I wasn't sure what board to put this in, but I have some other symptoms of depression (in thoughts, at least, certainly) so unless someone moves it, I'll stick this here. Basically, I'm 16 and haven't had a ~real~ school experience until last year and this year. Math, science and language are not my forte but when ANYTHING becomes very technical, I get confused. REALLY confused. Now, there's "what?" which is how most people think of confused, but I mean to the point where I feel disoriented -- some odd disconnect in my sense of space and my senses of my body? -- a bit dizzy, my head hurts, my stomach feels halfway up my chest, I start uncontrollably wanting to scream and cry, and I stop being able to process plain English, whether or not it relates to whatever I was trying to be taught. I'm getting awful grades at my dream school because even the thought of being that profoundly confused again makes me super upset and feeling physically tight/wound-up for at least a couple of days (therefore, I can't ask for help.) I don't even want to know what to do. I just want to know what it is, because no one I've spoken to has had any idea what I'm talking about. All I know is that confusion spirals into profound confusion which spirals into physical distress which spirals into an even deeper level of self loathing. If I could control this, I would. (Maybe this belongs better in the Anxiety forum? I just don't know.) Any hint or sign would be highly appreciated.View Thread
Title says most of it, but not all. As I said in a slightly unrelated discussion, I'm struggling with my dream school a lot mostly because I can't get anything done until I'm panicking because it's due the next class. Pattern goes like this: -get homework -forget about it for a while -pull it out on the night I should be doing it -stare -stare -feel increasingly disconnected from senses -stare -don't do it Meanwhile, I'm trying my absolute hardest to work up the willpower to do it, but I don't even have the willpower to do that. I only function (shower, eat, go to bed, wake up, get in car) because I am obliged to by my grandparents. I am at the point of congratulating myself for responding to a question. I cannot function at all. I don't care what happens in the long term, I just need to not fail school. What am I supposed to do.View Thread
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