First I want to say hello to everyone here. I am 42 and a stay at home mom for the time to our 5 yr old only child. This is a new chapter, a new route for my life. Don't get me wrong, like many others I'm sure I have been on plenty of "diets" in my time. Plenty. But doing it the wrong way always led me back to the same place-overweight and miserable. Weight has been an issue all of my life, I lose, I gain, I lose, I gain more. I had almost gotten down to a good place for me when I found out I was pregnant. At 37. I stopped smoking, cut out caffeine, stopped working at my profession to take it easy because I had a high risk pregnancy, and let my ravenous cravings get the better of me. I gained 80 pounds in no time. Only 10 belonged to the baby. After giving birth by c-section I had major problems and had to be readmitted to the hospital and so forth, leaving me to be unable to lift or move much for a long time. Once the weight started piling on, so did the pain. Now, almost 6 yrs later and my weight is now at a whopping 440. I have not admitted that to anyone until now. I am so mad at myself. Every night I lay in bed with my body screaming out in pain, a knee that cannot support my weight any longer, feet that cannot carry the load, and the sweetest child who I am ashamed to be called his mother. I am now taking this path for me. I am going to fight for my life and to give my child a good life. Food cannot rule me anymore. Portion control is a problem for me. I have bounced from one addiction to another all my life and believe me when I say, food is as addictive as any drug/alcohol/behavior out there, worse actually because it's legal to eat. Food is my addiction. But hopefully with the help and support of others I will overcome these demons and get my life back. I know it will be a long road and I am willing to go the haul for the first time ever. Whew, that felt good to get out. I am loving the food tracker and as soon as I get over this darn pneumonia I will be getting back into the pool for some exercise. Life can toss as many stones as it wants to try and detour me, but nothing hurts as badly as me not wanting to walk beside my son and husband because I am ashamed of the way I look.View Thread
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