It is not unusual for people to find a mate that is much like their parent in an effort to resolve the issues they had with the parent. In the long run, it will not work. The issues that you have with rejection and lack of security are issues that you will have to find resolution to within yourself. There are community resources that you can utilize for counseling, and I would very much recommend Alanon. You need to learn to not measure your self worth by your ability to obtain and maintain relationships with dysfunctional people. Regarding looks, we are what we are. It is the personality inside the body that is what others respond to. You certainly have yourself convinced that you are worthless...and most likely this is what you project to others.
Consider the burden that it puts on someone else to be completely responsible for your happiness, your security, your self image. Do you really believe that that is how love is defined? Would you want to know that your partners life is totally dependent on you?
Only you can change your circumstances. If you continue to present yourself as someone who is "nothing" without someone else to define you....you will find yourself being the nothing that you are choosing to be. Who are YOU?? What do you like, what are your ambitions, what are your interests? You are letting your story be written by others....you are an adult now and can no longer use the reason of your neglect and abuse as your reason to not function. It is time for you to write your own story....your book, your pen.....your story. Will you allow these early experiences to define all of who you are and all of who you will be?
I'm sorry if I sound harsh....but I have worked with young men in the mental/behavioral health field for over 30 years. I am a retired counselor. And I have always practiced reality therapy. If you had the time and money for intensive psychotherapy, great. But you don't.....so, it is time to accept that it is what it is....and if you don't like it, do something about it. Wallowing in self pity (please, not trying to hurt you)...will do nothing to help you to move forward. Time to strike out in a new direction, and decide what really matters to you....who are you?? how do you define yourself? what makes you interesting?
I hope that you are able to let go of your sadness. Mourn for the loss of something that could have been, and then let it go and don't turn back.
Blessed be young man.....View Thread

Posted bySurvivor2007

12 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What's wrong with me? I would very much like to recommend that you look up the definition of borderline...

Reply: Really struggling right now....

It can be very hard to try to deal with something and not reach out to others for...

Posted by Survivor2007

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Really struggling right now.... It can be very hard to try to deal with something and not reach out to others for...

Reply: feelingblue

I so understand what you are saying about this being a very hard time of year. In the...

Posted by Survivor2007

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:feelingblue I so understand what you are saying about this being a very hard time of year. In the...

Reply: struggling

Sometimes a good cry is the best thing. There is scientific proof that crying releases...

Posted by Survivor2007

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:struggling Sometimes a good cry is the best thing. There is scientific proof that crying releases...

Reply: Depressed

bornagain216, hope is what it is all about. I am not a sleeper with my depression, but...

Posted by Survivor2007

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Depressed bornagain216, hope is what it is all about. I am not a sleeper with my depression, but...

See Related Mental Health Communities

See All Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.

Other Depression Information

Depression Health Center
Families of Depressed & Bipolar Kids Tips and Support from Members Like You!
Video – Genetic Link to Depression?

The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.