Hi BB. I am 47 and struggle with weight. I even had someone nice enough to leave a 12 pack of slimfast on my doorstep that read "lose weight fat ass" on it. I know I need or want someone in my life, a friend, a good support buddy but I have trouble I guess when I don't feel that good about myself. I feel like I can connect with you. I wish there was another way to chat at you. Don't give up. Pat yourself on the back for the weight that you have lost....I HEARD A SAYING "SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE" just keep reachiing and never give up. I care.View Thread
BB, have you ever tried weightwatchers online? I have done it in the past and it really does help, well it did help me. Plus there are many types of support groups and blogs to read or write one of your own. It helped me by preoccupying my mind and trying something totally different. It's just a thought, I believe the fee is $18.95 a month and you can cancel any time.
I suffer from depression and I know I need to exercise more, I was walking and doing very good until my bottom gave out again. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone and then my stinking thinking gets me more down. I have to try and think positive and it's hard when I am my own worst enemy at times.
Remember one thing.....losing 1lb here and there is great and safe. They say if you lose more and too fast you can gain it back plus some. Did you inform your doctors about your issue with meds and weight gain? I do know there are quite a bit of different meds that help with both issues, I just don't know what the names are.
Good Luck, let me know how you are doing. I have been writing periodically but usually no one responds, some things may be a trigger and I understand and I guess I tend to ramble kind of like I am starting to do now LOL
Have a GREAT DAY!!! ~HUGS~ feel better and do something for you!!! View Thread
If anyone at all can respond, let me know what you think, and if you have been where I am emotionaly, up and down very badly day to day.
I started a walking group on my dead end road. One of the women is a niece by marriage. When she joined the group, she talked alot, I'm mean so much and so fast, you'd want to tell her to breath and plus you could not get a word in. I got aggitated walking with her because of the kinds of things she talked about. She'd talk about driving down our road and looking in peoples windows and seeing there house messy or a picture crooked on the wall and she then told us her granma informed her that if anyone has sheets or blankets hanging up as curtains then they are not very clean people. I was shocked by what she was saying and totally did not agree. Some people may not be able to afford curtains, it does not mean they are dirty slobs.. Ok so as I said above, she aggitated me. We all stopped walking due to winter weather. I also used to be on FB and that was a way to communicate but i shut that down. Anyways I ran into my niece 3 weeks ago and she said they were gonna start walking when the weather breaks and she would call me.She only lives 2 houses down. In order for me to walk, I'd be walking past there houses. I am so down/angry I don't want them to see me.
Well I found out they have been walking for 2 weeks now, I never was called. I was and still feel extremely hurt, left out, angry off and on. I know they type of person she is and she knows everyones business on our road and she is always gossiping about this one or that one. Aggrivating....right??? YES!!
Then can someone help me understand my own feelings? What I do not understand, is if I get aggitated or aggrivated by her, then why should I let it bother me??? I've been crying every single day and watching out the window to see if they are walking everyday and I see they moved there time earlier. Why do I feel so hurt and angry? I don't even understand myself. I am sure it's more then just what I wrote above that is going on with me but i am truly having a difficult time with my feelings. I feel like I can't get a grip. I probably sound stupid but it's one of the many things bothering me and what also bothers me is it seems petty to me.....so i ask myself, why??? What's going on with me. My husband seems to think Menopause. PMS'ing today so could it be related to PMS'ing and I start with my up and downs 2-3 weeks ago maybe longer. depression/anxiety/anger/emotional/tired and at times I feel like I just can't deal with people. I do not want to be around people when I am like this, I do not want anyone to see me like this. The only ones that do are my husband and my daughter and if anyone shows up or calls I put on an act and say i am ok when I know I am not and I am finding it harder to put on an act but I avoid people as much as I can. I even wonder, am I jealous or my stinking thinking tells me I would not be surprised if she is gossiping about me because now I kind of don't trust her because i am so hurt by her and a little angry.
I told my husband I want to move, I know this is not the answer. Is anyone else out there like me? This is petty compared to what's going on in the world but i am trying to sort it out. i don't like myself like this.View Thread
First of all, I am sorry for what you are going through. I am not so sure that you will get the help you need from this site. Ya see, it's supposed to be here for help. I see so many people that write some really deep stuff, myself included and NO comments at all. Where is the help??? Where is the support??? I am thinking it's more of a joke!!!
If you do not have insurance, check your state for family & children services. They have all kinds of programs and may give you a sliding fee or may not charge you at all. It's worth it to check it out.
I too feel lonely if that is even the correct word to use. I feel like I have no one to talk to, no one that understands.
