Thank you Joy! I know its the depression talking but its so hard to remember that. I am so glad you know what I am talking, lack of motivation and being tired all the time really really sucks!!View Thread
Feeling so down in the dumps today. Can't get up and going, still sitting here without a shower. How do people get up and going everyday and I struggle just to get up?
This is why I feel useless and worthless. My house needs to be cleaned and picked up so bad and I can't get up and do it. I feel bad for my husband, he gets up everyday and busts his butt to make money for us to live and I can't get up and make sure the house is respectable to live in. What is wrong with me??
I was suppose to start taking the effexor last week instead of the pristiq, they had to do a quantity override and I guess they haven't done it yet because its still not ready. So that makes me frustrated that I can't get started on the new meds. I did start the Lithium, not sure if that is doing anything for me yet, its only been about 7 days.
Sorry to be rambling but this is the only time I feel better, getting my feeling out there. I am so tired of feeling like I don't belong here and that I don't deserve what I have. I am tired of crying, I am tired of being tired all the time, I am just tired of life in general.
Thanks for listening to my nonsense I do appreciate your support!!
Chez, I am so sorry you are feeling so low this morning. I know no words I say will make you feel any better but just remember that your kids need you and want you here. As do many of us here. Your kind words to me have gotten me through a lot this past week. I need some self pity myself this morning. Having similar thoughts as you and I hate when I have these. My three beautiful kids don't deserve to have a mom like this. What can we do to help each other through this really tough time? Just know I am here if you want to talk!! Take care and let us know how you are doing later on today!View Thread
My day last week started out really bad and then I made it over to my friends house and that went really well and I actually felt somewhat normal for an hour or so, that was my faking it Just so no one could see how bad I was. Then I got home and it started again, the horrible feelings of worthless and useless. I hate this, hate that i feel this way every minute of everyday.
Alaska_Mommy to answer your questions about the counselors, I haven't really stuck with one for very long. Maybe that is my problem, I got to the for like 6 months or so and I don't get anything out of it and it just seems like a waste of my time. I mean I never have gotten anything out of talking to anyone. They ask me all these questions and I have no idea how to answer them. Maybe its me, I don't know. I have been dealing with depression for most of my life but started treatment in 2001 I think. It was right after my friend was killed by a drunk driver in 2000 then my grandmother passed away and then my other grandfather passed away in 2001, it was way more than I could handle on my own. I could treat it with meds pretty good until after I started having kids and then when I was done having kids in 2010 I had to have a hysterectomy and ever since then my depression has gotten so much worse I can't even stand to be around anymore. Its so hard because I have everything I have always wanted in my life, a beautiful family, a husband that adores me, 3 wonderful kids and a house of our dreams. Yet I am so unhappy. I just don't get it!!
I hate depression and what it has done to my life! I hate myself more than anything right now and I don't know how to change that feeling!View Thread
I am on Pristiq but going to be going off of it as soon as my insurance ok's the new med. Anyway, at first the Pristiq helped a lot, felt pretty good but I have been on it for over a year now and my depression isn't getting better actually getting worse so she is trying me on effexor. But in the beginning it helped, hopefully your husband will have good luck with it. Its worth a try.View Thread
Chez, so sorry you are having a rough day. Days like that are never any fun. That is how I am usually every day of the week except for the weekends only because my husband is here to make me get up and shower and do things. You shouldn't feel guilty, you know we all feel the same way. We don't choose to be like this its just something were trying to get through. I am not sure your history and why you aren't working but maybe it is best for you to take a little extra time to get back to where you can go out. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day for you!
I actually had to put that fake smile and fake normal on today for one of my good friends baby shower. It took everything for me to go there today. But I knew I had to. Had to take a zanax to help me get through it but I made it and it went ok. I am glad to be home though that is for sure.
