Lorrie, I think you have a very wise approach to take it step by step like that. Once your habits are better, other good things will follow almost automatically, I think.
My challenge at this stage is just to survive and stay sane, but like you, also to just focus on healthy habits. I am already sleeping more, which I am proud of. My eating is fairly healthy, but I still need to cut down on the sweet things (that I must not turn to now in my time of stress).View Thread
I read somewhere recently where someone was writing about hidden calories, and it struck me that my calories aren't hidden - they are all out in the open!
I mostly eat fairly plain food, no complicated recipes either and don't eat out much. So, it is probably an advantage that I know where the calories are coming from, but on the other hand, it is also then even less of an excuse that I eat too many calories!
Not that "hidden anything" is probably the right topic for me to dwell upon at the moment, having discovered my husband's cheating lying ways...
But yesterday I actually laughed for the first time since I caught him out. I met my friend (I only have 3 good friends that I can confide in) for coffee and we were discussing the issue, and I was telling her how he called himself "Tiger" in his messages to the mistress, and she burst out laughing. Suddenly I found it hilarious too (he is not a tiger-like type at all, not the word that comes to mind when you look at him) and we were falling about in the cafe with giggles, how weird. I think it was all my bottled up emotions that suddenly escaped; I could not stop laughing. Very frivolous, but it was very cathartic.View Thread
Thank you so much for all your lovely messages of support (after I posted about my husband having an affair) and all the advice; they have done a lot to provide me with strength and sanity, really. You are my real friends! I'm taking every bit of your advice to heart.
Latest developments: we've been for a marriage counseling session, and will go again next week. But don't get the wrong idea: I am not going to stay in this wreck of a marriage! I am playing for time, while I get my ammunition in order and prepare. E.g. next week I will go and see Legal Aid.
If it was a different type of person I may have considered giving it a second chance, but not with his toxic/mental bully personality.
I haven't weighed myself lately, but my clothes aren't really any looser. I am still eating healthy, as my health is more important than ever, and I still go to the gym, which is my little safe haven away from reality.
Thanks again for the support; you are all so lovely and deserve the best!View Thread
I will indeed seek legal advice very soon. I am entitled to half of everything, you are right, Kim.
Maybe it's the old midlife crisis that hit him, who knows. He is like a lovesick teenager, argh - on the computer incessantly, sending Yahoo Messenger messages, and Skyping when I'm not within earshot. The sooner he moves out the better. Did I mention she is Vietnamese?
My first priority is to get a job; I am not highly skilled, but have some qualifications, and I've done all kind of admin and media jobs. Must pick up the pieces of my life now.
God bless to all of you; you are true friends.View Thread
I found out yesterday that my husband has been having an affair for a while (saw messages on his computer); he then admitted to it. She's 19 years younger than him... He's not interested in saving the marriage.
The shock and heartache are bad enough, but worse are the problems awaiting me: I am unemployed, and have been looking for a job for a long time, so no income. I am not young - 48. I don't think I got the job for which I went for the interview recently, as they haven't contacted me (promised to contact the successful candidates by last Wednesday).
So, I won't be on the board very much for a while - I have to focus on survival. I'll go pleading with job agencies in the week.
I wish all of you all the best with your weight loss and maintenance; You are a great group, and mean a lot to me - like my substitute family almost.
Keep on supporting each other. I'll try to pop in from time to time (but to be honest, I won't even have money to afford a flat, much less for an Internet connection.). My husband is cunning and has money stashed away in accounts abroad that are on no record, so I'll only get a certain share of the rest (but we also have a huge mortgage), but that will only sustain me for a few months.