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I'm going to try to put my story in again. I had done it months ago, but it disappeared for some reason...gremlins maybe!
I started gaining weight in the 1980's and by 1997 I was 315 pounds. I have been yo-yo dieting for the past 16 years. I have had short term success, but always end up heavier than I was at the beginning.
In January of this year I realized that I can do this if I do it in a healthy way...so here I am.
On a personal note, I have had challenges that have provided excuses for me eat emotionally and also because of medications. My challenges have not been more trying than anybody else's but gave me my own reasons to be unhealthy.
In 1984 I was diagnosed with bi-polar 1 but have slowly learned to live with it. A large percentage of anti depressants and mood stabilizers have a side effect of weight gain. I have been hospitalized ten times in psychiatric wards. The lack of movement and being that the only thing to look forward to were meals provides an easy opportunity to gain weight, especially after three weeks there.
My first marriage of thirteen years was very unhealthy and I binged through my entire marriage. Then I went through a divorce that was hard, as all are. My second husband killed himself which gave me an excuse to drink too much and binge.
My third husband has full custody of his two children so I have raised them. When we married, they were eight and eleven and were very angry. The stress gave me another excuse to binge.
In 1998 my father died and I decided on that day to quit drinking since that contributed to his death. Quitting drinking gave me excuse to binge eat.
In 2011 my husband and I were hit head-on by a drunk driver who was driving 80 miles per hour. We both survived which I will be eternally grateful for, but the years following have been a huge challenge. We both spent two weeks in the hospital then went to a nursing home. I was there, unable to walk, for two months. In the nursing home, as in the psych ward, the only thing to look forward to was eating so I did a lot of that. I was sent home by myself on a walker and again binged. My husband got out of the nursing home one month later which did cut back on my eating. But after that, pain from the accident have made exercise extremely difficult. Not impossible, but I let myself off the hook. My binging increased again.
As I mentioned, these events just provided excuses to overeat and be sedentary, but they didn't cause it...I did.
I am in a very happy marriage, and had 5 1/2 years of sobriety until a relapse in July. I have a wonderful relationship with the children, and have a beautiful grandson and granddaughter. I am only having to use a cane instead of a walker. It's time to be healthy. My knees and back have been under so much stress because of my weight.
I am using the Lose It application to help me track my calories, nutrition, and movement. This forum has been a support for me that has been very necessary. I now realize that I need to change my habits for life, and not just diet. I have a wonderful opportunity to become healthy and fit...I am going to take advantage of this. It's not about losing weight anymore...it's about gaining life!