Eating Disorders Community: Support Group

Anorexia: Brain Damage and Chestpain questions

Hello, I'm 23 and I think I may suffer from anorexia. I'm recently realizing, that this may have been going...

Posted by lankypanda

Hello,

I'm 23 and I think I may suffer from anorexia. I'm recently realizing, that this may have been going on for years. Food restrictions, body image issues, low weight. My BMI is average, 22. I'm male 5'11, 150.

The past year has been a lot better, with fewer restrictions (eating pretty much whatever), no weigh-ins, less 'pinching', but the discomfort is still there residually, and I've been so lax about my food intake that I only have vague ideas about what I've been eating! With that said, I've experienced chest pains over this year, and I've recently begun to question of the disorder has affected my brain.

I think 3 years ago, was my worst, where I was restricting myself to mostly coffee, fruits, and cereal, and other low calorie stuff. I'd still consume about 1200 calories a day minimum, but it wasn't good, I was walking a lot, and not sleeping a lot.. I think I was at 135lbs at some point possibly. This was the worst of it though, and lasted for about a year.

I've felt a big decline socially over the past few years, and a lot of it has to do with my sluggishness in conversations, I don't feel like I make quick witty jokes anymore, it's more robotic, and I don't feel the spark of creativity, it's more of an effort now, and sometimes I feel like I may have lost the ability to think fast..

I debate with myself. Is this brought on by my depression (which is frequent in eating disorder cases, including myself), or could I have permanently lost something because of brain damage due to deficiencies? I've heard that the first thing to go in cases of brain damage is humor.

I restricted my food to varying degrees over the course of 3-4yrs. I described the worst of it above, the other few years were much less severe, as in I'd be eating normal foods but they'd all be healthy. No grease, no cheese on sandwiches and then getting progressively more restrictive. I'd say those other few years were more like 15-1600 calories, with the excessive walking, and lack of sleep. I wanted to add that for about a year I've been much much better, but I still notice these cognitive differences in myself.

So I wanted to know. How long does anorexia have to be present before brain damage occurs? Is my case too mild for me to be concerned? Were the occasions where i felt sluggish in conversation related to short -term effects like overall energy level?

My second question is concerning the chest pains. I'm a smoker, and I frequently have a cough, and small tension in my breathing. Sometimes there are sudden dull aching pains above my upper abdomen (these are pretty rare), they feel like a more concentrated cramp. It's been hard to locate exactly where they take place because they feel more internal, but I'd guess about 4 inches down and diagonal towards the center of my body from either nipple.

Are these pains associated with my heart and the eating disorder, or could they be cramps from sore muscles from smoking and coughing?

Thank you for any feedback, glad to be on the support group board now.View Thread

Posted by lankypanda

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Tired of focusing on weight

I've struggled with bulimia as a teenager and throughout my adult life. I'm almost 40 now and I'm tired....

Posted by An_251590

I've struggled with bulimia as a teenager and throughout my adult life. I'm almost 40 now and I'm tired. Tired of always counting my calories, tired of binge crazed weekends where I let loose and stuff my face like there's no tomorrow. Tired of the same old vicious cycle and thoughts such as " I've been good all week" , counting calories, staying under 1100 calories a day, working out every day, only to wake up every Monday morning realizing I did it again by eating more than enough calories to make up for what I was deprived all week. Then I find myself in the same spot, same weight, feeling down and depressed on Monday, and forcing myself to "be good" all over again, all week.
I read the article in Web MD under the risk factors for bulimia. I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused as a child. I think after I purge I feel a sense of relief; that at least that part of my life is over. I feel I have some kind of control in my life when I count calories everyday. It's frustrating.
Because I'm having difficulty coping with what's happened in the past,it directly affects my marriage in that I don't communicate feelings well. For example, I feel out of control when I'm with my husband on a walk or just out, and he looks at another woman, especially one who'se attractive or has large breasts. Whether he looks at them intentionally or nonintentionally, I become very angry and feel very embarrased to be anywhere near or around him. I'm mad at him, the stranger- women, and the situation. I feel that it's wrong, it hurt's me. He is mostly patient and understanding but sometimes he says my anger belongs to the one who abused me not him however when I've scolded him for looking at other women with large breasts and or tight fitting provocative clothing, he refuses to acknowledge it and I get even more upset. I feel like my marriage will be ruined one day due to my inability to cope positively and quite frankly, I don't have any patience for his "looking".
Today, I've made up my mind on not eating more than 550 calories because I ate about 2,000 calories yesterday. I need to feel in control but I don't know where to begin. I'm tired of focusing on my weight. I'd like to redirect my thoughts and create more of a balance.View Thread

