Hi, I am new here and I am looking for help. My boyfriend (just over a year together) suffers from depression and recently started meds and therapy. After MONTHS of me crying, talking, arguing, thinking it was me, etc. he finally admitted he thinks he's depressed. OKAY, GREAT, I said, now we know the problem, let's get you some help and deal with this! I am a "fixer" so of course, now I know what's going on, I am here to do whatever is necessary! Well....that is great to say but so hard to do. I am focusing on helping him yet I feel so alone all the time, I don't have anyone to talk to, share my own problems or even talk about OUR problems. I am reading a great book, 'When You Love Someone Who is Depressed', and it's helping but it is also making me angry, sad and feel even worse and alone and I do believe his depression is becoming contagious! This book indicates I should be patient, understanding, not pushy, accept what's going on be there for him, work together and so many other things and I keep thinking...wait a minute, HE is on meds and he is going to therapy so HE is getting better but in the meantime I don't have anyone and I have to keep everything to myself!! It doesn't seem fair, where is the partnership a relationship is supposed to have? Why do I keep reading in this book and everything online "support the depressed person, be there for them" but I don't see anywhere that the depressed person has to support me and be there for me. I do realize this is a very serious illness for him and I am doing my best but it really is making me very sad to not have him to share when I have a lousy day. It is an emotional roller coaster to say the least! I miss my best friend, I miss someone to talk to, I miss sharing my life and all the ups and downs in it with the man I love and I don't know if I can keep supporting him when I feel so alone myself. I don't want to be that person who is constantly asking about the therapy, how is he feeling, etc. I want him to want to talk to me about it, share it and I think it would help to know what is going on. I am not quitting on either of us but I do want to know more about this for BOTH of us. Thanks for any words of wisdom and just typing all this out makes me feel better. View Thread
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