About a week ago, on radio 98.5 in the morning, they were discussing an email they got, from a woman who was angry with her best friend because she had the gastric bypass and lost a lot of weight.
This friend would post her progress and photos weekly on her Facebook page. The woman who sent in the email (lets call her Susie so we can keep this straight lol) Susie was angry because her friend posted this regularly and was proud of her success.
Unknown to her friend Susie became angry because she said "she boasts and posts all the time about how great she is!". I'm sorry but I found this whole thing distasteful. Susie obviously couldn't have been the 'best friend' she claimed, because she was unaware of the trouble, the discomfort, even pain, and all the horrible side effects of this kind of surgery her friend had and probably is still going through.
When I post photos and updates, it is not to boast... its to confirm for me this is real and I am trying to stay on track with the 'rules' of this surgery has now enforced on my life. The vomiting repeatedly 6 or 7 times in a row because I ate something too fatty or too much by a spoonful, the bouts of diarrhea if something had too much sugars, or the constipation, the severe gas pain that makes me double up in tears.... and the head games my mind plays on me...
...Do I regret doing it? NO! I will put up with all the issues because I no longer have to shoot insulin twice a day, I no longer have to be carrying nitro glycerin for my heart, I no longer have cholesterol medication, and blood pressure medications, I no longer find a 'invoice' from my insurance showing $1050.00 per WEEK for medication, plus all the doctors I had to see weekly. I am healthier than I have been ever.
Yes, it has horrible, and even painful side effects, but there is no way I would ever go back to what I had to deal with before the surgery. I hope this Susie gets the truth soon, and realizes her friend wasn't necessarily boasting and showing ego, but more likely was trying to wrap her head around the fact so much has changed and it is hard to deal with at times, but it is worth it.
I actually feel for Susie, she sounds so unhappy in her email that the radio station read. I hope she finds in herself what her friend had to go through hell to find... a better way of living. Ok. I'm done with my ranting lol.View Thread
Starting out at 310 lbs-Bariatric Gastric-Bypass 04/24/2013-And then the follow-up. Fingers are not crossed, because this doesn't have to do with luck... it has to do with ME, and I am Pink.
As of today.... 125lbs lost since surgery! Each day I am still stunned with the changes. I still have difficulty 'seeing' it, and find myself staring at my reflection, overwhelmed at the changes. I'm not sure when it will stop startling me like this, but for now, I still feel a sense of confusion when folding my clothes, about how much smaller they are than they used to be. SMH... Its an odd sensation.
Its the mental part now that I have to battle. I have the eating, exercise, and medical side under control, so now I have the harder part of this battle... my thinking. And trust me, it IS the harder part of this.
Each day I deal with accepting I am not 310 lbs, or even 210. And the closet is not 'empty' just the clothes in it are smaller in size. And to realize when I go into clothing stores, I don't have to step to the plus size racks, but the 'average' racks, because I have to tell myself, they DO fit now.
I'm being noticed on the street too. Men and women stop and stare, and I don't hear the 'snickers' and 'jokes' that used to tear at my self-esteem. Instead I find people looking me in the eye, smiling, nodding, acknowledging that I exist. I still feel the stinging from the laughter and comments about my size... even though they are never spoken now. I find myself being suspicious of the smiles, eye contact, and verbal acknowledgements. Like I said.... its the mental side I am battling now. I find it ...strange, not being the butt of jokes, or invisible to people and shopkeepers. Not sure yet how to deal with it. I'm working on it... I'm still a 'work in progress'.
50 is easy as apple pie! You come to realize what they mean when they say "don't sweat the small stuff". Even at 49 I don't think I knew what that meant. Its like someone flipped a switch on in my brain. I am truly enjoying being 50. People don't believe it, even at the grocery, and ask for my id for proof! lol a benefit of the weight changes.
The spinal stenosis, according to my ortho-specialist, is now back at a 'baseline' and I'm moving well again. The foot drop is done with, but I still experience some numbness and weakness in the knees if I walked too long or sat too long, a result of the two disks pressing on the sciatic nerve. So, I will take it slowly when that happens. Its just a reminder, this could have been a whole lot worse if I didn't loose the weight, because it still would have been hidden, and more damage would have occurred from carrying the weight.
Ok I'm running late for my LAST day of physical therapy. Love to all!
Yes, its me... lol I really am bad about posting sometimes... ok ok, most of the time.
I just celebrated my 50th birthday, with of all things, a huge bbq in my back yard. I am in Size 14 now!!!
I still am and will be dealing with spinal stenosis, but Its much better. I can move again. The pain will always be there to some degree, it is nerve damage and non-reversible spinal damage. sigh. But its do'able.
Here is a few photos from by birthday celebration, I had over 140 guests! No I didn't expect that many, but friends bring friends that know someone I know... you know 6 degrees of separation and all that! lol
had a manicure/pedicure the day before... before the weightloss, I never bothered with such things.. now I'm enjoying letting my nails grow and have a professional spoil me once a month.
She handpainted each nail... no stamps or 'stickers' ...
It was wonderful day! And it took me a bit to get my head wrapped around being size 14 instead of the 28W I was 17 months ago!
Time is helping... but the mental stuff is probably one of the most difficult things to deal with right now... I see in the mirror and in my waistband the changes... but my head still sees me at 310... Its a bit challenging. Yes I am back in therapy to help me adjust mentally... they call it body dysphoria. So... I work on me still... always. Hugs. I hope your summer was as...amazing and good to you as mine has been.
I look back and wonder with amazement on just HOW did I survive life this well? lol
Humor, Joy, Happiness, Love, Peace, Friends, Family of Choice, People that have come and gone out of my life, Secret angels sneaking in to touch me, music, caring, tenderness, hope... Yes, HOPE. It is amazing how much we get through in our lives with something as simple, complicated, easy, confusing, calming, frustrating, wishful, and even angering of a thing as HOPE.
So for my 50th birthday wish...
I wish each and every one of you, HOPE. May it touch you when you need it most, least expect it, and desperately need it. May it bring you a chance in surviving the little things, and the overwhelming things in your life. May it give you the same chances in surviving your world, as it has mine. May you learn, live, cry, laugh, and be HOPE.
So, Happiest of Days, may you each find just one thing today, that one special "thing" that makes you smile and know HOPE is part of your world, for better or worse, to learn and live by, and through.
Thank you for being a part of my world in some way today. You have given me an amazing gift... Hope for all of us, by just being here.
Thank you for your support and encouraging words! They mean a lot to me!
I have been working hard in physical therapy. Its one of the 'issues' doctors seem to forget to tell you about, that there may be 'hidden' issues found after you lose the weight. For so long, I thought my back aches and weak legs were due to the 310 lbs I was carrying around on my frame. I never imagined it would be something like spinal stenosis.
Needless to say, I will be spending the next 6 weeks in PT and doing water aerobics 4 to 5 times a week. Just so I can avoid surgery, this is necessary. And... it doesn't hurt to keep up with the weight loss.
I find I am exersizing daily for an hour, then to PT and the Y for another 90 to 120 minutes more of 'workouts' So It is coming off still.
My 50th Birthday is July 25th, and I am planning a big blow out/revel of my 'new' old self. It should be fun.