MyRain, I too suffer from chronic pain. I have pelvic pain. Everyone around me gets sick of hearing me complain that I just stopped. I had a hysterectomy about a year and a half ago and people think my pain went away but it didn't. I am stuck dealing with my pain alone.
Maybe we can help each other out and be one another's listening ear If that makes sense?!?!
HI there, you have defiantly come to the right place. Everyone here is so supportive and loving.
I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. I too can relate, I have/had a self confidence level of zero for as long as I can remember. The one thing that has helped me is my amazing husband. He is so loving and supportive and doesn't care what I look like. When we met, 18 years ago I was a skinning little high school girl. I am no such thing anymore, after three kids my weight is not good but he loves me anyway and that is all I care about.
I had a tough time with my first conceiving as well. One thing that helped me was to sit a relax, I know it isn't easy, I was having a hard time my depression back then so relaxing wasn't the easiest thing but as soon as I did. I was pregnant in no time.
I know this probably isn't helping but I just wanted you to know I know exactly how you feel and what you are going though and will be here for you for support if you want it.
I am back from vacation. The first part went really well, was feeling pretty good for the most part then about Thursday I started feeling really bad. And it got worse over the weekend and and today I can't even get out of bed, oh wait, I did I am on the couch now.
Its so hard, my new combo of meds I am taking really only has been about 3-4 weeks for the two and 2 weeks for the other. So I know its to early to tell if they are going to work or not but I thought I would have some kind of sign of the up swing.
Over the weekend when we go home my husband helped clean the kids bedrooms and that helped me out a lot, I just have so much more to go. I have put off cleaning house for weeks and weeks now and its all piling so high its terrible. I am embarrassed for anyone to even come over. But I just can't get myself to do anything about it. I know we have to take baby steps and do small things here and there but I can't even get going to do the little things.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to talk. Been awhile since I posted because I was up north where there wasn't any service. I can't remember who asked me about the cabin, but its my parents place, its about an hour away from home but its feels like hundreds and hundreds of miles away from the real world and I love it. Its the only place that makes me happy right now
How is everyone else doing. Have been reading a few posts and it seems a few of us are hitting a rough spot right now.
I hope you all enjoyed the 4th. I know I did, its one of my favorite holidays.
I have been up north all week and haven't had the chance to post since there is no internet service up there. We are headed back up there today for another 2 days, hopefully, the kids aren't waiting to go back up so it been a fight. But its the only place I feel happy and relaxed, my husband says that's its just a temporary fix. I know that but if it makes me feel good at that moment then that's what I need. I am having a really hard day today, Can't stop crying and just feel so down. All I want to do is lay in bed.
I am so sorry you are feeling so down right now. Its not fair that he is feeling better and you aren't. You are stuck with all of those thoughts that he put in your head and I know those aren't easy to erase.
My husband recently had some depression issues and started on Zoloft and is somewhat feeling better. He isn't 100% feeling like himself but I have noticed a huge change in him. Which I am very thankful for because for me seeing him in the state he was in made my depression worse.
To answer your question "what's wrong with me" the answer is nothing!! You are dealing with your own issues and that is completely normal. It just sucks that you have to. And having medical issues alone is hard but having medical issues on top of being depressed is worse.
I send you lots of hugs and keep posting on how you are doing! LisView Thread
I know right now you seem like there is nothing to live for because of the job situation, I haven't been in that kind of situation before so I am not going to pretend that I know what you are going through. But I do want to share an experience I went through about a year ago. That put me at rock bottom and not wanting to live anymore. We had gone through a move and were living with my in laws until we found a house. In the mean time I screwed up and paid our current mortgage late ( the house we were trying to sell) and it ruined my husbands credit. We couldn't get a loan/mortgage to buy a new house to get out of the in laws. It was such a mess. I felt terrible, my depression has ruined our A credit because of my laziness and everything else. I regret everything I did to ruin his credit. He was very very upset with me but knew I was harder on myself so he didn't need to be hard on me on top of it. Which I thank God everyday that he was supportive because at that moment I have no idea what I would have done. When I look back its scary. We have horrible credit still to this day. Were in our 30's and need a cosigner to do anything and its so embarrassing. In the end we ended up buying a beautiful house, with the help of my in laws giving us a down payment. I know this probably did help you any but I know a little bit of how you feel like a failure and what that feels like. It does get better it just takes some time. It sounds like your husband is there for you and very worried. Mine is the same way, forcing me to do the things that I don't want to do. But it does make you feel a little better just getting out, even if its for a little bit to eat dinner.
You have family and friends to live for and a husband who loves you. Just remember that!! Big hugs to you! LisView Thread
OH MyRain, those feeling are no fun. I am in the same boat. Everyday I wake up and look in the mirror and cry about the same things. I just told my psy dr today that I was tired of being sad and worthless and useless. So its crazy that you posted about the same things.
I wish I could make things better for you but I agree with Chez and I don't think midnight blue is your color either.
Please keep us updated on how you are feeling, I am here for you!!