Sometimes I see people in my class saying they're depressed, but other people think they're just overreacting or attention seeking. I've seen them cut several times, and one time they even had a "Self-Harm Party" which I think is ridiculous and weird. Self-harming is not a joke.
Now, lately I've been sad for no reason at all, and I also feel insecure about myself. Not about my body, not about how I look, not about how cool I am compared to other girls.
I'm anxious about my brain.
I'd say extremely anxious but I'm scared some people won't think so.
I've only got two friends in class, and they're all brainiacs, and I feel like I'm the only person who isn't as smart as my friends. They always get higher grades than me, and they've called me stupid several times although they're just joking, but it hit me really hard. My younger sister, 4 years younger than me, is also smarter than I was in her current age, and that makes me uncomfortable and disturbed.
Recently, I joined post-school lessons with other kids from other schools. When I asked my mom which schools they're mostly from, she answered that all of them are from a quite sophisticated school full of intelligent kids. I remember taking their enrollment test. I could not understand even a single question. I became anxious but then I comforted myself; maybe they're not as smart as they say.
But I was wrong.
Last week we talked about Maths and one of the students said that they haven't learned about the current lesson yet, and then the teacher started talking from the basics, and the whole class understood. The whole class understood, except me. I was afraid and ashamed to ask and I know that I should throw my worries away but I just can't.
My parents always say that they're here to help me, but every time I don't understand something my dad would hit me and I always study by myself since then. He promised not to hit me anymore, but his words hurt. Even his slaps don't hurt as much.
Sorry for my English, English isn't my first language.
Am I depressed or just overreacting? Am I taking things too seriously? Or, based on my description, have you spotted other symptoms that are not depression? Please tell me. I am confused.View Thread