You seem somewhat like myself-I've been on depression meds for years and had shoulder surg. w/alot of pain-my job of 6 yrs gave my the cold shoulder for being off work, my husband is sick( Heart, stroke, pacemaker and chronic pain to present date) I became much more depressed,anxious to and suicidal, then went into the hospital for the depression 2 times. I have been home since June 2012 and am now on disability which I'm very thankful for. My now issue is meds are not doing the job, I am better but still think about suicide, and don't leave my house often. I have lost friends when they found out I had the breakdown. I am afraid to make decisions now and trust no one. I feel alone in this and can't figure out how to go back to my old self.I am in Therapy whick is great for a day or so then boom my mood is down. I guess more than anything I wanted to vent-people just don't understand and some have told me to basically snap out of it-and that I'm lucky I don't have to work ect...I pray alot and that is my help. Any suggestions welcome. God BlessView Thread