I don't have insurance either, atleast not until July.I do not have transportation either, at this time, so I can't escape. I am trying to hold out because there are things we cannot afford out of pocket. On top of my depression, I have not been feeling well....health wise aswell. I am scared at times but then I am so up and down at times I don't care but I do, if that makes sense. I feel helpless, sad, depressed, lonely, angry, tired and everyday I feel sick and I am crying at one point or another....sorry I meant to be helpful to you. I did not mean to vent.
2 days ago I wrote this. Today I am feeling a little better. I call my ups and downs "My rollercoaster ride of life"
In a way I was so down, I wonder if I was feeling sorry for myself......when I wrote this. Some of it is very old history, history I thought I dealt with BUT for some reason at times I relive it and so do my feelings/emotions.
I am trying and it's a struggle. I want to be on the right track...
My husbands medical insurance is supposed to kick in, in July. He has to work 1200 hours from Aug to July in order to get insurance. Then I'll get checked from head to toe BUT in the mean time, I am going to try and get a schedule going of daily exercise and eating better or differently and drinking more water and I will start journaling ......View Thread
Hi, I am sorry that you are going through this. I have been there. Just a couple days ago I posted and I wish I could delete it because I feel embarrassed. I almost took my life this past July. My sister from another state called me because she had a vision. She said she seen me standing all alone and all these hands were grabbing at my leggs trying to pull me down. She talked me into going to visit her. I did, she reintroduced me to Church, to God and something called Celebrate Recovery.
I found that Celebrate Recovery also known as CR. Is a program for anyone that suffers from a "Hurt, Habit, or a hangup" which henders our walk with God. This program is free and I found to be a great support group with men and womens groups. If you look up Celebrate Recovery, find your state and then you may be able to find locations around you and possibly go. It helped me, I never felt better BUT then I kind of let my bottom fall out again.I have been down since October. In a way it was my fault I guess. Ya see I lost my transportation, so I did not want to put anyone out and I started falling back into my old patterns and getting more and more depressed and isolated. I am hoping my vehicle issue will change and then I will return. I still don't want to call anyone for a ride. I live 30 minutes away from the city which most go to and my local church has info for this program but no one to run it. I have not even been to Church because of transportation. I maybe get out once a week or once everyother week. I have suffered with depression for many years. I believe for me some of it has to do with tramatic events for me. I wish I could just snap out of it and boy I have even been told this before by some. I even had a sister tell me to get a backbone..... I too hate being like this BUT like I said I do know the best I have ever felt is when I was going to CR. I felt like a butterfly emerging from its cacoon. I was socializing. I felt like I had friends. I was active. I even was excited to learn more so that maybe one day I could help run this program in my Church.
I am 47/ female/married/2 adult married daughters and 2 beautiful grandaughters. I know I have a lot to be happy about, a lot to be thankful about, I also know how hard it is when I am down to think positive. I am too busy being down and always questioning, what's wrong with me. I have those ups and downs. Please know one thing, you are not alone. Please know, I care. Sometimes I wish I had someone to actually talk to
I Pray that maybe this will help you. I am working on transportation for myself. I want to get back into this program. It's the only thing that ever made me feel so great.View Thread
~TRIGGER~ Depression, yes, I have it. I always say and said, I can connect the dots, atleast most of them. I have survived childhood sexual abuse ( My mothers dad), running away from home at the age of 16, getting out of a bad marriage and living at a womens shelter with my then 1 year old daughter for 1 month till I got on my feet. Getting back w/spouse then leaving, new relation ship to a alcoholic ( I did not know what one was then ), daughter #2, marriage tto the alcoholic, my 2nd daughter was molested at the age of 9 by father-in-law and nephew and he was 12 and I worked with authorities to try and bring the sickos down, was put through hell because of it. Found our roomate dead of self inflicted gun shot. Mother-in-law suffered with cancer and hospice, died. My Father suffered for years and died terribly then 4 months after that 1 of my sisters died suddenly. Mother was and still is an enabler to 2 brothers 43 & 49 years of age. My mother is 76. Brother is 43 has been in and out of jail the past 29 years of his life. These 2 brothers live w/my Mom and say and treat her pretty badly at times, even steeling her car for 24 hour periods, cursing at her...ugggh
Last summer brother who is 43 was living in the woods, hiding from the cops. He showed up bleeding and said he was beat by some guys with bats, so I checked him out and bandaged him up and he left. Next day cops showed up looking for him and I told them what happened when he showed up and they came to my house constantly looking for him because I was the last know place he was at. I knew where he was ( at my mothers ) I did not tell the cops, I was so terrified they would shoot him. I was trying to find a way to get him to turn hisself in ( stealing, breaking restraining order) he did not and cops kept going to my Moms too. The other brother that is 49 is a drunk. He told my Mom I called the police, which at that time I did not..My Mom verbally attacked me horribly and I snapped and called the cops, told them my bro was at her house. She left me a message and told me to go to hell and I was not her daughter. I was BROKEN like never before, now I was BROKEN, I was BROKEN to pieces. I could only cry,cry, cry for days. I felt like I lost my Dad, my sister now my mother. I went to PCP for depression and they gave me some kind of sample but it made me sick. I went back and my Dr. was out so I had to see another doctor, he told me to give it time and take them differently, he gave me more samples, at this time w/both Drs' giving samples I had over 100 pills. Well I was not feeling better and all I would do was cry, all I could feel was pain and I did not want to feel anymore. I hit bottom. I was ready to take my life. This was last July.
