LOL! It sounds like a very tempestuous affair you have going with Mr Pizza!
Mr Pizza gets around, because I am also unable to be in the same room with him. Mr Lay's is also a bad influence in my life. These relationships are not healthy for me, so (just like my nephew), I limit my time with them.
Great analogy with the flat tire, too! Love it!View Thread
Oh sweetheart...how I feel your pain! I came from that same place a year ago.
First, you have to stop basing your value on your appearance or your weight. Think of all the things that you DO like about yourself. Recall to mind any accomplishments and how you felt when you achieved them.
It is going to take faith to see through the deception that tells us we are ugly and unwanted. Try this...it worked for me:
Step One: Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side make a list of all the yucky stuff that comes to mind about yourself. Let all the things that worry and torment you to flow onto paper. This part will go fast. But, don't get lost in a pity party...there's a step two!
Step Two: Make a list of all the things you love (or at least like) about yourself already and then add all the things you want to love about yourself but can't. Make it your "dream you".
Step Three: This is where your faith comes in! Take your pencil and cross out the each "yucky" thing and draw an arrow to one "love" thing. Then tell yourself this is who you are....NOT the other side of the paper! Say it out loud. Close your eyes with each statement and see yourself as that dream you. Do this everyday and as often as you start to doubt your self worth.
When you look at the yucky side think of it as lies you've been sold about yourself. They are not true...at least they won't be for long if you keep up your diet decisions!
Remember that old song? Everyone is beautiful in their own way. So are you!
Come back for support and find comfort in knowing many of us still fight the same feelings. I think Pam Peeke says it takes 1 year per every 10 pounds lost to get our minds to see us thinner. Be patient...it's working!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you say your plan to regain your health and lose weight "came from within". They say all change starts from within, and I believe that with all my heart.
It's not enough to want to lose weight. It's not even enough to know you're going to be sick and possibly lose your life because of your weight.
I believe that it takes an agreement with your sub-conscious level to love yourself again and treat your body as though you do. You deserve that loving care and I'm so glad you're here to share your story with us!!
Congrats on your 80 lb loss, Nursingbug!! Way to go!!
It is a whole different ball game when we talk about the difference between losing 10 lbs and losing 100 lbs. It takes a special person to be able to commit to losing half of ourselves!
But, you ARE special and you have done a great job so far! The trick to creating new habits is to replace the bad ones with new ones. We can't just stop acting on a habit without something else to fill that gap.
When I decided to stop using food and eating as my "filler time" I had to find something else to fill that time with. Instead of going to the fridge when I am bored I now recognize that habit trying to sneak back and will take another course.
I love the outdoors and my first veggie garden is in full swing. So, when I'm bored I try to walk right past the kitchen to my back door and out to my garden. Playing with all those healthy vegetables reminds me how I love taking care of myself the right way. When I come back in, it's easier to resist snacking on junk, and I can get back to whatever I was doing.
Have you found any new enjoyable (and healthy) habits to replace your old ones?View Thread
I can hear that inner turmoil in your post and I empathize with you! It is a tough battle to master especially when we're not sure why we do the things we do!
The important thing is to start taking the steps in the right direction. Even if it seems like they are such tiny steps that we don't see the results right away. It's the habits and inner thinking that we're working on in the beginning, and by taking the steps - no matter how small - we are creating a new life for ourselves.
To truly start over I think we need to come to that place where we "know that we know" we are going to do this right and will refuse to turn back again. It takes a lot of resolve and the willingness to educate ourselves as we go.
Believe that your decisions are changing you. Believe in yourself and what you can do. We are here to support you in whatever way we can!
As far as the eating compulsion after exercising, it's normal to work up an appetite. Rich Weil from our Fitness & Exercise board, has some good input on exercise making us hungry . Check that thread out and see if it offers some help, or even ask Rich for his tips. View Thread
I'm with you on the bread basket. Lordy, how I love love love the restaurant rolls and breads! My daughter picked up the same fondness and is even worse. If I let her, I'm sure she would make bread alone 99% of her diet.
