I urge you to remember one thing - the therapist you choose is your employee. You will be paying them to do a job - helping you feel better.
The best method is to ask questions at your first visit so you know if you have the right therapist. If you feel that this person is not the right therapist for you, clearly state your needs and ask for a referrel. A good therapist will not have a problem with your decision. If you have a therapist who 'thinks' they can help you and you feel they can't - run, don't walk.
The weather is warm and VERY windy. Not a good day to try to rake leaves! High today is 78, high tomorrow is 54 and rain!
My withdrawl headache (going off Pristiq) is not hurting as much. It's still there, just not as bad as yesterday.
Good news! My pdoc called me yesterday to see how I was doing on the new med, Viibryd. He confirmed that I am having really bad withdrawl from the Pristiq and he told me he wished his colleague had not given me more than the standard dose. I will probably be in "detox" for several weeks. He told me to come by his office tomorrow and pick up more samples of the Viibryd. I'm glad he will do this before I have to buy it.
More good news! My therapist called and suggested that I come tomorrow for a 3pm appointment, stay over, and have another session at 9am Thursday. Awesome! I'm working on a very traumatic incident and the extra therapy will help. He is also searching for an intense, 3 to 4 sessions a day counseling program. He thinks he may have found what I need.
Your post ended with this: "I am so afraid he will want me back in the hospital. I do not want that! I think I am better off facing my issues head on."
That was after you wrote: "Now that I am back home; I am cutting, having suicidal thoughts and reassuring myself of the plans often, I am feeling sad and discouraged, and my intrests are still going by the wayside."
Dear one, Please go to your pdoc and be honest. You cannot help yourself at home. You need to be hospitalized and get help SPECIFICALLY for your mental health problems.
If you had diabetes and you felt really good because you took Metform, would you decide to go off the Metform? No, because you would know that the Metform is what it takes to keep your sugar levels even.
If you are on anti-depressants and they are making you feel good, why would you want to stop taking them? Your brain is missing chemicals necessary for you to keep your mood swings under control. The anti-depressants are helping you. Like diabetes, you may need to take the anti-depressants for the rest of your life.
And if you feel any shame because you are still taking meds for depression, stop. There is no shame in taking medicine for you feel better.
A nice warm bath or shower Writing about my anxiety Drinking a warm cup of coffee while reading the Bible Listening to soft music Writing about my anger Finding a favorite chair, sipping a drink, and praying Calling a friend Going for a short (or long) walk Staying in my pajamas for the day Writing about my sadness Getting on the computer and playing games for a while
I hope there is something in that list that you want to try. Staying in an agitated state is very taxing on you. I hope today will be a good day for you which will lead into a good week for you.