Beyond the feeling that your meds are not working, are you skipping doses or changing the dose at your whim? If you have taken an antidepressant for three months at the recommended dose and you don't feel better, then it is time to talk with your psychiatrist. Be frank, be honest, and request that you either try another med or a combination of meds. A lot of times just adding another med is the answer.
If you feel that counseling wasn't getting anywhere, then I fault the therapist. Don't take the blame. A therapist should know when it is time to recommend you to someone else. Try to find another therapist or even a psychologist. Remember, you are the employer and the therapist is your employee. You pay them to do a job. If they aren't filling your needs, you have the right to 'fire' them and move on to someone else. The same thing goes with your psychiatrist. If you don't think they are helping you, see someone else.
Think back to the beginning of your depression and see if you can see what led to it. (I did that. Without realizing it at the time, the year 2002 had a life-challenging event every single month. I knew I wasn't 'feeling good' but I was totally surprised when I had my breakdown on Dec 28.)
It's hard to face a new day when you feel defeated by meds that don't seem to work. Make an appointment with your psychiatrist for help.
If your parents are so callous that they feel they have to negatively make fun of you and your husband, then it is time to pull away for a while. No socializing until they come out of their upity cloud and realize their critizism is not helping. Right now, you and your family need uplifting relationships. If they cry fowl about not seeing the grandchildren, let them cry. They need a wake up call.
Move. You state that living in your current city is not going to provide employment, so you need to move where the open job market is better. Define the jobs you and your husband want/need and contact a company that puts employees into the right business. It doesn't cost the applicant a cent and it also releases the pressure on you both. Be open to moving soon - begin packing and cleaning out the things you don't need.
If you both have to take fulltime jobs and child care concerns you, be willing for one of you to take an off shift job so someone is always home with the kids. The important thing in this kind of arrangement is that the parent who stays home also does their share of cleaning, laundry, and meal preparation.
I worked for a company for more than 25 years in Human Resources. I can tell you that when we looked at resumes, we liked finding someone who was willing to flip burgers between jobs. It showed their willingness to do everything and anything to keep their home life in balance. Never turn down a job. It's coming up to the season where businesses are hiring seasonal employees. You never know when you might impress someone and land the perfect job. You never know when you will receive a high commendation from your employer to another employer who is looking for permanent employees.
I wish you the best. I can imagine the fear you have about having no where to sleep, no food to eat, no vehicle, and no safety net. Get in touch with an employment agency asap.
I continued to work for a year and a half after my breakdown. I absolutely loved my job and I had a lot of responsibility. Here's what helped me on Sunday evenings:
I set out what I was going to wear, right down to the underwear and shoes.
I set the table for breakfast, depending on what I was going to eat.
On Mondays I set the alarm 20 minutes earlier so I could enjoy a cup of coffee and get online for a few minutes. Eventually I did that daily because I realized I wasn't rushed in the mornings and that was a great benefit to me.
My coat/umbrella/purse/briefcase was ready to go.
I filled the gas tank on Sunday afternoons. I also took a few minutes to clean out the inside of any trash, shake the floor mat, wipe the console. It sure made the Monday morning drive pleasant.
Maybe those things would help you, too. After a while, I began to do this all daily (except the car). Knowing that I was helping myself also gave me a sense of control while living in a deep depression. I took my meds faithfully and got plenty of rest at night.