So, I wonder if these relationships with certain foods are something we pass on down to our kids or if it is learned behavior.
Like you, the only way I've found to control the relationship with unhealthy foods is to eliminate them and create new relationships.
We can have different relationships with different foods much like we do with certain people in our lives, I suppose. I have a nephew that I love to death, but he has issues with anger and resentment that he won't let go of and therefore, I have to limit how often I see him to avoid being mistreated. I can't control his behavior in the relationship, but I can control mine.
I am always impressed with how you've taken note of all your foods and use them as a daily budget system.
So, are you saying that you have different relationships with different foods? That is interesting how we do that, but you're right. Sometimes we get on those kicks where we just love a food (like your berries) and sort of forget about others for a while.
It reminds me of my kids and their school friend relationships. How finicky they are with who their BFF is from one day to the next! One friend hangs out with someone they don't like, so they find a new friend to hang out with.
We see foods like lasagna, which can be high in fat and calories, and we think, THAT is no friend of mine because "who" the ingredients are hanging out with. Bad relationship.
But, we can take one ingredient from that lasagna and find that it's healthy on it's own or prepared with a different class of "friends". Like, a slice of mozzarella with sundried tomato on a whole wheat cracker. Good relationship.
Very complex, indeed.
PS--> Sorry about the Pats losing. What an upset!! Couldn't believe my eyes! I really expected the Super Bowl to have the Pats in it this year. But, I have to admit...I'd rather see my Bears play the Jets than your Pats!! Call me chicken or call me smart! Glad we're on the same team now! Hope the Bears crush the Packers this weekend!! (ok, sorry for stealing this thread for a second, but I just had to)View Thread
Good word choice, Tomato..."treacherous". That relationship with those foods we tend to overindulge in, IS treacherous.
I wish we could say that it's a relationship we can easily manipulate and repair, but alas for you and I (and many others), it seems we will always need to restrict how often we expose ourselves to those temptations.
For me, no matter what food it is when I get in that "gotta eat something now" mode, I can overindulge in just about anything. I believe mending my relationship to any and all food is where the root of my yo-yo weight gains will be found and finally repaired.
Our interaction with food is a very important relationship. Just how important? Is food like a great friend that's always there? Is your diet like a great boyfriend you cheat on with food?
Your relationship with your best friend or boyfriend can become your world. They make you feel good about yourself. They help you through tough times, they're there when you're celebrating a big event, and they share in your happiness, sadness, or anger.
When you cheat on your diet, you think, "No one will know but me." However, 10 minutes later you want to cry because you let down your BFF or cheated on your boyfriend.
A best friend can be like a drug addiction that you just HAVE to have in your life or you feel lost... Sugar, chocolate, potato chips, pasta...we love them and we hate them. The difference between a food addiction and a drug addiction is that we REQUIRE food to survive. You want to start over with your diet , but the bond with food has become so strong. So, how do you kick a habit that you depend on to live?
What does food represent to you? How healthy is your relationship to food? Do you eat because you love food, or do you eat to fuel your body alone?
Share your thoughts, your concerns and any questions you have as we continue our 4 week series on the challenges of losing 50-100 lbs, how it differs from other weight loss goals, and how your weight influences how people see you and how you see yourself.View Thread
Congrats on your determination to get healthy again! I think many of us fall into the emotional eating group. Food can become our best friend and our worst enemy. Ugh!
What was it that you feel was holding you back from losing weight before now? Was it your relationship with food, poor self-image, or something completely different?
I think that while we are all forming these new healthy eating habits that we find accepting the change in habits so hard. I've found that once I've been practicing good eating habits for a while it becomes a little easier to make the right choices. They are like second nature.
However, it's the emotional addiction to food that we really need to address to see life long habits. If we never deal with the root of the problem, it will always come back to haunt us. It's great that you're seeing a counselor to help you with this so you learn how to cope with those addictions should they appear again.