I understand and you are not alone. it is all I can do to get out of bed and get here to the library to post. I cannot even begin to describe all that is going on or how bad I feel. I just wanted you to know that I truly understand. please try and not give up. hugs.View Thread
I know how you feel. I hope there is a god and he finds it in his heart to help us thru this day and finds a way to help us...make life better. If I was there we could at least hug and cry on each other. love and support one another. I have nobody at home but a dog and cat. Looks like I am losing the one thing that has been safe or so I thought. my home. Dec1. How can I do this. Seems like when you are really down things just keep piling on!! It has to get better...it just has to. God help us. Hugs.View Thread
I want to thank you for trying to help. That is all you can do. If I post here or anywhere else I know I am opening myself up to just about anything these days on this internet. I post cuz I need to. I read and try to appreciate any advice I get. Its just not magic. I wish it was. I thought things were bad yesterday. So depressed and feeling like I cannot take one more bad thing happening. So what happens?? Get a certified letter that my own step mother has sold my house and I have to be out Dec. 1. I have been unable to do the dishes or clean the house or almost anything. So instead of her calling or coming over to help she does this. Advice is not gonna help me today. Love support and real help doing things might help a little. Criticizing me will only drive me farther into the depths of depression as it will this person above. All I have to say today is god help me stay clean and sober and sane today...tonight. I just want to die. I cannot believe she did this. I need love support and help not backstabbing and mh home yanked out from under me. I feel I just cant do anything much less even try and get ready to move!!!!!! SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf???? Seriously. In shock. sick. its just insanity.View Thread
want to give up today. I feel awful physically and mentally...emotionally. I feel like life is just to hard. I have made a mess of my life with help from fate and circumstances. I am not going to take the blame for thengs I cannot control!! I did the best I could under the circumstances in the past and doing the best I can now. I don't know why I am posting other than just to vent. Feel so very alone and miserable...unable to change anything it seems. I know I have to try. it took allot just to get out of bed and wash eat dress and come to the library here. My head and body hurts. My heart is sad. My brain is screwed...unable to focus or concentrate. Have no ins or money to fix IT:( very TIRED OF STRUGGLING!!! unable TO GET ALMOST ANYTHING ACCOPMLISHED. gOD IF YOU ARE REAL please help me. I AM FALLING APART. PLEASE.View Thread
you ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO VENT HERE!!! That is a big reason I come here. I am alone way too much and life is very difficult. If you don't come here and vent then maybe you will do something stupid. I get good advice and I do try and use it but that does not change things going on I have no control over nad really make my life difficult if not unbearable at times!! I can only try so hard as can you. I can only do so much as can you. There are tons of reasons we are unhappy and nobody can judge what we do unless they are in our skin. Take whatever advice helps and try and put it to some use for you. People change VERY FREAKIN SLOWWWWWWWWWWW in reality. I hate it when some people think you have been told something so you should know it and not do whatever anymore...most of the time they are not telling you something you DONT already know but there are reasons its not working for you!! Please keep reaching out and talking. Please don't give up. Don't let others stop you from venting or seeking support. That is whay I am here and even as bad as I feel I will reach out and try and help somebody else if I can!!! Big Hug to you. Hang in there!!!View Thread
Still battling depression and anxiety here with little support no ins and no money. I am lucky to have love and support from my fellowship of AA, Na and Alanon. Does anybody know anything about the changes happening to Iowa Cares Program here in Iowa? I am hoping they will allow me to go to Dr locally and probably too much to ask to get some mental health coverage! Was hoping Obama care would ensure we ALL had ins so we All can get the help or treatments we need. I am doing a little better than I was and still clean and sober but really struggling just to take care of myself and get anything done. I called to Dr today to inquire about paperwork I sent there for some free meds thru the drug company and nobody has any clue what I am talking about! Grrrr:( I can hardly focus well enough to fill out any paperwork or do any housework. I pray for an angel to help me and just keep trying to do what I need to do. Thanks for listening:) Hugs.View Thread
