Well you have heard the saying "luck of the Irish" - it's nothing but bad, very bad luck. I seem to have stepped in the very deep end of this bad luck. I'm a diabetic, Bipolar (manic depressive), PTSS, was tortured twice(once as a child, then once while in the military), and the list goes on. The worst is betrayal from friends and family, the kind of stuff that leaves a big hole in your chest where your heart used to be. My entire life has been one big failure after another. I just lost my job for something so idiotic its insane. My wife doesn't want to put me on her medical insurance because she thinks I'm going to drag her down with me. I don't find her very supportive of my situation. My depression has kicked into high gear and the medicines not working, I did this CT treatment - what a waste of time and money, all it really did was screw up my neck. My head shirker has given up on me. He texts the office manger to call him or come into the room to shorten the cession. I got messed up by some doctor you said I had kidney stones, but he lied. They went digging around and jacked up that area which is most sensitive. And this is just in the last six months. O yeah I can't forget that my wife wants to divorcee me because she thinks I'm a loser also and won't find another job. She doesn't want to "take care of me". So things are pretty F@#Ked up right now. I'm pushed to the wall or the side of a cliff more likely. Everything is unraveling and falling through my fingers. I don't see any way out anymore and I've given up on myself too. So, I trying to decide if its going to be with a gun (a 40 s&w hollow point) to the melon (mine of coarse) or a bottle of sleeping pills, a bottle of this other fine pharmaceutical and my favorite bottle from Capt. Morgan. My head is so messed up I'm in a state of panic, hopelessness, I feel rejected, I'm in constant pain, I can't sleep. I just want to crawl in a hole and stop being. I want it all to stop I give up, I don't know what to do
I think the pills and the booze will work, I'll just fall asleep and never wake up. I'm scaredView Thread
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