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Anyway, last night I decided I was going to kick up my exercise and make myself do some exercise every night after the kids are in bed no matter what and as a kick off I did 100 crunches, 100 reverse crunches, and 100 standing side crunches on each side (so 200 standing side crunches total) and I was wiped out. Today I was expecting my abs to hurt but it was only my sides that did so I decided to do isometric stomach exercises (you know, flexing that muscle and holding it throughout the day, no one can tell you are doing it an the muscle gets worked throughout the day even if it normally wouldn't) and now my abs are also sore. At this point all I can think is "I really want a brownie, just a small one! That yummy thick milk chocolatey decadence surrounding the apple cinnamony goodness. Surely just one won't hurt." Then I have to remind myself, just four more lbs by next friday and I will be towards the top of the pack in the healthy living weight loss challenge at work as well as below 190lbs, which I haven't been in a long time. But I want the brownie so badly. I don't need it, I know that, I just want it to comfort my sore tummy muscles. I am trying to ignore the craving by thinking about arm and leg exercises for tonight when the kids are in bed, but I can't. I must find a good reason to let the kids have the rest of the brownies for desert (a rare thing in this house, desert that is) otherwise I am sure I will eat them all. At least I was good at avoiding the leftover desert buffet at work today.
I want a brownie.View Thread

Barb, I'm not really beating myself up here, it's just annoying and sends a panic through me when I step on that scale and see those few pounds back again. I have had to more than once force myself to eat because of it playing with my mind. I am already anemic that time of the month, no food would completely wipe me out, and I know too little food without the right nutrients would set me back even more once I see the scale moving down again and start eating normally again. In past weight loss attempts I would have just stopped eating until the scale started moving down again. Now I know I need to eat regardless and just watch more closely what I eat that time of the month to make sure I'm not giving in to late night cravings because that is when my resistance is at it's weakest. I have to make sure I am not only not overeating but that I am not undereating also. The easiest way for me to lose weight as a teen was to just not eat, 10lbs in a week that way, and I don't want my kids to think that is ok because it causes so many more problems to the body that it is worth and it is only temporary.
I know that I will not reach a 20lb weight loss by my anniversary in 4 weeks, and really that's ok. If I keep at the rate I have been going for weight loss I should reach my wedding weight by late June (around my husband's birthday) and my goal weight by mid September. That timeline I can live with just fine! It's exciting to think that I am actually achieving this since normally I will lose 20 or 30 lbs then maintain for 6 months then gain it all back plus. It's just that water weight messing with my mind, I hate my monthly.View Thread


Anyway, The fact that I have been consistantly loosing weight lately, except during that time of the month, is annoying. I will lose two lbs a week, then in one week I will gain two or three only for them to be gone the day after it's over and then I keep on going. It messes with my mind, while I am moody and more emotional already for that week the extra couple lbs makes me feel like I have failed. I have lost so much weight and finally feel that after several years of post partum depression and my life falling apart right in front of me (well, that's how it felt) for one week a month those feelings revisit me. I know it's completely in my head but it makes me wish I hadn't joined in our weight loss through healthy living competition at work just so that I don't have to weigh in every week. We only have two weeks left though then I can go back to monthly weigh ins for myself. I wish that I could get down to my wedding weight by my anniversary, which is another reason it makes me feel bad when for one week a month the scale starts going back up, but I need to be ok with whatever my weight is or it will ruin the day for me and my husband. I hate monthly weight gain.View Thread


Taking those first steps of recognizing the problem and looking for the answers to what it is and what you can do about it are all you can do right now. The human body has a wonderful capacity to heal itself, it just takes time and care. All the best in your results.View Thread

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