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*shakes head* never mind I'm just rambling. Stupid presidents day means I've got to stress about it for two more days... and there's no food in the house which is 'good' on one hand and bad on the other because so cannot do the binge and purge thing... which is also good but you know, GAH!
Sorry, I'm done now.View Thread

Sorry sorry sorry! *blush*View Thread
I have that problem a lot too so I understand. I am sorry today is not a good day for you

Thanks for the idea but I cannot figure out how to make my food money less accessible to me. What with debit cards and such it's so easy to get to your money any more isn't it?
What kind of appointment I meant... I meant the 'there's something wrong here as far as my eating habits ar concerned' appointment, if that makes sense, lol. Actually I'm afraid I am rather closer to that appointment than I want to be because the BHC (behavioral health consultant) I see at my doctors office said today that he has noticed over the last few appointments that I have been losing weight and by the end of the appointment I was asked to make an appointment with one of the doctors and to see him (the BHC) again 'soon', which I am assuming means I am not supposed to wait the two weeks I usually do between appointments... so maybe I'll wait a week, heh... might put the doctors appointment off that long too... Seriously I want to cry just thinking about it

Anyway I guess what I was asking was for some idea about what happens 'after'... but thinking about it now that's probably not so easily answered... sorry >.<
Thanks for your answer Kat
I hope your day gets betterView Thread
So I don't want to fess up (and my timing could be better... I was just awarded social security -which brings with it it's own mess and such- but it won't kick in till next month so right now my medical and such is still crap) but I've got to... but along with being totally embarrassed by it I'm sort of scared spit-less because I don't know what to expect... I've read the 'what to expect at your appointment' things but I don't know what to expect AFTER...View Thread

Anyway thanks for the response Caprice, I appreciate it.View Thread

) and one is now a marriage and family therapist and the other is a middle school counselor... so they both sort of figured it out.I think my family has their suspicions but no one has said anything directly and I'm not telling.
Not even my doctor knows... at least, I think he has his suspicions as well but he hasn't said anything. *shrug*View Thread

This past year I have been engaging more in restrictive type behaviors and other inappropriate compensatory methods with the occasional binge and or purge here or there. More recently (the last couple months, especially the last 4 or 5 weeks), what with my @#$%ing therapist kicking me to the curb (long story and I'm already long winded) I have been doing a LOT of binging and purging. We're talking a couple times a day, at least half the week.
Over the last couple (few? may be more than two) days I have noticed my heart acting funny. Not the sort of flutter you sometimes get from too much caffeine or something like that. It's more like it beats merrily on for a bit and then decides 'Oh, wait a minute' and sort of pauses for a count or two, like it's just taking a breather or something, and then continues on. Any ideas?
And just a side note, I'm not sure my doctor knows about this particular behavior. He is aware of others (I'm borderline and like most others I tend to engage in some form of self injury) but if he has any suspicions re:an eating disorder he has said nothing to me.
OK, thanks for your time.View Thread
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