See All
Preferences
My Communities
My Discussions
My Email Digests

I've suffered from severe depression and anxiety for nearly 10 years now, if I only count years since diagnosis. I've tried over 30 medications and combinations and have never found relief. It's been a year since I graduated from college and it's gotten so much worse in this small time. I fixate on suicide and romanticize the concept of death. I've come out as a full-blown atheist and resent ignorantly happy people. I don't talk to anyone around me much about my condition because their happy-founded responses nauseate me. If I do feel the need to try to bring someone to my level, I start with the most shocking and dark things I have in the depths of my mind and experience, almost to wake them up from their reality and bring them into mine.
I've been laid off from two jobs in the past year due to inconsistencies and missing deadlines.
I've struggled to maintain friendships and have had psychotic breaks.
I've put myself in $6000 of debt since graduation.
I have frequent severe headaches, toothaches, I go days without eating, my reaction time and coordination has been off (I've hit things and been in fender-benders several times in the past months), I'm less sharp, I sleep or lay in bed every moment I can, I can hardly ever get myself to shower or get ready, and my memory continues to diminish.
I've had several doctors suggest ECT to me. I'm wondering if I should try it. My biggest fear is that it won't work, and I'll lose all faith in ever getting relief. I must be frank when I say if I live another year starting this month suffering like this, I will end my life. I need this depression to end by any means I can. It's absolutely intolerable and I can't live my life like this much longer. Anyone with advice or experience with this deep of circumstances please help.View Thread
See Related Mental Health Communities
Women's Health Newsletter
Find out what women really need.
Other Depression Information
- Depression Health Center
- Families of Depressed & Bipolar Kids Tips and Support from Members Like You!
- Video – Genetic Link to Depression?
-
More Related Communities
The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.
Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.
Health Solutions From Our Sponsors
©2005-2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.