Hope you have an ok night and talk soon! LisView Thread
Chez, thank you so much for responding. I need friends that understand me so desperately. I have a great group of friends, actually just spent the afternoon with them. But they just don't understand how terrible my depression is. And I don't feel like I can truly be honest with any of them. They just wont get it. It took every fiber in my body to get up out of bed, get dressed, get all the kids ready and to get over there. But I knew I had to do. it. One of my friends is here from Washington DC with her new baby and I didn't know when I would see her again so I made sure I went. And I am so glad I did. It kept my mind off of everything even if it was just for 2 hours. I am having a horrible day. I feel like such a failure at everything I do today. I am trying my hardest to not be so hard on myself but it is so hard. My kids are being horrible today and I feel like I am the one to blame.
I am so glad you got out with one of your friends today, I have been reading your other posts and so sorry for what you are going through right now. It was nice to hear you went out with a friend and got a few good laughs in. We all need that from time to time.
I wish we could all kick depression in the butt and just be done with it. I have dealt with this for almost 15 years now, the last 2 years being the worst I wish that I could be done with it. But I know it will take time and I am trying everything I can to get through it. That why I am trying all these different meds to find something that will make me feel somewhat normal.
Thanks again for responding to my post. It feels good to talk!
Hope you have a good weekend and hope we can talk again soon!
I posted a couple weeks ago about switching of my meds (risperdone to seriqual) and just an update on that, the transition went very well, helps me sleep which is a bonus, I no longer need to take stuff to help with the sleep. Haven't had any side effects or anything so that is a bonus.
I saw my psychiatrist this week and she is taking me off the pristq and putting me on effexor she also is having me take litium at night time as well. I started the litium and so far so good, no side effects that are bothering me. I haven't started the effexor yet because she had to a quantity override because she is having me take different dose than the insurance thinks I need so that is taking longer than I thought.
So now that I have updated you on my meds Thanks for listening to that. I know you all know how hard it is going from meds to meds and I guess I just needed to talk to people who understand.
I wish when you started taking something new it would take affect right away. I am so tired of feeling hopeless and worthless. I am tired on not being able to do anything and faking that I am ok around other people. The only one I don't fake it around is my husband. And sometimes I feel like maybe I should fake it around him too so he will start to feel better. Because I know I will never be normal feeling again. He is suffering from depression right now as well. He started on meds about a month ago and he is just now starting to act like himself again. I have been so worried about him that I am putting myself on the back burner and I know that isn't good. He made a couple comments last week about when I am happy he is happy and I am so not happy right now. I am miserable!! I want to be somewhat happy for my kids so I don't ruin there whole summer. I haven't been able to do anything with them since they got out of school and it isn't fair. I don't get moving until like 3 in the afternoon and then daddy is home at 5 and they say mommy sits in bed all day. What kind of role model am I?
I starting seeing my counselor again this week. I just don't if that is going to work for me. I have seen a half of dozen or more since I started with depression and counseling just isn't for me. I feel like I am just clinically depressed and nothing and no talking is going to make it go away.
I am sorry I am just ranting and ranting and nothing is making sense but I thank you for listening and it help so much that I know all of you know how I feel.
Hope everyone is doing well today. Its a beautiful summer day in Michigan today!
Today is another rough day, can't seem to get myself up and do anything. I am a stay at home mom of three amazing kids and I have two of them home with me all day right now and all three starting Friday after her last day of school. I can't go on like this. My kids are suffering, they see mom lay around in bed all day long and I have no idea what to do. My husband is being amazing, so supportive! He keeps telling me to take baby steps and take one at a time. My biggest accomplishment today was to take a shower. WOW what a day!!! Its so sad and pathetic. But I have no idea what to do to change. The new med I started on makes me so sleepy at night and last night I didn't get a good nights sleep, lots of interruptions with the kids and dogs so this morning I was even more tired than usual. Buts its almost 2 in the afternoon and I still can't get going.
I am on a short rope about to fall and I am snapping at the kids and this is not how I want the whole summer to be, I am just praying that I can snap out of this soon, very very soon.