I haven't qritten in a long time. Been very busy. Lately though I find myself trying to balanxe neds for fibro, arthritis, and depression. I've been in more pain due to all of it. Ineed to keep [ushing forward yet all I want to do is cry. How many times have all of us said 'I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.' I am and do say it often. I've been rude to family members when they say they hurt because I can't say anything withoit being pitied or treated like an eggshell they need to step around. I try not to complain. Sometimes that doesn't work. Then I feel guilty cuz I said something. I hide in the evenings so I don't drag my family down, but it doesn't help with my depression. I will be seeing a pain specialist next week to help get that under control buy that means taking more meds or stronger ones. I want the pain to go away. I guess you could say I'm scared. Could, no, definitely. Right now I'm on Cymbalta and norco. I've tried Ultram too. Nothing seems to help. I hurt so bad at times I can't fix dinner. I hate my life and I just can't seem to improve it unless I've taken some sort of drug. I don't want to live thus way. I'm in a well with slick sides and bo ladder. Suicide is not a solution, I won't go there. I need help and inspiration. Gotta go. I'm crying again. Good luck to all, we all have the chance at happiness.View Thread
I'm sorry about how you feel. To get the help needed try to contact your local welfare dept. They should have a list of local low income clinic(s) that should be able to assist you. When I needed help with therapy I was told to try the same thing. It helped me, I think it may help you. Also contact a hospital and see if there are any groups you can check out.
My hopes and wishes for a better future are with you. Take care!View Thread
I understand you are angry. I was too. I went as far as to ask if the person was going to respond. The question tossed back at me was "What do you want me to say?" I almost lost it. I became overwhelmed by emotion and fired back. "Obviously nothing. Next time don't ask unless your willing to listen and help.' Truthfully that wasn't the way to act at least not from me. I normally held everything in. I was at my wits end. :ike the previous respondent said and I did go to my doctor. I had been and probably always will be on medication. I have suffered with depression most of my life. It wasn't until I blew that I realized I needed something more. I went to see counselors and psychiatrists. Talking to someone outside my family and friends has helped tremendoysly. I'm bot pn as many meds and can actually see a trickle of light at the end of the tubbel called my life. Your anger is justified! It's now time to do something for yourself. A group or doctor will help. Like me you can try to call it "Me Time." It's nice to let my guard down a little and groups and doctors don't judge or ignore. They honestly want to help. One step at a time (Jeez any more cliches, sorry,) you will get to feeling better. (Sorry I wrote a book. I care and do try to understand. Haven't been around lately or I would have written sooner.)View Thread
My depression is resurfacing rearing its ugly head..
My family cant seem to get along with each other. The kids are selfish, inconsiderate dont listen. In general being kids. They cant ot wont listen to any one at any time. Its so frustrating!! Their parents are at heir wits end yring to get them to listen and treat people with repect. The kids understand what is being asked yet they choose to ignore until someone is yelling at them.
We've had a lot of turmoil in recent months. My daughter and son-in-law jusy bought a home in January (and we still have not put everthing away,) out family dog had to be put down due to old with bad quality of life, just to name a couple of things. There is alot more in emotions being thrown everywhere, most with frustration or anger,
I feel like I've walked into the Twilight zone. It hurts so much to see everyone tearing at each other's throat. And I can't say anything or I'll start a fight. Had one already this week, cuz what I said wad undermining my daughters authority over her children and they heard me say it. To say the least it got really ugly really fast. I feel like I'm wallkng on shards of glass and each one is taking its share of blood.
I don't know if anyone will read this. Basically I'm just venting. I really need to see acounsellr or psychiatrist. I'm at my sits end in trying to help when it is not wanted. I'm holding everything in and trying to stay calm (high bp) and talk calmly without yelling. Its hard but I have to try something anything. I know I can't fix it all, but maybe my quiet calm will help mellow others.
I don't know what will happen. Just keep me in your prayers. PLEASE!!View Thread
I hurt so bad and that angers and depresses me. I had to stop one of my medications for a week to take another. It depresses me to know this is necessary and I can't do anything about it.
I feel hopeless, and helpless, eventhough I know this will end Friday. I get to go back to my nortriptiline on Friday, but being without it for a week it sent me into a fibro/arthritis flare and Norco isn't working. I can't sleep and I am so very tired. I didn't know that this medication actually helps me with pain. It is a hard way to find out how much a drug is working for me.
I needed to let go a little and write this 'blog' to help me curb my brain a little. You know get your mind off of things. Its working a little and I am not turning the way I feel inside so much.
Being depressed, diabetic, fibro, arthritis really messes with your mind. No wonder I'm obese. I turn to food/sweets whenever I have a problem. Vicious cycle-round and round I go. Typing is keeping me away from food for now. I haven't found a better way to deal with this,but I am trying to find ways that work for me. (Any suggestions?)
I've got an appt set to see a psychiatrist to help me. My fingers are crossed! I hope this doc can help me.
I just needed to spout a little. Thank you for listening/reading to me. I hope this doesn't depress anyone going thru the same or similar thing.
I'll go for now and try to sleep again. Pray it works cuz I have to watch my grand kids. They are on track break from the year round school they attend.
You are welcome! I do enjoy talking with people, and I am the same age as you. So both of us have been around long enough to love unconditionally. Well so does our pets. TThey are integral parts of our family.
