46 year old married father of two (13, 10) here. I'm really riding a roller coaster and I don't know what to do. More and more often I find myself feeling that I just don't care about anything anymore. On one hand, I have a stable, well-paying job with good benefits that is close to home. On the other hand, there is no reasonably possibility of promotion, no one recognizes the good work I do and I'm so bored sometimes I want to walk away and never come back. I love my wife and kids and can't imagine leaving them, but sometimes I get so tired of the routine of family life and all the drama that goes with it. I'm not giving them what they need -- especially my wife (I have sexual performance issues as well) -- and I just feel like I'm doing them more harm than good at this point.
I've been in therapy on and off for the past 2-3 years. Once ever two weeks for several months at a time. But I don't feel like it's getting any better, and I'm wondering what the point is. I'm not seriously suicidal. I don't really think I could ever do that. But I do feel like everyone would be better off if I just disappeared. I could go live by myself and no one would feel bad about themselves because I'm not able to show them love.
I hear you. I have been asking the same question lately. I love my wife and kids, but I'm not giving them what they need or deserve. I think they might be better off without me. Doesn't mean I'm going to jump in front of a train....but it does make me seriously consider leaving everyone and everything behind so I can just be alone and not cause any more suffering.View Thread
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