Now again, I am suffering w/depression, just down, crying almost every day. I have a lot on my mind and have trouble shutting it off. I am kind of isolated. Pretty much the only people I talk to is family, on the phone and it's usually news that effects me and it's beyond my control ( like the crap my brothers put my mom through) She is depressed but was one to always tell me, there is no such thing as depression. If I cut myself off from my family then I am pretty much Isolated from human communication except for here. I am so sick of feeling down. Some of this stuff I wrote happened years ago and I still let it effect me at times like it was yesterday. Depression?? PTSD?? I just need to shut it off. Monday I felt great, Mon night by 8p.m. I was exhausted, Tuesday, no energy at all, Tues afternoon emotions, crying, overwhelmed. Today, tired, crying, depressed.
Tell me, what is wrong with me??? There is so much more....I feel embarrassed in away. I am human, I am NOT a mental case...I just feel that partially broken feeling again, I am not going to harm myself Have you ever had that feeling where it's just too hard to try? Just so tired & exhausted. I feel like I could sleep but then my mind does not. It can only get better, right?View Thread
Thank you for your response and for your Prayers. My husband did say he was sorry and he had a lot of stress at work and he took it our on me and he felt better....ughhhh
He did not drink last night. I think he is depressed and I realize it's how he copes but as much as he consumes and his behaviors with it are taking a toll on me.I worry about him. I want him in my life, for him it's definately people, places & things. I believe he may need professional help. I can only Pray because truly I know "I am powerless and cannot control other adults" As far as any type of medical help that may be out there, we are stuck for now without health insurance. My husbands job requires him to work 1200 hours from Aug-July in order for health insurance to be effective in July. So......we just don't accumulate more bills that we cannot pay. As for me, yes I need to focus on me, eat better & exercise. I have had a hard time doing this because of being so down and having feelings sometimes of just not caring.....but I truly do care. It's been very difficult to go anywhere because of transportation. I get out maybe once a week and only to go grocery shopping and maybe I get to see my mom. As I write you, it makes me realize just how down I have been and I am trying to pull myself up. I have to remember this....
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13
My name is Robin, again thank you for your thoughts and Prayers and for just caring.
BeautifulBuffalo....I have only been on this site for a short time. Your post caught my eye. I want to tell you, I am sorry for your heartache and pain and other emotions that you are going through.
I am from a very large family, there were 10 kids plus Mom & Dad. Last year my Dad died, we knew he was dying but it was all still so horrible. 3 months later I recieved an early morning call that one of my 6 sisters died suddenly. I know my dysfunctional family is upside down now...big time.
I hear some say, I don't want this one or that one at my funeral....everyone is so angry and either can't let go of the past, they can't move forward in there lives because they are so weighed down by the dysfunction and some just can't forgive.
You do not have to do anything or say anything. I was told by someone, that I could just write a letter. Express my feelings ect. then there is no confrontation, no arguments and you got to say how you felt. I feel for you.....knowing my family and a lot of the unhappiness.....most of the time I dred answering the phone. I let my situation get to me again and I am right back where I was 6 months ago. So much heartache and stress all the time, it's so heavy.
I don't know your situation w/your brother. Wish there was an easy answer. It's on your mind though and it's good to talk about it. I hope that you find a solution for you which will cause you to have a little peace.
Some things happened to me, it took years to tell or talk to certain ones. I was always afraid in my mind that if I said something the outcome would not be good.....NOT TRUE.
I wish you the best. I probably did not make since LOL I just wanted to let you know I care. I hope you can heal. No "Stinking Thinking"........."Just Do IT".......................Ya see I stinking think all the time and way too much and I then as always, I become my own worst enemy.