Kira, the last pug I had, wouldnt even go outside to poop. She would ask to go out to pee but she always came in and did her business. It was frustrating to say the least. Age was getting her down and I tried to ignore the signs I was seeing. We (my family and I) were going to move and we know she couldnt survive the move, so my daughter and son-in-law took her to the humane society. She wasnt eating and then wasnt going to the bathroom at all. We all knew what was coming and I couldnt and didnt handle it all. I felt her going was my fault and selfishness. I didnt want her to be old, I didnt want to see her suffer and still I ignored the signs that were in my face.
Overall, I feel that part of me died with her, so you see I wasnt trying to make just you feel better--I needed to be better too. You made me realize just how much I miss her. She was always my baby.
I am getting a little choked up here so I am going to go now. I have had too many losses in my life and it is hard to put them in order.
I know it will hurt for a long time, but God promised me when my husband died at 32 that everything works out in the end. I will make that same promise to you. You may feel guilty and I know it hurts but time will make it a little easier.
Thank you for understanding my problem. What makes it worse is that this was the first time I had been on FB in over 2 yrs.
My friend was upset that his words hurt me, so he emailed me and apologized. He is gay and someone he knew went on FB and attaked him very rudely and specifically. Ive known him for a long time (over 20 years.) I also know he is bigoted has been from the get go. He was accepted by my family at face value and always have we loved him. As years go by he has become very verbal about politics and those around him. It is sad but true.
I sound like I am judging him but Im not. In every relationship there is good and bad. He has changed alot since we lived in Phoenix. My husband passed away at 32 and I moved my kids and I back to Idaho, my home. He passed a little over 19 years ago. I had it tough for most of this time. Docs are saying I am suffering from PTSD because of it. I am not surprised.
I feel better today especially since I read your response. I know how you feel about looking in while standing on the side lines. I dont know if I will ever have another relationship, I can only hope I meet a someone that supports me and the other way around.
It may come my way and I hope to see it happening without my blinders on. I have always had a hard time making friends. I try to accept people for who they are. Inevitably they have done something to hurt me or I hurt them. Real friends take the good with the bad and grow more close for it.
I hope you find someone to spend your life with and that this person becomes a friend before anything else. You have gotto like the person in order to have a real life with him. That is how my late husband and I were, and I feel that we would have spent a long life together. He died of bi-lateral pneumonia. It was very hard for me, and yet I know he has been with me all this time.
I wish this for you and everyone else who is suffering thru these problems on their own. I believe everything is better when shared with someone special.
I am still clinically depressed, and still have all of my problems physically, but thru all of it hope still has a solid corner. I couldnt go on if it werent so.
Good luck and many blessings on your search for that someone special.View Thread
I understand how you feel. Especially when you have pets that are loved so much and have died. I have put both of my pugs down due to age and neurogical problems. With age came problems. You seem to have had your pet a very long, and it has had a deep affect on you. You arent alone.
Dont give up! Just take one step (moment/day) at a time and you will feel better. The pain will be there for a long time but you will begin to have good days again.
You are in my prayers and thoughts tonight. I just wanted to let you know someone does cares.View Thread
I feel kinda sad today. I heard some very rude statements from someone I have known for years. And I attacked back since he was judging people like me. I have alot of problems physically and mentally. I am obese,diabetic-type 2, moderate to severe depression, fibro, arthritis, and blood pressure isnt doing very well recently.
I try not to judge people cuz I know how I have had problems and I feel guilty about being a burden to my family due to it. Yet I cannot abide people who are judgemental and bigoted. I guess in a way Im being judgemental. I try not to be.
I feel rather low cuz of what this friend and I have written on FB.
I dont know how to keep myself from feeling hurt and depressed about his attack in general. If someone has a way to cope with being let down, please let me know. I hurt and am in tears as I write this cuz I know deep down my friend wasnt always so hurtful.
Please help me to work thru this barage of emotions I am feeling.
Im fairly new to this community and I couldnt help myself when I read your post. I felt I needed to respond. Im kinda at the other end and wishing I could cry. I keep things bottled up. Its hard for me to talk to my family, they tend to feel guilty cuz they dont know what to say. I tell them just to tell me I love you. Sometimes it makes me feel better then i seem to jump in a hole with both feet asking myself why I just burdened my family with my problems.
Im seeking another dr to help me. I have only seen my primary doc. She is trying to help. I reqested a change in my meds due to weight gain (60 lbs) and because it just didnt seem to work any longer. Im feeling a little better and can smile more ofter. My mother is in denial and doesnt believe I need to a psychiatrist cuz there isnt anything wrong with me.
I wanted to suggest that you find out which pharmeceutical company is making the drug(s) the doc wants to prescribe to you. While I was going to a clinic that participates with these drug progams and I got my meds for dispensing fees only about 5.00 for a 3 month supply. There is probably a clinic in your area that does the same thing. I went to my local welfare dept. and requested help in locating a doc that I could see and it would be on a sliding scale. They have a program I believe it is called Well Women or something similar. but it got my payment down to just 10.00 a visit. Check to see if there is a program you can be a part of. My clinic also has psych students, counselors, and primary care for the family. These places wont be turning you away cuz you cant pay. They will take payments.
Your local hospital will have docs they can refer you to. And can give you info on support group meetings.
I know I have said alot, but it is worth checking into. You need ehelp and I hope you find it with these suggestions.
Good luck and may tomorrow be a better day for everyone.View Thread