Posted byAn_251590

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Tired of focusing on weight I've struggled with bulimia as a teenager and throughout my adult life. I'm almost 40 now and I'm tired....

Tired of focusing on weight

I've struggled with bulimia as a teenager and throughout my adult life. I'm almost 40 now and I'm tired....

Posted by An_251590

I've struggled with bulimia as a teenager and throughout my adult life. I'm almost 40 now and I'm tired. Tired of always counting my calories, tired of binge crazed weekends where I let loose and stuff my face like there's no tomorrow. Tired of the same old vicious cycle and thoughts such as " I've been good all week" , counting calories, staying under 1100 calories a day, working out every day, only to wake up every Monday morning realizing I did it again by eating more than enough calories to make up for what I was deprived all week. Then I find myself in the same spot, same weight, feeling down and depressed on Monday, and forcing myself to "be good" all over again, all week.
I read the article in Web MD under the risk factors for bulimia. I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused as a child. I think after I purge I feel a sense of relief; that at least that part of my life is over. I feel I have some kind of control in my life when I count calories everyday. It's frustrating.
Because I'm having difficulty coping with what's happened in the past,it directly affects my marriage in that I don't communicate feelings well. For example, I feel out of control when I'm with my husband on a walk or just out, and he looks at another woman, especially one who'se attractive or has large breasts. Whether he looks at them intentionally or nonintentionally, I become very angry and feel very embarrased to be anywhere near or around him. I'm mad at him, the stranger- women, and the situation. I feel that it's wrong, it hurt's me. He is mostly patient and understanding but sometimes he says my anger belongs to the one who abused me not him however when I've scolded him for looking at other women with large breasts and or tight fitting provocative clothing, he refuses to acknowledge it and I get even more upset. I feel like my marriage will be ruined one day due to my inability to cope positively and quite frankly, I don't have any patience for his "looking".
Today, I've made up my mind on not eating more than 550 calories because I ate about 2,000 calories yesterday. I need to feel in control but I don't know where to begin. I'm tired of focusing on my weight. I'd like to redirect my thoughts and create more of a balance.View Thread

Posted byAn_251590

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Bad relationship with food

I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner...

Posted by leeannatl

I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner only a little over a year ago because of a work schedule. I went from 130 to 112 over the year. I didn't have much of an appetite when my work schedule became more flexible so I just kept eating dinner only. When I realized I had dropped down to 112- I'm 5'6" by the way- I was surprised and alarmed. I wanted to increase my calorie intake in hopes that I would start to have an appetite during the day. I started having a really high fat milkshake every morning for about three weeks in an attempt to put weight on quickly, and to make my body get used to having calories; I gained 8 lbs. I stopped the high-fat milk shakes when I got to 118 lbs and have made myself eat baked oatmeal as a lunch for a couple of weeks and have gotten to 120 lbs. I thought I would be happy when I got to my ideal weight of 120 lbs but I'm not. I feel fat and ugly. This did not start out being about body weight or image but it is definitley careening that way quickly. I am looking for a low-fat oatmeal bake and thinking of eating it only three times a week plus a healthy dinner every night. I was happy at 118 lbs but the extra two pounds is making me have really unhealthy thinking. I never tried to starve myself before but I am having thoughts of doing so currently. This is alarming for me. My weight has varied a lot through out adulthood because some medicines I take supress my appetite while others are known to cause weight gain. I am educated about eating healthy food but lack the financial resources and time to eat healthfully, at least that's what I tell myself. I kind of feel like why spend money and time on food when I'm not hungry? After weighing in today at 120 I kind of feel like I shouldn't spend my money and time on food because it will make me fat. I've never had this kind of relationship with food. I'd really like some advice on how I could look at things differently.View Thread

Posted by leeannatl

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Bad relationship with food I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner...

