I find myself in a similar situation as you. looking back, I can remember depression as a kid, though I really didn't understand what it was, and even through my teens and 20's, but I didn't reach out for medication until after my last baby, where I really went down a dark place with postpartum. My children are now grown, my youngest is 14, and the last few years I have been finding it harder and harder to hold on. I was a stay at home mom until recently, and this year I have instances where I have to leave work because I am so overcome with the feeling of despair and worthlessness, I need to leave. I can't stop the crying, and I am not usually an over emotional person. My husband is very supportive, like your boyfriend, but it doesnt help. He just doesnt get it. I mean, who would choose to feel this way? I love painting, working with clay, building mixed media pieces, but I have found it impossible to do any art lately, which causes more depression. I take cymbalta, have no insurance, so I know how expensive it can be. I will say, anti depressant meds probably saved me. Maybe a dr visit will help you? I dont know what state you are in, but in Wa state, u can get some help with this.View Thread