I haven't fessed up yet. I REALLY don't want to. But for the third month in a row I've went through more than 3/4 of my food allotment (I get food stamps, $200 a month) in two weeks. I've got just under $30 to see me through the next two weeks. This is the most out of control things have ever been for me and I really cannot keep on this way because the no money/no food thing just adds to any amount of distress I am already experiencing and frankly, I'm going nuts (though technically I guess I'm already there, heh).
So I don't want to fess up (and my timing could be better... I was just awarded social security -which brings with it it's own mess and such- but it won't kick in till next month so right now my medical and such is still crap) but I've got to... but along with being totally embarrassed by it I'm sort of scared spit-less because I don't know what to expect... I've read the 'what to expect at your appointment' things but I don't know what to expect AFTER...View Thread
What sort of form did you fill out? How old are you? If you're over 18 I would suggest looking in to getting rid of that form some how... could you ask the folks at the counseling center about it?View Thread
No, I'm not even underweight, I don't get it! I'm not even really close... no surprise since I am diagnosable as bulimic and they tend to be within the normal to overweight range (I am NOT overweight though I have been in the past). It has been fluctuating a bit the past month or so and this past two week period between appointments I did lose rather more than is considered healthy for that amount of time *shrug*. Anyway at first I would say that it is not the number for me it's just the FAT; I wouldn't mind being this weight if it were not for all the fat that is still hanging out (of course I wouldn't mind weighing a little less either but hey, whatever). I get so tired of people telling me I don't need to lose any more weight or that I shouldn't. I mean what the hell do they know? It's like I've told my mom several times before, I have to see this body naked, they don't. How can they know when I shouldn't be losing any more weight?? The number does bother me though, I desperately don't want to gain any of it back and if I have to start eating right that is exactly what will happen.
*shakes head* never mind I'm just rambling. Stupid presidents day means I've got to stress about it for two more days... and there's no food in the house which is 'good' on one hand and bad on the other because so cannot do the binge and purge thing... which is also good but you know, GAH!
I have that problem a lot too so I understand. I am sorry today is not a good day for you
Thanks for the idea but I cannot figure out how to make my food money less accessible to me. What with debit cards and such it's so easy to get to your money any more isn't it?
What kind of appointment I meant... I meant the 'there's something wrong here as far as my eating habits ar concerned' appointment, if that makes sense, lol. Actually I'm afraid I am rather closer to that appointment than I want to be because the BHC (behavioral health consultant) I see at my doctors office said today that he has noticed over the last few appointments that I have been losing weight and by the end of the appointment I was asked to make an appointment with one of the doctors and to see him (the BHC) again 'soon', which I am assuming means I am not supposed to wait the two weeks I usually do between appointments... so maybe I'll wait a week, heh... might put the doctors appointment off that long too... Seriously I want to cry just thinking about it
Anyway I guess what I was asking was for some idea about what happens 'after'... but thinking about it now that's probably not so easily answered... sorry >.<
Thanks for your answer Kat I hope your day gets betterView Thread
Hi folks, new to this particular community. That said I'll give just a little background info. I started purging when I was 18/19, during my first year at University. That lasted for about 6 months or so, off and on (enough to qualify for a diagnosis had anyone known, not as much or as often as of late). I managed to stop on my own and only 'relapsed' every so often over the next 10 years (am 28 now), nothing huge, and not over any really extended period of time.
This past year I have been engaging more in restrictive type behaviors and other inappropriate compensatory methods with the occasional binge and or purge here or there. More recently (the last couple months, especially the last 4 or 5 weeks), what with my @#$%ing therapist kicking me to the curb (long story and I'm already long winded) I have been doing a LOT of binging and purging. We're talking a couple times a day, at least half the week.
Over the last couple (few? may be more than two) days I have noticed my heart acting funny. Not the sort of flutter you sometimes get from too much caffeine or something like that. It's more like it beats merrily on for a bit and then decides 'Oh, wait a minute' and sort of pauses for a count or two, like it's just taking a breather or something, and then continues on. Any ideas?
And just a side note, I'm not sure my doctor knows about this particular behavior. He is aware of others (I'm borderline and like most others I tend to engage in some form of self injury) but if he has any suspicions re:an eating disorder he has said nothing to me.
sigh* If only it were as easily done as it is said. I know I got myself in to this mess so I should just bite the bullet and get on with it... but it's not that easy. I'm very ashamed of all of this *shrug* *blush*
Anyway thanks for the response Caprice, I appreciate it.View Thread
I have two friends who know. I didn't tell them, at least not outright. We went to University together and all graduated with our bachelors in psychology. They both went on (and married each other ) and one is now a marriage and family therapist and the other is a middle school counselor... so they both sort of figured it out.
I think my family has their suspicions but no one has said anything directly and I'm not telling.
Not even my doctor knows... at least, I think he has his suspicions as well but he hasn't said anything. *shrug*View Thread
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