Bad relationship with food

I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner...

Posted by leeannatl

I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner only a little over a year ago because of a work schedule. I went from 130 to 112 over the year. I didn't have much of an appetite when my work schedule became more flexible so I just kept eating dinner only. When I realized I had dropped down to 112- I'm 5'6" by the way- I was surprised and alarmed. I wanted to increase my calorie intake in hopes that I would start to have an appetite during the day. I started having a really high fat milkshake every morning for about three weeks in an attempt to put weight on quickly, and to make my body get used to having calories; I gained 8 lbs. I stopped the high-fat milk shakes when I got to 118 lbs and have made myself eat baked oatmeal as a lunch for a couple of weeks and have gotten to 120 lbs. I thought I would be happy when I got to my ideal weight of 120 lbs but I'm not. I feel fat and ugly. This did not start out being about body weight or image but it is definitley careening that way quickly. I am looking for a low-fat oatmeal bake and thinking of eating it only three times a week plus a healthy dinner every night. I was happy at 118 lbs but the extra two pounds is making me have really unhealthy thinking. I never tried to starve myself before but I am having thoughts of doing so currently. This is alarming for me. My weight has varied a lot through out adulthood because some medicines I take supress my appetite while others are known to cause weight gain. I am educated about eating healthy food but lack the financial resources and time to eat healthfully, at least that's what I tell myself. I kind of feel like why spend money and time on food when I'm not hungry? After weighing in today at 120 I kind of feel like I shouldn't spend my money and time on food because it will make me fat. I've never had this kind of relationship with food. I'd really like some advice on how I could look at things differently.View Thread

Posted by leeannatl

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Bad relationship with food I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner...

Bad relationship with food

I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner...

Posted by leeannatl

I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner only a little over a year ago because of a work schedule. I went from 130 to 112 over the year. I didn't have much of an appetite when my work schedule became more flexible so I just kept eating dinner only. When I realized I had dropped down to 112- I'm 5'6" by the way- I was surprised and alarmed. I wanted to increase my calorie intake in hopes that I would start to have an appetite during the day. I started having a really high fat milkshake every morning for about three weeks in an attempt to put weight on quickly, and to make my body get used to having calories; I gained 8 lbs. I stopped the high-fat milk shakes when I got to 118 lbs and have made myself eat baked oatmeal as a lunch for a couple of weeks and have gotten to 120 lbs. I thought I would be happy when I got to my ideal weight of 120 lbs but I'm not. I feel fat and ugly. This did not start out being about body weight or image but it is definitley careening that way quickly. I am looking for a low-fat oatmeal bake and thinking of eating it only three times a week plus a healthy dinner every night. I was happy at 118 lbs but the extra two pounds is making me have really unhealthy thinking. I never tried to starve myself before but I am having thoughts of doing so currently. This is alarming for me. My weight has varied a lot through out adulthood because some medicines I take supress my appetite while others are known to cause weight gain. I am educated about eating healthy food but lack the financial resources and time to eat healthfully, at least that's what I tell myself. I kind of feel like why spend money and time on food when I'm not hungry? After weighing in today at 120 I kind of feel like I shouldn't spend my money and time on food because it will make me fat. I've never had this kind of relationship with food. I'd really like some advice on how I could look at things differently.View Thread

Posted by leeannatl

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Bad relationship with food I have been experiencing an unhealthy and odd relationship with food. I got in the habit of eating dinner...

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1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:STRUGGLING! Hi my name is Rachel I'm 19 and a freshman in college. I'm a normal weight but have anorexic behaviors....