You are very welcome. I was compelled to respond, because I have been where you are, and, while I am not completely healed, I have had lots of improvement. I wish the very same for you. It is a very rewarding experience, once you open yourself to feel the value of your accomplishments. It can change your whole perspective of yourself. Good luck!
I would suggest "An_251345" that you seek some sort of therapy, if you have not taken that route yet. I am 30 years old, and I did not seek help until I was 24. I deal with a multitude of things, but, it was not until recently, like a week ago, that my therapist brought up OCD. She and my psychologist had apparently been discussing this about me, and I apparently mentioned some characteristics in my last session, such as my weight, skin care, dental hygiene, body image, self-image...etc. In 2005 I was diagnosed Bipolar I disorder with manic depression. So, depression and OCD...including any other issues, coupled together is a task. If you are seeing a therapist or psychologist...what meds are you taking or what sort of therapy regiment are you on? I would love to advise you more, but I just need a little more detail.
I would like to say congratulations on your improvement in your classes. That has to feel really good. Your bf seems to be having great success in his life, but it does not make you any less of a person. You do not have to be the one in the spotlight to be of value. You do not need to be in a spotlight of any kind to be a valuable person. You should never determine your own value by some other person's achievements. You are destined to be great at what you do as an individual. It is a great thing that you have come to a more reasonable conclusion. You can achieve whatever goal you want to accomplish one day as well. You are correct. I use to feel the same way about myself regarding my own personal accomplishments compared to those of my bf. I never did feel valuable. But, I began to realize that depression was blinding me from reality. Keep your head up and stay strong. Remember, you can accomplish anything you want.