I started to go to the doctor a year ago for depression because I got layed off from two different jobs, my wife is disabled in a wheel chair and I have to take care of her. She has been sick for 18 years. I am tired of taking care of her but I made the promise to love, honor, and obey in the marriage promise ceramony. . I have managed to figure out that I have been depressed in various degrees since I was a teenager. My issue is the emotional pain caused by my mother who was an alcoholic. The doctor just gave me medication which was a big help. It allowed me to get out of bed in the morning. My mother was a very hateful person that used guilt to get what she wanted from me and the family. she was very angry and bipolor and would scream at me all the time, she would call me terrible names, Inflict work chores that were endless. She would hit me and embarass me infront of my friends, she would tell me she loved me and then change into a monster the next which made me think love is a bad word. With time I was able to figure out the pain she caused that I have been carrying my whole life. I keep asking why? I have completely separated myself from her, I don't talk to her or let her into my life. Now, I have to figure out how to stop reliveing the bad times that I keep replaying in my mind over and over. I feel bad all the time and the Bible says I have to apologize to her and forgive. that's tough.View Thread