I'm not sure this is the right place, but I keep hearing some of my family members wondering if I'm depressed, bi-polar, ADD or something since I don't seem to function as a normal individual. I am an introvert for the most part, but I like to get out once in awhile. It just becomes harder to do so when it feels pointless. At times I do wonder if there's something to what various members of my family speculate on about me. I've been to the doctors, but haven't been diagnosed with anything along these lines. I'm wondering if I need yet another opinion or if I just need to be more patient with life.
I've gone through a lot of recent major changes within the past few years and maybe that's compounded the confusion.
Laid off from work, had to relocate cross-country for gainful employment.
Don't have a current place to live on my own.
Currently unable to keep my beloved pets by my side due to mixed living arrangement, had to make alternate arrangement with visitation rights.
Any friends I had (local or distant) just abandoned me: changed numbers, ignore e-mails, ignore all other attempts to just say "hello"
Sued on a small debt I'd already made payment arrangements on prior and during being laid-off, had to obtain legal aid to resolve.
I've been taking steps to get back to what I call level ground, but it's been a constant battle. I'm still working through the payments from past debt that couldn't be handled during the time I was laid-off now that I have gainful employment. The car made it cross-country but it's starting to become a money pit and I have little funds at the moment to replace it with another used car. I have a financial plan of action, but it's going to take time and that seems to be a lot of what I'm running out of lately.
I try to get out more and socialize so I'm not as big of an introvert but I find people are just rude and it makes me want to get out less and less. One vehicle driver pulled up beside me on the road to yell at me for driving the speed limit instead of going 60 MPH on my work commute one day. Maybe I just don't understand people even with as much as I step back in life to observe them, but I didn't see a reason why this individual needed to take this kind of action.
It just feels safer to stay inside, but it's still pretty isolated. I keep myself busy reading books I borrow from the library and taking up learning individual hobbies, but I miss having someone around to share my discoveries and interests. I'm not sure where to begin and I feel ridiculous as I write this since I ramble a lot on tangents - I just want to know how I understand if this is something wrong with me or if perhaps it's something I may need to get some counseling for to resolve. My family hasn't been a lot of help, I have no friends and the past doctors I've been to are all about running expensive tests I can't afford instead of spending more than 5 seconds to talk with me. I'm not sure how to find a legit doctor that will "hear" me instead of just review my insurance coverage and spend 5 seconds before sending in a nurse to explain a process that was diagnosed from just peeking into the room and glancing at me.
I'm certain that I'm very stressed out, and I've tried a few things to help reduce that, but I'm not sure I'm getting to the main core of the issue. Maybe this is what depression is...maybe this is what being bi-polar is...or maybe it's just a lot of pent up stress in life - whatever it is, I can't "see the forest for the trees" to get a better direction of how to proceed. I don't want the pat on the head and to be told to "put my big girl pants on" every time. I think, even though I've mentioned just a few of the major things I've been dealing with recently - I want to believe that I've done a pretty good job in dealing with life's snags. It just gets exhausting and it wears me down when it feels like a constant barrage.View Thread