I love reading all the support you offer one another here. I hope you two know how amazing you both are. I know you're each struggling so hard and I'm glad you're here, still fighting, still reaching out.
MyRain, along with talking here, you may also want to look in on our Eating Disorders community . It is a quieter community so it can take a while to get responses, but everyone who is there understands how difficult it is dealing with an ED and offer their support.View Thread
FYI, you describe my exact circumstances many years ago with my then husband. His behavior was the same. It took time but things did improve. (Our marriage ended for reasons other than his depression.)
In the meantime, be sure you are taking care of yourself too. It may help you to get your own counseling because you need and deserve support too.View Thread
Being in debilitating, severe, chronic pain is awful, I know (I'm there too), and it can often take many many approaches to help ease it at least somewhat.
Please keep taking steps to take care of yourself, all the way around.
You've also talked about your battle with addiction (and keep on fighting!); it may help you to hear from others and/or Betty Ford experts on our on our Substance Abuse community . It's a quieter community there so responses can take a while but it may be worth looking in.
One day at a time, Jaws, whether it's about depression, pain or addiction. (((hugs)))View Thread
That calmness you feel is part of the illness. Your plan is potentially very dangerous, particularly since you're not talking to anyone other than us here about it.
Please call someone in your life and let them know what you're planning and get the support you need. If you need rest, work on another plan with someone so you are monitored and checked and can do so safely and in a safe environment.