I too am living with a depressed husband. I can completely relate when you say it feels like he is two different people. My husband would go in spurts as well, having several good days, and even good weeks, but then that 'cloud" would come over him, and he could be such an a**hole! He changed his medication recently, and he has been continuing with therapy. After he made a conscious decision to stop trying to blame something or some one for how he felt, things have gotten better. We have lots more good days, but it still makes me sad. I feel that I have to censor the things I say, which is hard for me because I want to share everything with the people I care about. I feel that if I have friends and a social life it will make him unhappy, and that is very isolating and lonely. I also feel that I cannot really talk to many people about this because I am trying to preserve his reputation. It is all very stressful, exhausting, and lonely. I am by nature an optimist. I try to stay positive, but sometimes I feel that my best friend has been taken from me, and I don't know if I really want to live with this person for the rest of my life.
I think your husband definitely needs therapy. It does help, not over night, but at least now when my husband had a bad day he is not hateful and mean to me any more. He should also get on medication. This is not a fix all, but it can help him at least level out. All the medication of course comes with side effects so you have to weigh the pros and cons.Being with someone who is depressed sucks. I'm so sorry you are going through it, but know that you are NOT alone, and try to take it one day at a time.View Thread