JUst checking in here. Really struggling to get anything done. I am hoping to hear soon about some help for depression meds free from the drug companies. Man do I hate doing paperwork ESPECIALLY when I am so depressed it's hard just to get dressed and do stuff!! Ya know what I mean?? Hangin in there I guess. trying to think positive. So much in my life to be negative about right now so it is really a struggle...View Thread
I am very tired today and frustrated with myself. I posted here I was suffering chronic depression...an alcoholic addict almost 2 yrs clean and sober. Really struggling to survive much less get ahead. I have been unemployed since early 2010. I do belong to AA, NA and alanon. I hve been applying for jobs. My app looks terrible as I have not worked in so long and I had gotten fired from my last 2 jobs...pretty much consequences of my addiction. Trying to work a program but is difficult as I was always an atheist...and now trying to have faith in a power greater than me! I believe allot of things are greater than I. Actually right now the way I feel I feel so inadequate...unable to do the things I need to like paperwork...get a job...sleep...get my house clean...etc.. I feel hopeless and useless. I feel like a failure. All I seem to get done day after day is what I 'have to do' to survive the day. Some days that is ok with me...but many others I am upset and frustrated with myself or just feel like a piece of crap because I am not doing what...or as well as I think I should be...much less living up to the expectations of others. Some others in my life are patient and kind. Mostly those who understand depression and recovery. My family for the most part does not. My sister who has suffered from depression her whole life is like my worst critic and poisons anyone who will listen with her horrible opinion of me...including my own children:(
Just venting today I guess. I keep trying to find the help I need thru the program...reading....praying etc. Soon I hope to be getting some meds from a prescription drug program that will help. I need help. Some days not doing so good on my own. I still want to drink or drug sometimes. I just want to feel better...or sedate myself!! It would help so damn much if I had ins.!!
Very tired today as I hardly slept lastnight thinking about my sister. I know...resentments will kill us right! I know they make me sick and tired. Actually being able to let them go is another matter:(View Thread
Thanks for the advice and hblisa for the prayers. I do believe that love is a very great power. I know that even as angry as I am at my sister right now that I still love her. I saw my daughter yesterday and it really made me very emotional lastnight and I did not sleep till after the sun rose. She shared that she still has resentments against me for what I put her thru with my disease. The reason she came over is that yes she does love me and misses me too. She wants to have a good relationship with me just like I want with her. I feel like she is waiting for me to 'be a sucess' (be working and all happy). She and my other family members that are not there for me right now do not really understand that I need thier love and support to get better. Whether I need it or not I have to do the best I can to work with what I have.
I want to believe in God. I want to be happy. I want to feel better. I want a job. I would like to do something with the rest of my life that makes me feel good about me...something I love or at least like!!
I do try and pray everyday for strength and wisdom, serenity, courage etc. I am trying to be a good person everyday and help others when I can. I wish I could do more. I wish I had the energy to do much more in my life. The depression and anxiety drain me. Without the program readings and friends I talk to and the meetings I get to when I can I would be horribly anxious and would be drinking and drugging or dead I am sure! I forgot to mention I am thankful I have my bike to ride, the library to go to to get online, food to eat and a warm dry safe home.
If there is a god please help me. Give me a break. I really need a job...hopefully one that I can do well and is satisfying to my soul:) I am growing very tired of struggling just to survive here. And please help me to be patient loving and kind to my daughter. help her forgive me for the pain I caused her. I have made my ammends to her and know all I can do is try and be there for her. Help my family understand that I am suffering from depression and am doing the best I can to fight it. Please help them find it in thier heart to be there for me...please.View Thread
I need a place to come and vent and share that is not monitored by everybody like facebook!! I am suffering from depression/anxiety, in recovery from alcohol and drug addition, and have chronic pain from osteo arthritis. Plus I have no ins and no money lol. I am looking for support, acceptance, resources, love, kindness. I don't need anymore guilt, criticism, or judgment:( I try and help others as it helps me but getting desperate here and really really really need some outlet and support!!! Thanks.View Thread